I really like the blue.Makes it different from all the cookiecutter blacktemplar stuff .Props for not being generic or thinking you have to copy the book!
The free hand is pretty good - especially the flag up front. However, the highlights seem too heavy and obvious, like they arent highlights at all. You should highlight in layers of blue rather than just using a single color. I would recommend greys for highlighting rather than blue though - first with a heavier brush of light black/dark grey, followed by grey, light grey, white. keep working and you'll improve!
all that blue doesnt make it look like a black templars predator. at first i thought it was some other chapter. either your tried to make it look holographic or its really overdone.
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