I’ve had it! You shall rue the day you touch my food!
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Thread: I’ve had it! You shall rue the day you touch my food!

  1. #1

    Default I’ve had it! You shall rue the day you touch my food!

    I’m not a mean person, but when it comes to people stealing from me I get fed up. When you take a person’s food, the first time may be a mistake. The second time is selfish, but the fourth, fifth and sixth times are just plain inexcusable.

    While I’m away from school for the summer break, I work for the park department. I work a full forty hour week cutting down trees and maintaining trails and rec. areas. It’s important for me to keep hydrated as well as keep my blood sugar up and stable so I don’t get dizzy and pass out. (I’m hypoglycemic.) When I go to the office fridge, I expect to see my food and my beverages getting a nice cool chill to them while I’m out working. For the past week, I’ve been denied my sweet, sweet substance due to one of the night shift guys who doesn’t think that the rules of common courtesy apply to him! My boss has told him repeatedly to stop his behavior after he was caught stealing my friend’s food as well, but he still continues. He has his own food, no question about that, but he does this to
    be a jerk.

    Today he went too far; he left a wise-crack thank you note in the vacant spot where my food should have been.

    This is war.

    Chemical warfare.

    Now now, I’m not going to poison him. I’ve made a delicious little lunch for myself and one for him for the fridge tomorrow. The lunch in the blue cooler will be my lunch, the one in the red will be his. Both are identical, say for one thing: laxative. You dare put a drain on my food, I’ll put a drain on you!

    Let the fun begin. I hope he has a good stash of reading materials in close proximity.

    FYI: It’s not a dangerous amount in the sandwich either; just enough to let the lesson of justice sit in his stomach a little. And if you’re wondering what my boss will do, he’ll laugh. I even told him. This guy needs only one little lesson on the porcelain throne to get the idea.

  2. #2
    Official Freak Bar Witch wiccanpony's Avatar
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    :o If your Boss doesn’t get a handle on this problem, slip him a laxative sandwich too......I would still buy myself a small lock box to keep my goodies in.



    but on a serious note, not a good idea, you could get into trouble

  3. #3

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    You\'re right. I had a second thought about it so I switched out the laxative with some jalepeno sauce instead. This way I won\'t have to worry about anything serious.

  4. #4

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    Haaa!! Love it!!

    I used to work fast food and ocassionally people would call in and let us know we forgot something in their order - no big deal. We made the stuff and gave it to them........the honor system. Weeeelll, I get this call - \"Hi, this is Dewayne (after 25 years I still remember his name!!) and you forgot my double cheese burger (still remember that too). OK, c\'mon down, no prob.\" Only a night or two later Dewayne calls again with the same story...............hmmm..........\"OK Dewayne, c\'mon down.\" He got his cheese burger plus about a tablespoon of salt!! Good ol\' Dewayne never called again!lollol

  5. #5
    Superfreak!!! Dragonsreach's Avatar
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    I\'m thinking that you live stateside, by a number of things you put in your comments spelling and phrase-wise.

    You said: \"My boss has told him repeatedly to stop his behavior after he was caught stealing my friend’s food as well, but he still continues.\"
    That should be a disciplinary issue now. In addition you have stated that you are Hypoglycemic, which means he is deliberatley endangering your immediate well being and possibly long term health.(*)
    You have good cause to either issue a \"Cease and Desist order\" on his ass, or raise a formal complaint citing Health and Safety issues and pointing out to your boss that this persons actions are rendering your employer liable should you take ill at work through his stealing of your food.


    (*Kinda of a similar issue ocurred a few years ago with one of my technicians who is Diabetic. Ended up requesting that the person involved resign before we had to fire him. That\'s how serious employers HAVE to take issues on personal health in the workplace.)

  6. #6

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    It\'s a sad-sad world we live in where you can\'t \'poison\' your own food so the SoB stealing it can get his comeuppance. :drunk:

    It\'s also a sad-sad world we live in where you can\'t smack the crud out of someone stealing your food. :drunk:

    In all seriousness however the hot sauce idea at least can\'t be construed as poisonous so you should be safe there. Though it might be nicer to see the crook in question make a mess in his pants. Hopefully this will have a comic outcome where someone learns his lesson.

  7. #7
    Superfreak!!! Dragonsreach's Avatar
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    Originally posted by MPJ
    It\'s also a sad-sad world we live in where you can\'t smack the crud out of someone stealing your food. True. But I\'d settle for embarassing the Cr*p outa someone in public. The one thing I did learn in school Drama classes was voice \"Projection\", kinda hid in the back the rest of the time and tried to do my maths homework.

    In all seriousness however the hot sauce idea at least can\'t be construed as poisonous so you should be safe there. Though it might be nicer to see the crook in question make a mess in his pants.
    IIRC there was a case in the UK about 2-3 years ago about someone being charged with Assault for putting Ex-Lax in someones tea.
    Can\'t remember what the outcome was for definiate, but I\'m pretty sure the \"Offender\" got fined over it.

  8. #8
    Coffin Dodger / Keymaster airhead's Avatar
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    Little bit of Endorphine Rush or PureCap should do the trick. Both are over a million scoville units in heat. (oh my God hot - police pepper spray is rated at 40 thousand.)

    Let me know if you need any.
    :flame:

  9. #9
    Superfreak!!! Dragonsreach's Avatar
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    Originally posted by airhead
    Little bit of Endorphine Rush or PureCap should do the trick. Both are over a million scoville units in heat. (oh my God hot - police pepper spray is rated at 40 thousand.)

    Let me know if you need any.
    :flame:
    Then Lace the toilet paper with it as well. :twisted:

  10. #10

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    Originally posted by airhead
    Little bit of Endorphine Rush or PureCap should do the trick. Both are over a million scoville units in heat. (oh my God hot - police pepper spray is rated at 40 thousand.)
    A million on the Scoville scale is indeed super-hot (and, IMO, nothing less than the jerk deserves :D).

    But police-grade pepper spray is not a mere 40,000; it is usually rated in the millions - dangerously hot.

    Einion

  11. #11

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    We had a similar situation with some of the ladies up here at work.

    The one lady eventually made tuna fish sandwiches out of catfood, waited until they disappeared then announced to everyone what she had done.

    Of course, the reprecussions are that no one steals the \'made at home\' lunches now, just the prepackaged foods....:rolleyes:


    I agree a few drops of some seriously hot sauce would be good. Let me recommend DAVES TEMPORARY INSANITY....despite the name, I keep coming back to that mouth torcher!

  12. #12

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    I would recomand a healthy dose of ipecac: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ma_oNT0-d0


    And you can\'t really be charged with anything as long as it\'s your food. Just label it \"my food, do not take !!\" and you should be fine. Afterall, you\'re allowed to keep ipecac in case of emergency.

  13. #13

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    Originally posted by MPJ
    It\'s a sad-sad world we live in where you can\'t \'poison\' your own food so the SoB stealing it can get his comeuppance. :drunk:
    I think it falls under the same legal principle as not being allowed to lay man traps on your property to catch trespassers.

    Anyway I can\'t believe this guy - does he feel so secure with his job that he is willing to just openly be a jackass at work despite being warned by his boss? Which VP is he related to?

  14. #14
    Official Freak Bar Witch wiccanpony's Avatar
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    Originally posted by No Such Agency
    Originally posted by MPJ
    It\'s a sad-sad world we live in where you can\'t \'poison\' your own food so the SoB stealing it can get his comeuppance. :drunk:
    I think it falls under the same legal principle as not being allowed to lay man traps on your property to catch trespassers.

    Anyway I can\'t believe this guy - does he feel so secure with his job that he is willing to just openly be a jackass at work despite being warned by his boss? Which VP is he related to?

    :rolleyes:I only use Humane Man Traps.......because a “Man” is a terrible thing to waste...... catch and release ( but no one said how long before release :twisted: ) :Plol

  15. #15

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    You say \"release\" like they\'d actually want to leave.

  16. #16

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    i was gonna suggest laxatives!!

    working in a hosp i have access to some really potent ones too

    i have felt the same way in the past. good on yer!

  17. #17

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    Wow! Remind me not to piss you guys off- you\'re vindictive! lol

    Good luck with the chilli/laxatives/arsenic... Guy sounds like a complete wanker.

  18. #18

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    Well, the little event is bound to unfold tonight. I hope he enjoys an inferno in his mouth. I can handle extremely hot food, but I wouldn\'t even touch what I did to this sandwich. I made it look like roast beef with lettuce, tomatoes but with a huge \"packet\" of that sauce in the middle. (I found some \"packets\" that are edible). This should be interesting.

    My boss is looking to get this guy kicked out. We\'ve suddenly been \"missing\" over 20 gallons of fuel at the fill station and he happens to be the only one working when it\'s happened. The only problem with getting him booted is that he\'s a council-man\'s nephew and the council-man is relentless and hates my boss. Sounds like some lame story, I know, but it\'s true.

    I\'ll see what the results are for tomorrow :twisted: *cackle*

  19. #19

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    There has GOT to be some report on what happens - Photos would be a plus - Video and you-be-da-man!!

  20. #20

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    Originally posted by Shawn R. L.
    There has GOT to be some report on what happens...


    Einion

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