Things you overhear.

[Dragonsreach]

Under normal circumstances I try to get out of the office and stretch my legs to a coffeeshop, grab a brew and then walk back, 2 mile round trip.
Yesterday, in the queue ahead of me are two young girls nattering away, they get their order, and go sit down still giving it lots of "scouse jabber".
I end up sitting two or three tables away minding me own business, actually minding the crumbs of a Banana and Pecan Breakfast slice, when I (and the rest of the coffee shop) hears:-

"Eeeeuw! I didn't know they put milk in a Latte!"




Classic!

[skraaal]

She must have had quite a shock, poor girl

[Master of fact]

Brill.

I was at dog race's for part of my stagg do and the lad's were chatting up some girls beside us and we here one of the boys ask " when do the jockey's come out ". Everyone just looked at him. The girls promptly up and left. This guy is in charge of Navigating one of (UK) our destroyers. lol.

[atacam]

Best one for me, was I was shopping in ASDA a long time ago, with my then current girlfriend. I looked in the meat section and saw Venison burgers, which I had never seen before. I shouted to my GF, across a packed isle saying look Mandy, venison burgers, to which she replied, err I aint eating fox!

Well people, me included just dropped to the floor laughing, I got it in the neck when we got home, but it was classic.

[waghorn41]

I was in a local cafe and ordered two coffees for myself and my wife; 1 white, 1 black. When she handed over the black the young girl asked "Do you want milk with that?"

Same cafe, different girl, same order. Girl turned to colleague and asked "How do you make a black coffee?"

[gohkm]

There's a well-known joke on the Internet about a certain fast food chain's employees being unable to count. I never thought it'd repeat itself in my life, but when I was out at a fast food joint in Rochester, NY, I ordered half a dozen pieces of this stuff, and got told, "sorry, sir, we only sell them in boxes of 6 or 12".

[Wyrmypops]

I'd introduced a girlfriend to that GW post-apocalyptic sci-fi skirmish campaign game, Necromunda. We were nattering about something gaming related at the bus stop as a fellow approached. It was at that point the girlfriend harped "It was you turned me onto Necro'".

[Farin]

One of my last gym classes in grammar school:
We´re supposed to play tabletennis, so i get into that "ready stance" to serve the ball and she looks at me with that genuine, priceless expression of surprise and says
: "Wait, you REALLY wanna play tabletennis ??"

I just stared at her for half a minute , cause i didn´t know what to say...

During a break in college, two guys sitting in front of me, the first one turning to his friend:" Hey, do you know , what the N in the period system of elements stands for? "

One from the owner of my local gaming store:

The store carries alot of board games and cosims, and one day he shows a few WWII cosims to a customer, who reads the discription at at the box, and and goes:

"Wait, one turn is 3 months? I was actually looking for something i can play on a single weekend "


@Mike: I wonder what happens when she finds out how honey is made of.

which reminds me: A friend´s granddad is a beekeeper and sells his honey on local markets. One time, a guy points at a jar and says:" Does that stuff contain sugar? ". His reply: "What do yout believe that tree behind me is made of?"
Something tells me the guy didn´t get that.

[In Chigh P.I.]

A night out in a busy bar/cafe several years ago with my (not current) girlfriend:

One of my friends is talking about politics & how big buisinesmen try to wangle thier way into favour with certain parties/groups, he mentions Mohamed Al Fayed, my girlfriend says 'oh yea, the boxer?

[Roger Bunting]

While I'm in England Liz and I talk on the MSN instant chat every evening. I will read her various articles from Yahoo News UK. This conversation took place one day (from Liz's perspective)

Me: Oh! They have a 250,000 pound armadillo

Liz: It must be pre-historic

Me: What?

Liz: It must be pre-historic. They're much smaller now.

Me: What are you on about, woman?

Liz: A 250,000 pound armadillo.

Me: Not armadillo. Armoured Limo! That's how much it costs!

[supervike]

While I'm in England Liz and I talk on the MSN instant chat every evening. I will read her various articles from Yahoo News UK. This conversation took place one day (from Liz's perspective)

Me: Oh! They have a 250,000 pound armadillo

Liz: It must be pre-historic

Me: What?

Liz: It must be pre-historic. They're much smaller now.

Me: What are you on about, woman?

Liz: A 250,000 pound armadillo.

Me: Not armadillo. Armoured Limo! That's how much it costs!

That's hilarious!

[Wyrmypops]

While I'm in England Liz and I talk on the MSN instant chat every evening. I will read her various articles from Yahoo News UK. This conversation took place one day (from Liz's perspective)

Me: Oh! They have a 250,000 pound armadillo

Liz: It must be pre-historic

Me: What?

Liz: It must be pre-historic. They're much smaller now.

Me: What are you on about, woman?

Liz: A 250,000 pound armadillo.

Me: Not armadillo. Armoured Limo! That's how much it costs!

I want four candles. What are those?
What you asked for. Fork handles.

[TheDrescher]

As I was walking into the office today I overheard a very heated debate between two people in another department. They were discussing whether we actually landed on the moon. It was a long day.

[IdofEntity]

Wait, you get to take a break from the office to walk 2 miles? Where the hell do you work?! Are you hiring web developers? If I leave my desk to stretch my legs for five minutes the rumor mill kicks up that I'm not busy enough. (We can look at sites like this during the workday though and no one seems to mind that.)

[waghorn41]

I want four candles. What are those?
What you asked for. Fork handles.

And don't forget the billhooks

[Orki]

Some funny stories there guys, thought I should add some more...

My GF suffers from an egg allergy, and I remember the singer in my band asking her once; "Does that mean you can't eat chicken?"

A workmate of hers also asked; "So can you eat egg powder?"

Plonkers!

While on the subject of eggs - A mate of mine has suffered from a very bizzare eating disorder since he was a toddler (his mums cooking triggered this we think), whereby the only thing he would eat for at least a decade was toast. No joke. Just toast.

Eventually he branched out into the delicious world of "that white stuff you get on the water when cooking pasta". Eugh, starch. Once he tried a chz'n'tom pizza base though things started looking up for him, and even got into plain stir-fries. This was the limit of his experience of real food though, as hilariously demonstrated by his first real encounter with eggs...

So some mates and I were mooching about one day, when the host offers everyone some hard boiled eggs to snack on. My mate asks "You can actually eat those things?"

Pure class!

We explained that yeah, we do. You boil it, peel of the shell and eat the egg. He then says "But wont it just dribble everywhere?" XD

[Talion]

When I was employed by the Welsh Assembly. We had a young girl start......she told me she was a vegetarian, so I was asking

"oh what kind of food do you eat then", she goes on about the food she eats and then finally says "but my favourite is Lamb"

Let's say she was rather devastated when I told her Lamb was an actual Lamb.

[DrEvilmonki]

Just got out of Avatar and as the guy in front of me hands back his glasses he says to his girlfriend "back to regular 2D"

[Orki]

Let's say she was rather devastated when I told her Lamb was an actual Lamb.

That was even funnier when I remembered you're in wales!

And for no reason whatsoever (other than it's funny): The chap I mentioned also used to like eating the bottom of the cardboard box that pizza's are delivered in. :/

Mmm, tasty.

[Dragonsreach]

Wait, you get to take a break from the office to walk 2 miles? Yep it's called lunch break!
Where the hell do you work?! Birkenhead (AKA Basra with electricity)
Are you hiring web developers? Take a look at Wirral Council's website then you tell me. http://www.wirral.gov.uk
If I leave my desk to stretch my legs for five minutes the rumor mill kicks up that I'm not busy enough. (We can look at sites like this during the workday though and no one seems to mind that.) Great isn't it? For the best part of 10 years I've been able to freely look at Coolminiornot from work at lunch or after I sign out. But now workers have to have a filtered service than means I can't even look up simple things like my own doctors website, can't get access to technical forums for IT work, can't even get to Hewlett Packards website( and they are our primary IT supplier) Oh and most classic of all We've had to get corporate permission to get the anti-virus updates passed through the filter.
BUT the councillors, who are elected representatives, don't have any filtration and are free to access ANYTHING online.
BITTER, MOI? What could possibly give you that idea?

.............