whats the worst thing you,ve laughed at and really, really shouldnt have

[Lettuce]

Recently was watching the vampire movie, Daybreakers. There is a scene where all the army vampires are destroying each other in a mass of gore and carnage. Blood was everywhere...

I was decking myself laughing at how ridiculous all the blood was, then got jabbed in the ribs by my partner....no one else was laughing..Whoops social faux pas

 

[exilesjjb]

@mike: both of those brought tears to my eyes

OK, might as well join in, this goes back to my high school days, when we lived in Geelong, (Australia). Across the road from where we live are a vast area of salt pans, Cheetham Saltworks, needless to say that the area is out of bounds to the public.
But being teenagers, who takes notice of "no trespassing" signs. So it's me, my brother, who's a year younger, and a mate of mine from school, who to say the least, was never one of the lucky ones. Here we are, we've been wandering around the place, avoiding the few staff we saw, for hours. It's beginning to get dark and we must be about a good hour and half from where we'd entered the place, and to top it off it starts to rain, so rather than head back the way we'd come, we decided to head straight back to a land mark we knew was close to our house, and it's raining harder. The area we've been walking along is about two to three feet wide, made from a clay like mud, with a steep slope down either side which is filled with water, and by now me and my brother are running as fast as possible and shouting at this other guy to keep up. And now it's raining even heavier, the kind of heavy where you have to squint to see where you are going. My brother is leading the way when,
...........and I'll finish when I get back from the doctors

:sinister:git I have to go out now how long can a doctors take...

 

[A Luna]

@CFW: thats actually one fun story Actually kinda cute too that you bought him that set

 

[mickc22]

Right then where was I.........Ah yes....
....my brother was leading the way, when all of a sudden he's stopped dead in his tracks! Ahead of us was a huge break in the dyke, which because we'd come a different way, we hadn't come across on the way out. There was no time to double back, the only thing we could do was go for it, bearing in mind the surface we were running on was by now considerably slippery. Mike, my friend was almost hysterical, not being what you'd call an athletic type, he was getting frantic! So we've been fully supportive and said, you can go back if you want, but we are gonna go for it! (no that's not the funny bit) Well, my brother went first, managed to clear the water by just under a foot! Then me, this was the biggest jump I'd ever attempted, and to be honest if it had been an open space rather than water I doubt I'd have gone for it, so back I go about 10 foot, run as hard as I can and leap for it....Yes! Made it by about six inches, I also had the advantage of my brother grabbing my arm as I landed.
Right, so now it's Mikes' turn, and again he get's in a flap, again we are full of encouragement, we actually were this time, but after several stalled attempts we are beginning to get just a little pi**ed off. So we say come now or we are going, we even offered to stand either side of the "landing zone" and grab him, but he refused, can't recall his reasoning, but he didn't want us there, OK we say, and back off. All the while it's still been pissing down, almost like those tropical storms you see on the movies, and everyone has to shout to be heard! Anyway, here I come he says, and sets off at a gangley rate of knots, gets to the take off point and leaps, and at about mid point of his flight, everything just seemed to slow down as we looked at were his projected landing point would be. Yes, he had cleared the water, so sorry if that's what you thought was gonna happen. Right between were his feet would make contact, about an inch from the waters edge and possibly the reason we hadn't noticed it till then, was this little twig growing out of the ground about three inches long, and yep his feet hit, slipped out from under him, and wham! he takes the whole three inches, that isn't the funniest bit, though. He never stops, the second his ass hits the ground he springs straight back up and continues running! Well that was it, we just collapsed in absolute uncontrollable fits of laughter, our sides were aching, we had tears streaming down our faces, all the while he's holding his ass, and saying it wasn't that funny. Ten minutes later we were finally able to continue on our way. But that is certainly one of our adventures I'll never forget, and yes we did get home without any further incident. I hope I painted a good enough picture and that there are several wet eyes in the audience.
I do have another story about him which is equally funny, which I'm happy to share later, if you so desire
:smile-big:

 

[cassar]

lets see.
i could tell you the one about the prostitute the roller skates and the cricket pads.
or the broken jaw, the window and water
or the hot chick, the on suite and the curry.


pick one..

 

[mickc22]

broken jaw

 

[Chrome]

I vote for the jaw as well, the other two sounds like they might be a bit much around here. XD

 

[TreManor]

Working on removing a large stretch of tile from a car park I accidentally broke teh support rods of a heavy duty broom. The head was not detached but it was unusable as the head woudl just swivel about instead of supportign the wieght. So I get pissed and half way wing the broom behind my back........ Only the head comes off the broom handle JUST befroe I let go and causes the handle to FLY up itno the air flipping end over end.

I am lookign up at teh handel and then I notice my helper walking casually, clueslessly along DIRECTLY underneath where the handle is goign to come down. I think oh HOLY SH*T! and shout Micheal LOOK OUT ! and I point above him. Now had he kept walking or jumped out of the way he would have been fine, btu what does he do?? He stops dead in his tracks and looks up, JUST at teh moment that the handle comes down and whacks him right across the bridge of the nose.

I literally almost pissed myself laughing.

I suppose in a way he was lucky he did look up as i wondeer what kind of damage that may have doen to his skull. Yikes!

 

[cassar]

yes they are chrome, any more votes for the broken jaw?

 

[cheelfy]

I was playing football at school and my girlfriend ran directly in the pole of the goals with the face first. I haven't been able not to laugh because all the others were also laughing. Then she broke...

 

[gohkm]

Worst thing I ever done was probably to laugh at that "promise me you'll go on" scene in Titanic at the cinema. I thought it was so overwrought and just so emotional - so I burst out laughing. Got dirty looks from everybody after that.

 

[Dedwrekka]

Worst thing I ever done was probably to laugh at that "promise me you'll go on" scene in Titanic at the cinema. I thought it was so overwrought and just so emotional - so I burst out laughing. Got dirty looks from everybody after that.

"I'll never let go!" 'Oh darn your dead' *blub blub* lol. Sorry, it's just so silly.

 

[evil tendencies]

Worst thing I ever done was probably to laugh at that "promise me you'll go on" scene in Titanic at the cinema. I thought it was so overwrought and just so emotional - so I burst out laughing. Got dirty looks from everybody after that.

The girl I was dating at the time was not impressed with my response to that "film" either.

In hindsight, my desire to keep seeing my girlfriend should have kept me from shouting a Homer Simpson "WOO HOO!" when Leo went under, but I knew I had scored a point when about four or five other guys (also there with their ladies) started laughing at my outburst too.

 

[uberdark]

i laughed at the end of schindlers list...i was literally filled with such torment the only thing i could do was laugh out loud....i was with my mom and grandma who was 79....and my mom's jewish friend..... eeeshh...i felt really bad."

 

[cassar]

the broken jaw

whilst doing a live firing exercise in a cqcr my best friend, known here after as "k" was shot in the face, the round caught him on the chin breaking his jaw and folding the front four teeth and the bone they were in flat over his tongue. thats not the funny part, the shock of this propelled him backwards out of the window and down the grass bank and into a 7 foot ditch filled with icy water. at first we thought the worst that he was potato bread, that is until we heard the splash and resultant squeels of "f*&kme my teef my teef," his pronunciation was slightly off. i was first to look over the window sill down at "k" his face cover'd in blood floundering up to his neck in icy muddy water complete with weeds etc, it was then that i burst out laughing, along with everyone else i might add. the snickering didnt stop there we pulled him out like a drowned rat, and because he was my best mate and probably because i was laughing the most i got the job of casivac'ing him to hospital. the poor sodd was in agony, he wasnt the only one if you've ever tried not to laugh for a prolonged period of time you'll know what i mean. upon arrival at hospital
the maxiphilo doc turned up, a spotty youth still wearing what looked like a school uniform (not confidence inspiring). he then proceeded to work on "k" the amount of novacaine injected into his lower face was astounding and ultimatly ineffective every tooth replaced made a loud click and resulted in both of "k's" legs shooting straight up in the air. the pressure was too much i collapsed into the next bay in a fit of gut busting hysteria. having composed myself after several minutes i looked around the curtain , the maxiphilo had by now moved onto internal stitches, strangely enough this had the same effect on "k's" legs, several more minutes later, i again returned to find that the maxiphilo was refusing to finish off the external stitches as the novacaine had worn off and he had no more serets left!!! also "k" had punched him in the nuts by this stage and was threatening to "hill ve libble bathterd" whilst being held down by the nurses, i have to say i cried...i need a break, he made a full recovery and you can only see a small scar.

oops almost forgot all his food everything had to be liquidised and taken through a straw for over a month, apparently chicken doesnt taste anything like chicken once its been through a blender.

 

[Farin]

@cassar: glad to hear your mate made a full recovery, now i dont have to feel too bad for laughing so hard while reading through your post

letś see what i got..

the titanic thing, the whole drowning scene - i had the same problem as uberdark , i laughed my ass of - i had never seen such a ridicously overplayed scene before - plus i really don like DeCaprio, so when he was babbling on and on how much he loved her, i yelled :"Come on , die you sucker" - not my best moment.

and then there was the whole incident with my overweight classmate

Back in high school we had that one girl. She was very small (maybe 5 feet ) and , let me be blunt, fat. Unfortunately she liked wearing one of these slightly translucent black blouses in summer, which wasnt a very nice sight, trust me.
However, one monday were all sitting in biology class, watching a movie about vaccines. Of cause there was a scene where the camera zooms really close to the needle as it breaks through the skin and then, a a big drop of blood could be seen. In that moment i hear somebody moaning, so i turn arround and see this girl fainting.
But she didn just faint - imagine how a bad actress faints in a movie: arms waving, eyes turning, a sligjt groan ,... - the first 3 seconds i thought it was some kind of prank, but then she collapsed, fell of her chair and droped to the floor , unconcious, her head missed the desk behind her by an inch . Needless to say that every guy in the room is laughing his head of ( including me of cause ), while the teacher is swooping in, ready to give cpr. Luckily,she´ś breathing, and wakes up after half a minute, declaring that she´s fine and that she wwas just having a low blood sugar...

So one week later, same biology class, yet another video, there comes the blood and again she faints - only this time i caught the entire show because she was sitting right in front of me - she sees the blood, her eyes turn white, her mouth opens like a fish on dry land. We laughed so hard , i still can´t believe i was able to stop.
oh and she never admitted that it was the blood - she claimed it was low blood sugar again, even so everone knew that she wasn´t diabetic.

After i finished high school , i met an old class mate, and everntually we talked about that girl. apparently
She just had started the training to become a dental assistant. I hope somebody filmed her first root canal.

 

[Shawn R. L.]

My dad owned a sheet metal shop and since I was knee high to a grasshopper I knew about soldering, and safety. Me and my brother would go with dad to the shop and screw around on our own. I was behind the old 10' shear and noticed one of the welder's kids, who was older than me and looked to be a tough guy, getting ready to solder something. The soldering setup was a burner with a 5 gallon propane tank underneath the table.

I was old enough to know what was going to happen, but young and shy enough to not say anything.

So he turns on the gas, both at the tank and the burner, THEN starts going through multiple pockets looking for matches to light it with. : ) I'm thinking - 'this is gonna be cool!!' Well, he found the matches all right. Lit one and WOOSH!! there's a bit of a fireball and it blew his hair back a bit, startled him, and left me entertained!:guitar:

 

[SciFry]

Well about ten years ago I installed windows for a company and a few of my childhood freinds worked there as well. One day while finishing up a job I approached my formen to tell him that all the tools that were not needed anymore were in the truck packed and ready to go. mind you we are on the second floor he is finishing up a window.So he tells me to get my Buddy Sal and clean up outside. So I ask him where is sal?before I could finish the sentence A body flies by the window.well needless to say it was Sal thank god for bushes although he did break his wrist When I ran down to see if he was ok and he was sitting up with a look of horror on his face I laughed harder then I think I ever have.when my formen got there took him a little long he was a big guy I said never mind I found him we both laughed even harder all the way to the hospital.Sal did not laugh till the next day.

 

[TAB Studio]

We had our great Dane rex, he was a pup and each time the kids would go to visit the father he would destroy something of theirs. Normally something of Becca’s but this time he chose Stefen’s room.
I did not notice but when coming to dinner Stefen who was about 7 brought to me while crying, a little 3-inch tall action figure of Jesus, I had never seen it but he explained that he had gotten it at school and he loved it quite a bit. The toy had been destroyed; you can imagine a Dane vs. a 3-inch plastic toy.

I was pretty good at fixing the things Rex got to so Stefen looked at me with tears streaming and asked if I could fix it. I took the toy and looked at how Jesus had been put together….he was in a one piece muslin robe outfit and it seemed there was a band type set up at the joints to allow flex when he was played with.

I lifted the Jesus’ robe to see if I could fix the legs, little awkward but, OK, I saw Jesus was wearing whitety-tightys…I died …my son is crying and I bust out laughing and blurt the fact he has tight undies on to try to explain my outburst to the family. Stefen looked at me in horror. I laughed till I cried and he was pissed and crying he was not amused but I could not stop.
I had to leave the table and when I came back after collecting myself and went to lovingly repair the toy…I lost it again I felt so dirty but damn if I could stop.
I know to Stefen I was the worst mom ever I felt it too.
Stefen, even though now he understands he still gives me that you were so inappropriate look, and I still laugh my ass off thinking about it.

 

[Shawn R. L.]

@evil tendencies I see you're in Central California. I'm up in Sonoma County. Where about's are you?