Harry Potter Spoilers!

[vincegamer]

Okay, let em rip!

 

[Legacy Account]

Harry has a bastard love-child with Zoe Wanamaker and has to get a proper job to keep the Child Support Agency off his back.

He has to auction his budgie and magic stick.

 

[No Such Agency]

Harry\'s uncle reports him as a member of Al-Qaeda and he\'s shipped off to Syria for interrogation. Hermione rescues him but her \"Illuminatus\" spell is mistaken for a tactical nuclear warhead and she inadvertently starts World War 3.

 

[Klute]

Harry discovers that he is asexuall and promptly falls in love with that gay Snape Rickman guy.They have a love child who turns out to be that ginger kids pet rat who in fact turns out to be Zoe Wanamanawanamanamaker.The rat/Zoe chews Harrys wand and turns into a troll thing that eats BumbleBore and throws up into the HedgeWorts water supply.Everyone turns into rats and have a great big rat love in which is the basis of the next 10 books by JK \"Ripoff\" Rowley.Where she goes on a quest to find more stories to plagerise cos she has already ripped off every piece of fantasy lierature known to man and turned them into a money spinning pile of shite.

EDIT
Disclaimer.....no offense was meant to anyone who is stupid enough to spend money on this rubbish just becuase they have been told it is good and want to be in with the in crowd.

 

[Shawn R. L.]

You will read the phrase: \"Harry, I\'m your father\".

 

[Legacy Account]

Bloody hell Mark! You hate Barry Trotter (Harry\'s East End half brother. Makes a living out of wheeling and dealing in ponys and monkeys...) more than I do!

 

[Klute]

I dont hate it I just dont like it.Especially with all the hype.
Maybe the problem is I read Tolkien just before our lass tried the first Harry Potter on me.Showed how crap it really is.I think I got a couple of chapters done and had to give up.
Fair enough its probably a good kids book but grown adults running around kicking and screaming for it.....3 words


Electric shock treatment.

 

[philologus]

@Klute: Get ready pal; the excrement just hit the fan. You\'re going to get tons of hatemail. You just slandered the holy book. It would have been safer to badmouth the bible.

 

[Legacy Account]

Couldn\'t agree more Mark!

I won\'t even comment on the films.

*Searches for \'pile of excrement\' smiley*

 

[Minigrrrl]

rowling will not write any more childrens books after the Potter series, but concentrate on books with \'adult\' content? heh, if only....

 

[Klute]

She wrote them

I thought she copy/pasted the chapters from various other works of literature.

Beano/Dandy/Viz........ok maybe not Viz.

:flame:KLUTE

 

[freakinacage]

Originally posted by No Such Agency
Harry\'s uncle reports him as a member of Al-Qaeda

the whole school is a training ground for extremists - look at all those impressive beards!! dodgy

 

[Infidel Castro]

The next book:

Harry, by now a washed-up daytime TV presenter, gets shagged up the arse my Alan Titchmarsh and Bill Oddie in a garden shed. He takes his own life as he hits rock bottom, selfishly taking out the whole school with him shortly after a poorly conceived publicity stunt with Peter Andre and his big-titted ladyfriend Jordan.

Harry Potter and the Bum Sex Twitcher Suicides.

 

[Dr Death]

I suppose it never was supposed to be a \"family\" board

Dr Death

 

[Legacy Account]

Young kids shouldn\'t be using forums anyway.

Most kids I\'ve dealt with would put the language/subject matter on this site to shame...

 

[darthfoley]

Thank you, vince, for at least trying to start a thread where those who appreciate these books could discuss them.

It was doomed to failure, of course...but nice attempt.

 

[Legacy Account]

What d\'you mean? You already got one!

This one is called \'Harry Potter Spoilers!\'

So we spoilt it!

 

[Klute]

I just spoiled my kecks.

 

[LavronYor]

Here is a spoiler, A big ham sitting outside in 95 degree heat ( 37C for the civilized world) for three hours. ( 25 dog minutes ).

Howz that? Oh, and Dingleberry gets killed by *&^$$#