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Rating: 7 I think I see what you were trying to do here, and although it's a good idea - I don't think you've quite managed it.
You have to think of the force halberd as a bo staff or similar weapon, rather than the katana you seem to be trying to emulate.
Also - I don't think Tactical Dreadnought armour has the range of motion required for such martial arts - I think even power armour would be difficult.
I tried something similar, but had to convert a standard plastic marine almost completely with green stuff and a halberd I had in my bits box. I like the goldy colours though. If you wanna see my attempt at the Grey Knight jsut ask.