Why \"SciFi\" Originals Suck.
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Thread: Why \"SciFi\" Originals Suck.

  1. #1

    Default Why \"SciFi\" Originals Suck.

    Okay, I\'ve had the bad fortune to watch SciFi Channel\'s \"Decoys\" because I was too lazy to change the channel, that was the start of the problem... watching it. EVERY SciFichannel picture has been absolute crap. This one was no exception. I\'ll save all of you the mind numbing 2 hours and sum up: these sorority girls are actually aliens that need to mate with humans to repopulate thier speicies, but need to do so in a cold climate (Namely Canada :rolleyes: ). These aliens try to sleep with college guys and end up killing them as a side effect, but they are afraid of the cold and they\'re trying to infiltrate our society....

    Now where have we Sci Fi watchers seen things like this before.. Oh, I don\'t know, maybe The Thing, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Species, and The Faculty.... This just goes to prove my point: Sci Fi channel comes up with these lame premises that take after summer blockbuster (which are no piece of cinematic gold to begin with) and try and show it on their channel.

    What is worse is that they KNOW it\'s going to be on thier channel exclusivly, but they like to write in things that\'ll never get on the air! How many time did I have to listen to Sh__! used for dramatic emphasis.. oh, he said half a bad word.. he must really be in trouble.. :P This also extends to the reach of nudity. Why the hell did they film naked breastses if they know they\'ll just have to hire someone to fuzz it out.. Speaking as a male, if you\'re going to show nudity, then do it and don\'t make it a big let down by blurring it (unless of course it\'s actually a worse let down SEEING the nudity..)

    Okay, that\'s my rant for the day. Lemme know your worst watch on SciFi.. or Sci Fi Movies in general.. whatver, I\'m not picky... On another note, I wonder if becoming an actor has made my criticisms on movies better or worse.... :P

  2. #2

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    Alright, so.. browsing the SciFi website, I see they\'re making a sequel to H.P. Lovecraft\'s Reanimator.... So, this\'ll either rock, or suck.. but frankly, I don\'t see how they can mess Lovecraft up.. that man gives me the creepies on his own... :P

  3. #3
    Brushlicker gohkm's Avatar
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    Worst SciFi one I saw was Spiders or something - a few poor sods stumbled through an experimental portal and wind up in an Earth dominated by some spider-freaks (like driders, although much less scarier).

    The premise was great, but the execution ... well, I wasted 2 hours watching it.

  4. #4
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    Yea i also had the displeasure of watching this film... pretty much all of the sci-fi moives i have seen have sucked. Dean Cain (i think thats his last name) the guy from the superman show... anyways.. he seems to have become one of the regulars on there now. Hes been in the dragon reborn movie, and the day after comet movie that came after recently (mind has blocked out real names) but yeah they were pretty bad as well. Sci-fi was a good channel... now all i watch is farscape (which is going down hill IMO too and stargate... will atlantis suck?)

  5. #5

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    Originally posted by Chrispy
    Alright, so.. browsing the SciFi website, I see they\'re making a sequel to H.P. Lovecraft\'s Reanimator.... So, this\'ll either rock, or suck.. but frankly, I don\'t see how they can mess Lovecraft up.. that man gives me the creepies on his own... :P
    Egad, two answers in one:
    How can they mess up Lovecraft?
    What\'s your worst Science Fiction movie watching experience?
    \"From Beyond\" - nifty short story based on the real fact that the Pineal gland in the back of our brains has photoreceptors even though no light gets there. Scientists stimulates the Pineal gland and now can \"see\" these other-dimensional beings: unfortunately for him now they can see him too! All I remember about the movie is hating it and the gross FX of the pineal gland actually popping out of peoples heads like a third eye on a stalk.

    Actually, I never saw Reanimator, but every other Lovecraft-based movie (I think there have been about 5) has sucked like a black hole through a straw.

    Don\'t have cable so can\'t comment on that channel, but I think I can answer that one too: why film things you can\'t air? Because showing the movie garners you nearly nothing but selling the unedited DVD is where the money comes from.

  6. #6

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    If you want a good Lovecraft film i suggest Dagon. I admit it probably isn\'t everyones cup of tea, but I love it!

    Shaz

  7. #7

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    The first Re-animator movie ruled the earth and is one of my favourite movies. Must be seen uncut though as it tends to get butchered otherwise.

    And Dagon is a great film too. Much less whimsical than Re-Animator and far more traditionally Lovecraftian. Not actually based on the story Dagon though, it\'s far closer to The Shadow over Innsmouth.

    There are two sequels to Re-Animator. Both worth a watch but not a patch on the first.

    Steve B

  8. #8

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    The thing with sci-fi is you know it\'s going to be bad most of the time, you just have to be in the mood for some cheese. Do you think Star Trek was on for a hundred years because it had realistic effects? Hell no. My mom and dad rent sci-fi flicks all the time and laugh all the way through. They have also read every book by Asimov, Heinlein, Frank Herbert, etc... They are just fun, like going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show or something. My favorites are Star Wars (of course), Event Horizon (scary), Krull (the cheesiest) and Starship Troopers (worst acting ever).

  9. #9

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    I recall watching The Pit and the Pendulum ages ago. Wasn\'t bad.

  10. #10
    Superfreak!!! Dragonsreach's Avatar
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    WORST SciFi movie ever And I mean worst: AURORA starring Christopher J Stapelton (who?) bought for less then a fiver (£5), its nearly 2 hours of men trudging through the desert of another planet. (That\'s it!)
    It\'s even worse than Val Kilmer & Red Planet. :|~

    I\'d put it up on Ebay to sell but I\'d probably have to pay someone to take it. :P

  11. #11

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    Well, if we\'re going by IMDB ratings, Aurora has to be the lowest mentioned (4.6).. it\'s too bad I can\'t find a \"Browse by Rating\" feature there. But I saw Decoys got a 5.5... but I also saw they\'re making a sequel... Who has the money to produce this shyte?!?!

    But we can\'t have a discussion of the worst movies without Plan 9 from Outer space (3.9).. the only thing is with that movie, it\'s so cheesy and bad, it becomes a comedy! I actually heard Bela Lugosi died while making it and they just got someone to put the cape over thier face for the rest of the movie.. Sheesh...

    Oh, speaking of actors dying doing their last movie that sucks, \"Street Fighter: the Movie\" has to be up there.. Poor, poor Raul Julia.. should\'ve known better than to go into a movie with Jean Claude VanDamme in it. And the fact most Game movies don\'t do well at all (Tomb Raider was the acception, but everyone went to see Angelina Jolie\'s computer enhanced badonkadonks. :P) should be reason enough. But the thing with that is, why see the movie when you cna play the game? I clocked over 90 hours in about every Final Fantasy game, making it about $0.55 per hour, why would I waste $10 to see a two hour movie!?.. The other question is why would I waste 90 hours playing a game, but I\'m sure you know the reason is the same I\'m typing this: too much free time. :P

    So, while browsing IMDB I\'ve come up with a list of crappy SciFi movies in no particular order:
    Plan 9 (reasons stated above)
    Masters of the Universe (Okay, it was cool when I was 5 in the 80\'s.. but then I had bad judgement)
    Encino Man (I\'m counting this as SciFi for the cryogenic reasons, but technically Paulie Shore movies are their own genre of crap)
    The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (A strip show and a gypsy who makes Dirty Peegs into Zombies.... right....)
    Zardoz (Shean Connery floating around in a giant head... understood nothing else of this drug induced 70\'s film..)
    And pretty much any game movie, movie starring Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude, Axel Rose or any other poser who shouldn\'t be in SciFi... :P

  12. #12

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    And tell me why you never mentioned attack of the killer tomatoes?

    BTW, a british film that can be classified as so bad its good, is I bought a vampire motorcycle (i think its called that, anyway!)

    Shaz

  13. #13

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    Or Killer Klowns from Outer Space for that matter.... :)

  14. #14

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    Worst movie ever?!- Starship Troopers 2-\"Hero of the Federation\".

  15. #15
    Superfreak!!! Dragonsreach's Avatar
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    Recently there was a Dire movie on SCI-Fi about aliens taking over the earth (wow that\'s novel) with Kim Catterall. I lasted 15 mins, before switching off.
    Acting capability of a lump of rotting oak and a script my 4 year old great niece could have improved on.
    In fact it was that bad I can\'t even remember what it was called. lol

    My wife\'s favourite Worst movie : \"Lost in Space\". She can\'t stand Heather Graham, and as for \"Joey\" being a Major... Gimme a break! lollol

  16. #16

    Default sci fi channel...

    I was pretty happy when our cable company decided to add SCI FI to the lineup.

    But after watching it a few times, I may have been better off with yet another HOME SHOPPING CHANNEL!

    I have yet to see anything on the SCI FI channel that has held my interest for over 10 or 15 minutes.

    :flame:

  17. #17

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    The only thing I\'ve watched on there from beginning to end were the Dune series that were made.

    Shaz

  18. #18

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    Plan 9 is indeed bad. The waist on the female vampire... sheesh. :rolleyes:

    No one has mentioned any Troma films as being particularly bad. Can\'t forget The Toxic Avenger or Class of Nuke\'Em High.

    Then there\'s Highlander 2... :|~

  19. #19

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    Now that last film is \'it that shall not be named\'. It was absolutely awful and had been blanked from my mind until this point. Thank you for reminding me - NOT!

    Shaz

  20. #20

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    i dont know what its called but i watched one of the Sci-Fi movies with a dragon and stuff...it was ok, and the dragon was nifty, i dont know what it was though, but do you guys know what im talking about?

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