Tales From The Freak Bar #9 - Page 7
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Thread: Tales From The Freak Bar #9

  1. #121

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    I've been sworn to secrecy as to what happened that day. My life is in jeapardy if I tell.

  2. #122

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    Quote Originally Posted by airhead View Post
    Ha... I throw the BS flag on that one. You, Ma'am, are an instigator.
    OMG IM going to slap this forum SILLY~
    I’ve type this out about 3 times now and each time i hit the +reply to thread button instead of post quick reply........
    I know I’m a blonde and if i do it AGAIN I'm remembering to copy and paste this before i do it i swear! IF not there will be a triad of cursing on my end about the endless frustration that is the +reply to thread button! Your are my bane atm * evil eye*

    Mr. Airhead, I was in no way at that particular date and time an instigator i assure you, i can be. Just like your self :P
    We were all well behaved that day, until the game of things came out then all hell broke loose. But that’s another story.

    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Bunting View Post
    I've been sworn to secrecy as to what happened that day. My life is in jeopardy if I tell.
    Did something happen that day that i don’t remember?!!???!!?


    Pre edit: I did it again @^#& !@#$ + reply to thread button... you are so tempting, or i am so tired... either one, you have been assinged a spot in my little black book.

  3. #123

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    Quote Originally Posted by leopardpixie View Post
    OMG IM going to slap this forum SILLY~
    Pre edit: I did it again @^#& !@#$ + reply to thread button... you are so tempting, or i am so tired... either one, you have been assinged a spot in my little black book.
    You just need a stiffy.

    I'd recommend a nice screwdriver, or maybe a margarita on the rocks. I'd stay away from the tequila however.
    "Reality, she's a mathematical bitch from hell.", MaxedOutMama
    Wanna be bored? Watch me twitter. --<>-- Still have neurons? Watch my YouTube channel on painting!
    Want to know when to fry your neurons? My painting twitter will announce the videos.
    To judge how far to follow my advice, consider this: ---<>--- Slappin' paint on minis since 2006

  4. #124

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    Quote Originally Posted by PegaZus View Post
    You just need a stiffy.
    Lets just leave it at that lol

  5. #125

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    Quote Originally Posted by leopardpixie View Post

    Mr. Airhead, I was in no way at that particular date and time an instigator i assure you, i can be. Just like your self :P
    We were all well behaved that day, until the game of things came out then all hell broke loose. But that’s another story.


    Did something happen that day that i don’t remember?!!???!!?
    Well, we did learn a few things about each other in that Game of Things. But I won't tell...

  6. #126

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    Quote Originally Posted by Roger Bunting View Post
    Well, we did learn a few things about each other in that Game of Things. But I won't tell...
    Hard wood floors rock!

  7. #127
    Official Freak Bar Witch wiccanpony's Avatar
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    cross by palm with "silver" and I'll tell
    " So remember that, when they're beating your ass with a metal shovel while you're dressed as Little Bo Peep - it's not deviant...it's art.

  8. #128
    Superfreak!!! lizcam's Avatar
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    Bubba, Lond Island Iced Tea please. I really have to read the forums myself from now on and not have Roger read them for me. I've missed quite a lot.

    BTW, Who's mopboy ATM?
    We done done it now. We're finally hitched. We are now the dreaded two headed Roger - Liz - Bunting monster you have all feared.

  9. #129
    Official Freak Bar Witch wiccanpony's Avatar
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    Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.

    WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY -

    WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR -

    SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.


    Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety
    lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real

    examples that have been heard or reported:

    On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

    ---o0o---

    On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

    ----o0o---

    On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

    ----o0o---

    "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

    ---o0o---

    "Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

    ---o0o---

    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

    ---o0o---

    After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

    ---o0o---

    From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."


    ---o0o---

    "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the
    ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have

    a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

    If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."

    ---o0o---


    Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try

    to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves

    you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

    ----o0o---


    "Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our

    compliments."

    ---o0o---


    "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

    ---o0o---

    And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"


    ---o0o---

    Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town :

    The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump
    and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault,

    it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."


    ---o0o---

    Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"


    ---o0o---

    Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to he terminal."


    ---o0o---

    An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
    Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.

    She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

    ---o0o---


    After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."

    ---o0o---

    Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

    ---o0o---

    Heard on a Kulula flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section for this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

    ---o0o---

    A plane was taking off from Durban Airport . After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293,

    non-stop from Durban to Cape Town , The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight.. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOODNESS!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
    While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

    A passenger then yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
    " So remember that, when they're beating your ass with a metal shovel while you're dressed as Little Bo Peep - it's not deviant...it's art.

  10. #130

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    We've just had the official confirmation we can move to a 2 bedroom apartment, which just happens to be across the hall from the one we're in right now. Donna will no longer have to use the living room as her bedroom.

  11. #131

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    congrats Liz!

    of course you have to change all your info. And something tells me that you are going to have to pound into some heads that yes you are changing address

    "Madam, it sez here that you have moved. I cannt see any changes."
    "Yes, yes, yes. Woman are in awe of his manhood and men swoon in his wake. Truly he is a legend in his own mind."

  12. #132

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    wow... ive been gone for WAY too long... does any 1 have a map? wheres my tank? -_-

  13. #133
    Official Freak Bar Witch wiccanpony's Avatar
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    get posting Wolf Fang ...we need a new mop boy
    " So remember that, when they're beating your ass with a metal shovel while you're dressed as Little Bo Peep - it's not deviant...it's art.

  14. #134

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    i never realized that wolfie wasn't a mop boy. thought he was WAY past that unless hes gone back and deleted some of his post. Which i wouldn't doubt

  15. #135

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    why would i delete posts? and no im not a mop boy XD... and i still cant find my tank.... tha hampster musta run off with it again...

  16. #136
    Superfreak!!! lizcam's Avatar
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    75 posts to go and I hit super freak!
    We done done it now. We're finally hitched. We are now the dreaded two headed Roger - Liz - Bunting monster you have all feared.

  17. #137

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    get posting :P and why am i only at 950? *knows he broke 1000 a LONG time ago lol

  18. #138
    Superfreak!!! Dragonsreach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizcam View Post
    75 posts to go and I hit super freak!
    Ah, but which superfreak?
    And hit with what?
    I believe in Karma, what you give, is what you get returned. Affirmation; Savage Garden
    Oh look my IQ results came in:-
    , and proud of it.

  19. #139
    Superfreak!!! lizcam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolf Fang View Post
    get posting :P and why am i only at 950? *knows he broke 1000 a LONG time ago lol
    I'm showing you @ 921. I think the posting gods are playing with you.
    We done done it now. We're finally hitched. We are now the dreaded two headed Roger - Liz - Bunting monster you have all feared.

  20. #140

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    Quote Originally Posted by lizcam View Post
    I'm showing you @ 921. I think the posting gods are playing with you.
    In Wolf Fang's defense, I did see him at the 951 mark shortly after he posted. At this rate, he'll be down to 900 by evening.
    "Reality, she's a mathematical bitch from hell.", MaxedOutMama
    Wanna be bored? Watch me twitter. --<>-- Still have neurons? Watch my YouTube channel on painting!
    Want to know when to fry your neurons? My painting twitter will announce the videos.
    To judge how far to follow my advice, consider this: ---<>--- Slappin' paint on minis since 2006

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