Vey outstanding first attempt! I wish mine would of came out like that. If you want your battle damage to pop a bit more, instead of the first layer being boltgun (guessing) use Charadon Granite. Also you could mix a little rust (burnt umber) look in there as well, not much, just a touch. Also, thin your washes a little more and smooth out the transitions. Though, what you have makes them look very gritty which I like very much.
Your first painted mini is spectacular. Very painterly; and the green glow on the eyes is very deftly executed. I would love to see a whole squad like this.
That's a solid paint job for your first mini! Good job and nice montage. Drop a few pics in the discuss submissions forum and you'll get a ton of helpful advice :)