How to deal with stress/anxiety...

[noneedforaname]

Break stuff

Screw women

Drink booze

Set fire to/detonate things

Piss off anyone/everyone

Seems to work for me but then I am special

 

[Trevor]

It has been shown that if you exercise in the morning, it helps you sleep and you get 75% more REM sleep.

 

[airhead]

The biggest and hardest thing is to leave work at work.

Don't bring it home with you.
We're all guilty of having a bad day and then coming home and taking it out on the spouse/kids. Then you feel even worse and the spiral starts.

Lots of ways have been mentioned:
Paint
Play
Exercise
Spend time with family
Watch diet
Get plenty of rest

I'll add:
Go do something different. Fish, hunt, hike, either with family or friends.

Once you master this learning curve, you'll relax at your job and life will get normal again (whatever that is.)

 

[Chern Ann]

Stress for me comes when I seek to control things that I can't control; the corollary is that for the things that I can, I work extra hard to make sure they do not get out of control.

For acts of god or bad luck, or even your own mistakes, it's important to step back a little, identify the best possible outcome given the resources at hand, and work towards that. Dwelling on how you got in the mess in the first place is an additional stressor and is analysis that is best left to when you have more peace of mind.

If you're working for the person who hired you, it's a good idea to ask for help directly from that person, since they have a vested interest in your success in your position (i.e. if you do well, they look like good managers, and vice versa).

 

[RuneBrush]

DR has made the most critical point and it's one I've said for years - "We go to work only for the money" anything else (job satisfaction, work enjoyment, etc) is a bonus. I find keeping that in mind helps me to make sure that I don't put too much in (which then becomes expected).

Don't become reliant on some other substance - I'm a coffee and sugar fiend when I have a high pressure project at work and have to consciously reel myself back in else I know I will end up dependant on it. The same will apply with smoking, drinking, drugs (both prescribed and illegal), they only mask the problem not help. Chai latte is awesome stuff and I would recommend it if you like cinnamon and want a hot drink

Deep breath and count to ten - I used to work for a manager who made me so frustrated it was beyond belief, I learned that if I thought I was going to blow (or lump the twat) I'd remove myself and take a real deep breath and hold it for a long count of ten. More than once if I needed to.

Get a massage - Seriously a nice head and shoulder massage will make you feel a million dollars if you're comfortable with it - or a full back massage is amazing to release the tension. Alternatively (or additionally) a shitatsu massage chair pad is worth it's weight in gold.

Make sure you take the weekend off - chill as best you can, do NOT do anything that is remotely related to what you do at work. Some people with high stress jobs don't sleep much during the week and their bodies can handle it if they get to recharge over the weekend - you might be the same, but only you can find that out

pete

 

[me_in_japan]

*edit* warning: moany whinge below. Feel free to skip past it to Pegazus's helpful comments, next post down

Not wishing to hijack or derail this thread or anything, and I hope this is on-topic enough for folks, but seeing as how Supervike has opened up this particular can of worms, I was wondering if anybody had any advice for me about dealing with this situation...

I'm a teacher in a private school. I work 6 or 7 days a week, 11 or so hours a day. Within my working day i have zero spare time. I mean, I have about 10 minutes to eat my lunch, if I'm lucky. Other than that I am constantly on the go. Coaching kids for speech contests, running club, endless strings of meetings for various commitees, grading stuff (gawd that takes ages...) and occasionally actually doing my job and teaching English (ok, thats about 4 hrs a day.) What with the need for me to take in and grade students' work and so on, I actually accumulate more work over the day than I have time to do, unless I stay at the office until 9, 10 pm, which I dont want to do, as it's not like this is a particularly busy time of year. It's just, yknow, average. The upshot of this is that by the end of the week I need to bring home all the accumulated grading and spend all weekend marking it. The trouble is I work in a country where the expected norm is to dedicate yourself 110% to your job. Men, particularly, are expected to have very little to do with their familes, so spending 11hrs a day at work elicits a reaction of "yeah, and? whats the problem? I'm here for 14. You wanna go home? I mean, why? What would you do there?" I kid you not - my wife actually got this reaction when she said she was looking forward to the weekend, one time. (she's a teacher, too. different school, tho.)

So: I'm knackered from work. When I get home I'm too tired to do anything. My boss thinks I should really be working harder and doesnt understand why I want to come home.

What do do? How do I deal with this? (other than leave the country. Not really an option - the UK job situation aint great, and besides, my wife is pregnant and there are lots of other things I really like about life here.)

It's all a bit of a sticky wicket, tbh...

 

[PegaZus]

the words

You're in Japan. You're f*k'd. It's one of the reasons my wife is glad she's here. She actually gets to see her husband on weekdays. She cringes every time she thinks about what she'd be doing today if she never left.

Now for serious suggestions. Hopefully you've got a bit of leeway. Maybe make the students grade the papers first? Have it as either in-school work or homework, but shuffle the papers around and have the students do a first pass at finding the errors. (insert evil sensei laugh here).

The other suggestions I had reading your post wouldn't work. They all depend on a different mindset than a Japanese grinder, er, I mean school system. About the only thing I can think of us to try to make the grading easier.

 

[me_in_japan]

Cheers Pegazus

Actually, about half an hour after I posted I now think I should just delete it as it's nowt but a moany whinge. But, since you've been nice enough to respond to it, I kinda feel compelled to leave it, cos if I take it down your post will look like you just went mad and hallucinated a moany post about life in Japan

Ach, what it boils down to is: yes, life here is not how I want it to be, but let's face it, nobody made me move here. Naebdy's fault but my own. I just need to find ways to work the system to bring it all crashing down from within :male-fighter2: . And besides, outside of work I do really like it here. Folks are polite, iphones are free, the weather in winter is beautiful and sunny, and (bizarrely) the curry is phenomenal.

 

[Sand Rat]

Gaming helps.


So does Zoloft.

 

[Tommie Soule]

in your own time;
relax (have fun) and retain a sense of duty (to yourself and family)
exercise lots (to calm mind),
eat well (to get lots of carbs, iron to aid sleep. broccolli is ace),
Sleep well (the best medicine my doc ever prescribed was a massive bowl of hot rice pudding just before bed (and i don't trust doctors) this was awesome).

In work time;
prioritise (obviously),
organise (break stuff down and create a list with tick boxes in priority order)
relax tho retain a sense of duty and then.......
JFDI (just fucking do it)



all these things will work together in an upwards and positive spiral for you IF you apply even just one! apply them all and you will see a massive improvement Mr Vikey.
This is my method and i'm awesome!!! (saved me from death btw)

I would say good luck but all these require very little of it.
you are a dude and help me out on here.

Go win it!!!

T

 

[mud duck]

@MiJ, I think that zus' idea of having the kid grade their classmates papers may not be to bad of an idea.
That or my idea (and one of the reason I think that I would teach English), is have a "How to speak Minnesotan" day once every couple of weeks. It's and idea and on my bucket list to have/hear a class of non English speakers repeating the lines "Awe sure, you betcha." and "Ufta." That and maybe a couple Texan, some Califorian, and maybe some deep South for fun. :smile-big:

 

[Farnesio]

I honestly can´t think of myself working 11 hours a day. I would leave that job (or country) in days.

I work for living, but I do not live for my job.

Read all that advices that include:

- Exercising...it is a scientific fact that exercise controls the stress hormones (mainly "cortisol" ). Do it at least 4 days a week. Keep some rest days. Choose the one you like more (running, swimming, gym are good options). Take it as a daily routine, do not miss one day.

- Watch your diet (eat healthy, giving yourself 1 or 2 cheat meals a week, better not being dinners)

- Sleep 7-8 hours a day. No excuses here too.


These 3 changes will help a lot.

On the other side of things, try to organize your job and always have some time daily for your hobbies (1 hour painting, for example, reading, etc).

 

[waghorn41]

Well I used to get a lot of stress at work which I then brought home - both stress AND work. I realised where I was going wrong, I was worrying!
No point in worrying, if you worry and it doesn't go wrong all that nervous energy for nothing. If it does go wrong, step back and appraise the situation and plan a recovery. Be part of the solution, not the problem.

Lots of good advice has been given by others:
Speak to your boss, accept your limitations and that they are only temporary while you settle in - others before you will have had to do the same.
Realise that everybody else does not know or have the answer to everything - even if they want you to think they do.
Leave work behind the office door and keep it closed until you go in the next day.
Find something you like to dothat's not work related or influenced - relax and chill in your own space.
Every new job is a learning curve, every journey however long begins with a single step.

 

[mauler78]

OH this is a good one, since by the time I come home from work I am normally ready to punch small farm animals.

Painting is my first option for de-stress, lets me think about things completely unrelated to my job and the world around me.

Option 2 would be to give in to the dark side, and play games with extreme levels of violence and prejudice. Slaughtering of aliens from distance worlds always seems to improve me mood. Plus I imagine them all wearing shirts with my company logo

I guess if all that fails, then a nap. Sleep seems to help problems shed away at least for a while.

 

[PegaZus]

Option 2 would be to give in to the dark side, and play games with extreme levels of violence and prejudice. Slaughtering of aliens from distance worlds always seems to improve me mood.

Destroy All Humans is wonderful for this.

 

[mauler78]

Destroy All Humans is wonderful for this.

Not a huge fan of that game.

Actually, Gears of War 3 and World of Tanks is where I am at now.

 

[ischa]

let´s not hijack this thread with gaming speak especially since it´s a scientific fact that gaming or computer screens in general are horribly bad for people with stress or anxiety!

 

[supervike]

Now, in addition to my unrational anxiety, I'm getting panic attacks.

I'm trying to cope, but damn it's tough.

Thanks for all the suggestions, I've been doing many of them (including Gears of War 3)...

 

[mauler78]

let´s not hijack this thread with gaming speak especially since it´s a scientific fact that gaming or computer screens in general are horribly bad for people with stress or anxiety!

"science fact" is being proven wrong all the time.

Honestly, you just have to find that thing that give you the greatest amount of Zen. Sometimes just sitting and being still in a quiet place can do it, let you mind fold in on itself think about abstract things, push out the thoughts of work, your day, life in general; and think about colors, sounds, other more basic sensations...this may sound a bit cheezy but you would be amazed if you use this regularly how much well balanced your day can be.

 

[me_in_japan]

Thanks for the advice, folks, and apologies for the slight thread derailment. *kowtows*

When I teach pronunciation I do make a point of always teaching them both the textbook (american) pron, as well as the UK equivalent, and I sometimes even throw in my local Glasgow (south side) version, just to see how they cope with glottal stops One day, instead of

"good morning everyone (good morning Mr. B~) How are you today (I'm fine thank you, and you?) I'm fine thank you, please sit down."

I'm gonna teach em

"mornin' folks, howzi' gawn? (aye, nae bad boss, nae bad - yersel?) och aye, nae bad, righ', si' doon and take the weigh' aff yer feet."

Ach well, I can dream

Incidentally, I'm surprised nobody has recommended this for stress relief: read a book. Takes your mind out of the here-and-now, and doesnt blither your eyeballs like video games do. Depending on the book, it can be quite relaxing. I'm reading China Mieville just now, and have been chain reading em one after another. I'd definitely recommend this chap. Perdido Street Station is a good place to start. Steampunky, but very original and not really like much else I've read.