Your colors seem to be in the right place, just a little bit too chunky. I think if you try for a smoother black and metal effect, and especially on the white, your painting has a lot of potential.
As many have said, try really really thin layers and build up the color, and for white use a base coat and do many thin layers going from base coat color and adding in slightly more white til pure white. Play around with paint consistency more, and just thin it down and thicken it up until you get a smooth coat on your model you are happy with.
I really like the work on the shoulderpad, and on the eyes. Once you master paint consistency, you have many of the skills you need to paint 6-quality stuff. I look forward to it ^^
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