I just have to share!
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Thread: I just have to share!

  1. #1

    Default I just have to share!

    This year is starting out completely awesome despite the first day of the year consisting of cleaning and taking care of everything from the dinner yesterday.

    Here's the story:
    Several months ago I started feeling kind of miserable in my relationship, I felt neglected and generally avoided. I was not a happy cat. Time passed and she stopped saying goodbye when she left home, she started flinching when I tried to kiss her and walked around me when I asked for hugs...

    After a while I stopped feeling miserable about it and got into some state of acceptance, "this is going to end" but decided to get the most out of it until the end at least, I still loved her after all, even if it might not be mutual any longer.

    With me getting a new job and her starting at the University we both got schedules that pushed us farther apart and we didn't really see each other despite living together and I was even more sure that it would end and that soon.

    But some time ago I felt that this wouldn't do. I felt that I owed myself something more than tired acceptance to end it with. After all, with what we went through to get together I felt that it just wouldn't do with letting it fade like that and I decided to try to get close again. Actually, this was much thanks to the chain mail story that was posted here a while ago, I think it was by Jesters....
    It felt awkward at first, kinda like picking up someone at the bar while being sober but without that awesome tingle you get for trying something new. It started slow, I forced myself to stop my usual routine when I got home from work and instead sat down beside her while she was at her computer and simply just kept her company, later I asked if I could join her watching cartoons (she's completely into the Japanese Anime cartoons) and we cuddled closer and closer as the days passed until the day before yesterday where I (almost as nervous as the first time) leaned towards her and gave her a kiss to test... And she answered. The jump of joy my heart made then was worth more than anything I can describe.

    And this morning we finally had that talk we should have had so many months ago and I found out that she was just as frustrated about it as I was, we had managed to stop listening to each other and started taking each other for granted. She's been hugging me spontaneously and been jumping around the flat all day, just like the girl I once got to know and fell in love with, she's looking happy again after so many months of hardly looking me in the eyes at all... I can't even begin to describe how that feels.

    Please take care of your loved ones, I know I will from now on. I've never felt so happy when going through a whole day with cleaning and dish washing.
    Quote Originally Posted by TrystanGST View Post
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  2. #2


    Brilliant glad everything worked out, it's easy to get trapped once you get into that hole, good job breaking the cycle and all the best for the future.

    On a more negative note, sorry to hear you had to wash dishes and clean, nobody should suffer that!

  3. #3


    Thats great! Me and my, wife were similar, just fell out of touch. I experienced the flinching and avoidance then the exceptance untill one day i cracked and had a long talk. I got some great news today but its bad luck to tell anyone this early! (apparantly) i will share in a few weeks!

    Sucks doing dish's, just get it over snd done with!

  4. #4


    Wow. I'm impressed. And happy that it all worked out well for you and your partner!

    I think this is why they say you need to schedule "couple time" and date nights and stuff like that, as corny as that sounds. They don't call it the daily grind for nothing, it can really grind you down and take away from your relationship(s) if you're not careful.

  5. #5
    Superfreak!!! Torn blue sky's Avatar
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    That's absolutely awesome to hear man, glad you got all your shit in order =D
    2011 is already looking up and it's only a day old
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  6. #6


    good man, its hard when you get stuck in the taking each other for granted rut. takes very little to make em happy in the end just listening to em being interested in what their day was like. sounds soppy but thats women innit. cant live with em, cant kill em lol. im one of the few people i know who,s still married after 20 years (i'd have been out in 12 lol). glad for you my advice dont blow it.

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  7. #7


    man thats great, im happy for you pal!
    too bad you have to watch crappy cartoons though, but hey you cant have it all

    ive actually been through the same thing, didnt end that well (which im happy for today) but that feeling of neglection you describe sucks a lot.
    ...keep talking
    Forever remains


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  9. #9
    Consummate Brushlicker Jericho's Avatar
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    Mine went the other way this year, where I knew things were stalling out rapidly but the lady involved was getting more deeply into the relationship. In my typical fashion I hesitated just long enough to make things awful and it ended badly.

    Glad yours has a happier ending

  10. #10


    that's great! i'm happy for you two.

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  11. #11
    Superfreak!!! lizcam's Avatar
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    My ex and got like that but far worse. I know that awful feeling of having to cringe every time someone touches you even when you don't want to. It took courage to do what you did and a lot of wisdom. Well done! Just make sure you keep it up.
    We done done it now. We're finally hitched. We are now the dreaded two headed Roger - Liz - Bunting monster you have all feared.

  12. #12


    You're welcome!
    Seriously though, that's awesome! And pretty much why I shared that piece of email terrorism.
    I was going down that neglected/neglectful road myself earlier this year.
    We patched it up, and remind each other every day (and most nights) that we do still love each other.
    A big thing is sharing time.
    We got into the habit of splitting our efforts, it IS more efficient, but spending time apart is not healthy in large doses.


  13. #13


    Seen up close and personal too many relationships grind to an ugly halt. It's SO GOOD to hear of one that is redeemed.

  14. #14


    Awww! Anyone has a tissue? I need one . . . so sweet!

  15. #15


    Makes me very glad to hear these kinds of stories. Thanks for sharing.

  16. #16


    so you didn't stick it up her arse then?

    romantic mood killed stone dead, yeah baby!

  17. #17


    Great story, I bet it will help a lot of folks, thanks for sharing!

  18. #18
    Official Freak Bar Witch wiccanpony's Avatar
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    thanks for sharing ......... see the world is'nt going to hell in a basket, there is hope for mankind
    " So remember that, when they're beating your ass with a metal shovel while you're dressed as Little Bo Peep - it's not deviant...it's art.

  19. #19


    Quote Originally Posted by wiccanpony View Post
    thanks for sharing ......... see the world is'nt going to hell in a basket, there is hope for mankind
    For mankind, yes, for generalpoleaxe...not so much.

  20. #20
    Brushlicker noneedforaname's Avatar
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    Why not he has a beautiful sensitive soul, I've seen it, he keeps it looked in a cage and torments it with a cheese grater

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