My red fish has died ...
- Thread starter frenchkid
- Start date
I for one reply to these posts sometimes because I can feel for the person, and what they are going through.
I dont think they are looking for sympathy, they are trying to express their need to find sense, understanding in something that is totally mindblowing, and devistating for them.
As a family of sorts, which is what I believe we are here on CMON, should we not try to help others in need, if not whats the point.
I think I\'m referring to life in general here, I do have within me a compassion to try and help people that are in need, it is a natural thing for me to do. We have all had a taste of life, young and old, we are certainly not shrinks, but do have life experience, which in many cases is good enough to see our friends through some situations.
It is for each person to decide if they want to reply to these posts, I also think that if one does not thats fine too, but to belittle it, that I do not understand........
I dont think they are looking for sympathy, they are trying to express their need to find sense, understanding in something that is totally mindblowing, and devistating for them.
As a family of sorts, which is what I believe we are here on CMON, should we not try to help others in need, if not whats the point.
I think I\'m referring to life in general here, I do have within me a compassion to try and help people that are in need, it is a natural thing for me to do. We have all had a taste of life, young and old, we are certainly not shrinks, but do have life experience, which in many cases is good enough to see our friends through some situations.
It is for each person to decide if they want to reply to these posts, I also think that if one does not thats fine too, but to belittle it, that I do not understand........
Shawn R. L.
New member
I have never met anyone nor do I expect to ever meet anyone, in person, from here. I have no big emotional investment here. But....when, a few months ago I posted a thing about my dad\'s progressing Altimerz I sobbed like I hadent before or after. It may be that what you can express in the typed word is more concise and the audience is at a distance gives a sense of saftey. SOMEONE hears about my grief.
My dad dosent even know my name now..............
My dad dosent even know my name now..............
beowulfthehunter
New member
Ok on the Privateer Press (Warmachine Forums) I am a jerk and proud of it. I have insulted everyone based on numerous reasons ranging from disability to race, to education. Heck I even started the Porch Monkey 4 Life thead(funny if you have seen Clerks 2). Here is the thing. I make jokes and pick on those when I think there might be an audience to listen and laugh at it.
This type of joke, or discussion, whatever you want to call it does not have an audience here. Not even from those who would consider themselves the jerks of the forums. You owe everyone an appology for you ignorance.
This type of joke, or discussion, whatever you want to call it does not have an audience here. Not even from those who would consider themselves the jerks of the forums. You owe everyone an appology for you ignorance.
desertdragon1964
New member
Well I just finished reading all of these post and so therefore I will be blunt as I am known to be by those who do know me personally.For those who have given their condolances and prayers to Onis Lair and myself thank you from the bottom of our souls.And to those who dont care or understand I hope your lives are never bothered by something as saddening as losing a parent, however that will be highly unlikly as death is a part of life we cannot escape.So if I am not around then ,I send you my condolances now.If you are that bitter or inpaitent now I am assured your losses will be felt deep then.Though I dont know the people here on CMON personally, they have been kind to me and mine even when those I call family and friends on more than one occasion (including this one) have shunned or even ignored the pain that has been felt in my immediate family.Arthur I dont hold any greivence towards you for your, comments no matter how rude they may appear on the surface.Again thank you to those I call my internet friends for all you have said and done on my behalf and on the behalf of Onis Lair thank you very much and moderators I personally believe it is time to put this thread to R.I.P. thanks to all.Desertdragon (Don Moore)
Avelorn
Sven Jonsson
Have you ever told your lifes story to a stranger? This is a bit like the same thing but we both share something similar as well as being distant to each other. I do care for people on this forum in a way I have a hard time explaining. I recon the bonds between us in this forum is exactly what some needs to be able to talk about difficult stuff and able to accept the right kind of sympathy. Whatever helps I say.
freakinacage
Well-known member
although i don\'t agree with him on this, i can at least understand what he is on about. it does somethimes seem pointless to reply to these threads because there is only so much oyu can say and it seems so cold in just black and white (smilies don\'t relly help here). also, having not lost anyone close for some time i can\'t understand why someone would want to share this sort of news online like that. ultimately though, i can\'t really say what i\'ll feel like until i get there, which will hopefully be for some time. and if people feel a little bit better, what harm can it do. share the love people
DrEvilmonki
Active member
The simple answer is that some people regard others on this site as friends. In fact many have met each other in person also.
While I have not met any of you in the flesh I have spent more time here in the lasdt year than I have going over to my mates place. I have seen much of your work and read many of your views (both profound and pointless).
For myself I would miss CMON if it was gone and in the end that is because of the people who partake of this community.
It is because of this that I want to hear when things are not good, to offer support even if it is only moral (I\'m a bit far away to offer an actual shoulder to cry on).
If you don\'t care what happens to others on this site then don\'t read the threads!
While I have not met any of you in the flesh I have spent more time here in the lasdt year than I have going over to my mates place. I have seen much of your work and read many of your views (both profound and pointless).
For myself I would miss CMON if it was gone and in the end that is because of the people who partake of this community.
It is because of this that I want to hear when things are not good, to offer support even if it is only moral (I\'m a bit far away to offer an actual shoulder to cry on).
If you don\'t care what happens to others on this site then don\'t read the threads!
Infidel Castro
New member
What would you suggest? Should we all pop over and pad the post to take it ahead of this one? For my part I agree with what FK says in the main, though his timing was bad. On the thread referred to from Ainu I told him what my thoughts were, that such emotions can\'t be appreciated by people over the web and he should look to his own circle of friends for what he needs, not people he doesn\'t know. I hope that wasn\'t badly received by him because that was not the intention. Of course it\'s the biggest shitter in the world, but I couldn\'t post something like that on this site as it just ain\'t other folk\'s business. I\'m not going to castigate FK for this - he actually sums up what a lot of people think but probably wouldn\'t make known around here.
Dammekkos nails it in his post, as does the ever straight-forward Klute. Can\'t fault their words. I try not to read the dead threads these days (especially the pointless celebrity ones) unless it\'s someone I feel I can equate to. I just haven\'t got that much emotion to give out. Like Klute says, the princess Di thing started a horrible trend in the UK. At the same time she snuffed it Mother Theresa passed away and had naff all coverage compared to some bulimic neurotic member of the royal family. Ridiculous. I think the internet makes this kind of phenomenon even worse. Mass mourning of people who have never affected us in any particular way is just ridiculous and insincere.
Look to the people who matter in times of loss.
DrEvilmonki
Active member
ANd yet with those sentiments you really nail it on the head. If you don\'t feel any connection to the people post don\'t read it! However to assume that no one else should care as well is just obnoxious and that is really what FK seemed to be saying. \"I don\'t care so how dare you post something that I don\'t care about\".
Avelorn
Sven Jonsson
@reverend: while I agree on the mass- mourning thing. I don\'t think you should tell people what and whom they can empathize with. Without saying too much, events in this past 2 years makes me understand the crippeling feeling - that your loved ones can and will be taken from you in a blink of an eye. You see we don\'t in general really express our grief with that a specific person has died but our understanding that someone is going through a hard time. The words of someone who isn\'t as close to us as our friends and relatives are often easier to accept as they aren\'t tied to our history in the same way. They can look at it with fresh eyes and that can be very helping. Wheter it is a divorce or the death of a family member.
For those interested in socialpsychology (what I study), Georg Simmel has written about it in his essay \"the stranger\"
@Drevilmonki: precisely.
For those interested in socialpsychology (what I study), Georg Simmel has written about it in his essay \"the stranger\"
@Drevilmonki: precisely.
Infidel Castro
New member
I don\'t think I did. I was just giving my opinion chap, that\'s all.
There are people I consider to be decent acquaintances on this site, but if I was to respond to every mourning thread with \'I\'m so sorry about your loss\' then I would probably be insincere in so doing as most of the people on the site here are just people with a nickname and an avatar. I can have a laugh and a joke and an argument with everyone but it doesn\'t mean i can understand their loss and circumstances when they lose a family member or close friend. Aye, I can understand how bad a thing that is and respond to it but in all fairness I\'m not experiencing it so I can\'t say anything that matters. That\'s just reality. If I can\'t truly say I\'m deeply affected by someone else\'s loss how can I say something without it being insincere? If I could feel genuine emotion all the time when such issues arise, I\'d probably consider myself over-sensitive and even melodramatic.
I am, as far as it goes, a loving caring person - I just can\'t extend that to such a postition that brings me to genuinely share people\'s pain. That seems silly. False and silly.
Infidel Castro
New member
Aye, true enough. As I said, my opinion is my opinion, not everyone else\'s. I can\'t speak for any other person on this site, and nor should I expect to.
Avelorn
Sven Jonsson
Well I think we can agree from what you said now. You shouldn\'t feel forced to write anything and being insincere. But on the other hand a word to someone in pain doesn\'t have to be \"I share your sorrow as if it was my own\". it can be \"sound like you\'re having a rough time, old chap. Hope you make it through\" (bad reverend impression) Or anything less pretentious.
No Such Agency
New member
I see your point, but I consider a lot of people here to be friends, in that peculiar never-actually-met-them internet way. If I\'m dealing with a bad time I\'d rather share my feelings with some of you guys, than go on some dealing-with-grief forum of whatever where people may have more specifically constructive advice for me, but they\'re strangers, not a community of people that I\'ve grown attached to over the course of several years.
I can sort of see why FK posted his gripe, it was a little insensitive but in some way he has a point that there\'s a lot of emotional exhibitionism surrounding death in our culture(s) right now, and I guess he doesn\'t want it to infect his favorite forums. But I don\'t begrudge anyone here telling us about a personal tragedy, we are basically a good bunch and if you are even a little my friend, why shouldn\'t I send a kind word to you, even if I didn\'t know the person who passed away.
I rarely post in those threads, for basically the same reason as Reverend stated, but sometimes I do and then it\'s just with that intention (without the bad Reverend impression, though
). The threads don\'t bother me and if the person posting them think it\'s important there\'s no problem, is there? The \"obscure celebrity has died\" posts seem fairly pointless to me, but I just ignore them. Maybe they are important to those who post them?
Infidel Castro
New member
Again, I can\'t argue with that sentiment. Good call.
Good post!
Well said...However, I don\'t feel it is appropriate to close this thread as locking/deleting threads is something that happens on other sites as far as I am concerned, unless they are completely outrageous.
To my mind, it is the ability of the CMON community to discuss difficult and challenging issues that makes this site special and a place where people feel they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings. If the mods were to close threads whenever a difficult topic came up, as they do on most sites, I feel we would ultimately lose something as a community. A community is easy to maintain in the easy times, it\'s weathering the hard times that forms the real cement. Hope that makes sense to everyone?
Originally posted by desertdragon1964
Well I just finished reading all of these post and so therefore I will be blunt as I am known to be by those who do know me personally.For those who have given their condolances and prayers to Onis Lair and myself thank you from the bottom of our souls.And to those who dont care or understand I hope your lives are never bothered by something as saddening as losing a parent, however that will be highly unlikly as death is a part of life we cannot escape.So if I am not around then ,I send you my condolances now.If you are that bitter or inpaitent now I am assured your losses will be felt deep then.Though I dont know the people here on CMON personally, they have been kind to me and mine even when those I call family and friends on more than one occasion (including this one) have shunned or even ignored the pain that has been felt in my immediate family.Arthur I dont hold any greivence towards you for your, comments no matter how rude they may appear on the surface.Again thank you to those I call my internet friends for all you have said and done on my behalf and on the behalf of Onis Lair thank you very much and moderators I personally believe it is time to put this thread to R.I.P. thanks to all.Desertdragon (Don Moore)
Well said...However, I don\'t feel it is appropriate to close this thread as locking/deleting threads is something that happens on other sites as far as I am concerned, unless they are completely outrageous.
To my mind, it is the ability of the CMON community to discuss difficult and challenging issues that makes this site special and a place where people feel they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings. If the mods were to close threads whenever a difficult topic came up, as they do on most sites, I feel we would ultimately lose something as a community. A community is easy to maintain in the easy times, it\'s weathering the hard times that forms the real cement. Hope that makes sense to everyone?
airhead
Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
Finn, well said. I can think of only 2 or 3 threads that were locked here. And we have talked about a LOT of issues - religion, politics, gun control, etc.
We don\'t agree, but the personal attacks are kept to a minimum. Most of us are of the age that we can agree to disagree as well.
I\'ve put my foot into it on a thread once myself. Got called to task on it (rightly so) as well and deleted the thread myself.
This one has wondered off of \"lash Arthur\" to a more general discussion, so I am finding it interesting.
BACK ON TOPIC:
I do not want to come here and read obituaries every day, but if someone is hurting over the pain of a loss, and feels that posting that will help them here, I\'ll lend a shoulder.
If some leader/insperation of our hobby passes, it is nice to know.
We don\'t agree, but the personal attacks are kept to a minimum. Most of us are of the age that we can agree to disagree as well.
I\'ve put my foot into it on a thread once myself. Got called to task on it (rightly so) as well and deleted the thread myself.
This one has wondered off of \"lash Arthur\" to a more general discussion, so I am finding it interesting.
BACK ON TOPIC:
I do not want to come here and read obituaries every day, but if someone is hurting over the pain of a loss, and feels that posting that will help them here, I\'ll lend a shoulder.
If some leader/insperation of our hobby passes, it is nice to know.
