Top 10 Reasons There Is No God

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vincegamer

Active member
10. Barney the Dinosaur
09. Liver and Onions
08. Tofurkey
07. Wedgies
06. that little itchy spot in the middle of your back you can\'t reach no matter how hard you try (Why would a loving God design us to have a spot that we can\'t reach when it itches?)
05. Large tags in the neckline of shirts
04. Clowns
03. Popcorn flavored jelly babies
02. Packs of unsharpened pencils, when you really need a sharp pencil.
01. KidzBop CDs
 
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treide

New member
They may actually prove the existence of God.

Clearly the presence of these things proves the existence of the Devil.

Since the universe is a place of beautiful symmetry and equal, opposing forces (matter can neither be created or destroyed and other properties of physics that I only vaguely recall), if there is a Devil, there must be a God!

At some point he will surely smite down Barney.
 
Duende

Duende

New member
Originally posted by vincegamer
10. Barney the Dinosaur Agreed!
09. Liver and Onions Blagh! Agreed!
08. Tofurkey Is that some kind of curse word?
07. Wedgies You still get those?
06. that little itchy spot in the middle of your back you can\'t reach no matter how hard you try I have flexible arms and don\'t have this problem. :D
05. Large tags in the neckline of shirts And the more comfortable the shirt, the itchier the damn tag!
04. Clowns Augh, the nightmares!
03. Popcorn flavored jelly babies I think \"Boy Bands\" should be in this spot instead.
02. Packs of unsharpened pencils, when you really need a sharp pencil. That\'s why I use mechanical ones.
01. KidzBop CDs Agreed! The work of the devil they are!
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G

GreenOne

I paint my thumb.
Originally posted by vincegamer
to be symmetrical, wouldn\'t a devil have to be equal to a god?
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Yeah, I think that was the base of an argument
between them a while back, I think that\'s why he left and got is own place.
There was also something with too much parties at their place, drug, sex, gambling...
Probably Jesus was pissed because he had to pick-up all those empty bottles every morning and had no place to do his homework...

I believe in god, cause I don\'t have an itchy spot that I can\'t reach in my back :D
 
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vincegamer

Active member
Originally posted by Duende 07. Wedgies You still get those?well, no.

06. that little itchy spot in the middle of your back you can\'t reach no matter how hard you try I have flexible arms and don\'t have this problem. :DMe too - I confess I didn\'t make up the list.
05. Large tags in the neckline of shirts And the more comfortable the shirt, the itchier the damn tag!
04. Clowns Augh, the nightmares!
03. Popcorn flavored jelly babies I think \"Boy Bands\" should be in this spot instead. good one. I replaced the original \"black Jelly Beans\" cause I like those.
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Evil Dave

New member
Ah, but there is:
There\'s Davidicus, God of Sex, Alcohol, Cigarettes and Argument.
And there\'s Gene Simmons, God of Thunder, and Rock and Roll.

KISS---Gene-Simmons--C11751295.jpeg
 
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McKenna35

New member
Read a book many, many years ago where they espoused the theory that God was a lie, created by the devil, as an illusion to give mankind hope, so that the end would be that much more crushing. Very cheerful book! :D
 
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Modderrhu

New member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
:rolleyes: ahhhhmm.......please let it be known, I happen to like Liver and Onions!! :p:p:p
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It is already well known that you\'re particularly devilish, Donna. ;)

Britney Speares
 
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finn17

New member
You must get more devilish as you get older..

I love liver and onions/sprouts/spinach/blue cheese/caviar etc...

All the things in fact that I loathed as a kid..

(When I say caviar, I mean the cheap \'ol stuff you can buy in LIDLs..)
 
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treide

New member
Originally posted by vincegamer
to be symmetrical, wouldn\'t a devil have to be equal to a god?
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I suppose so. Maybe God was there in the beginning and said \"This won\'t do, I\'m too good - there\'s no symmetry\". So he created an evil version of himself, and all was good...and bad.

I say \"he\", but of course feel free to insert \"she\" or \"it\" if you like.
 
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desertdragon1964

New member
how can anyone believe in an omnipetent being knowing places like ST. JUDE hospital for children has to exist in the world.If a GOD truly was out there why would he allow innocent,defensless children to be hurt by anyone less powerful than he,considering he is supposed to be the mightiest of all. DD???
 
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spazzy

New member
Originally posted by philologus
#1 reason that God has to exist:

SEX

And he\'s a genius for creating it.
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Reminds me of a sign at a local brewery. \"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.\"

And I like liver, onions, spinach, artichokes, black jelly beans AND the popcorn ones. Not a fan of bleu cheese, and I have no motivation to try caviar. I\'m not a fan of fish, so I\'m not interested in eating anything that comes out of a fish\'s ass.
 
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finn17

New member
Originally posted by spazzy
I\'m not a fan of fish, so I\'m not interested in eating anything that comes out of a fish\'s ass.
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Nor am I Miss Spaz;)

Caviar is fish eggs, and is completely \'arse free\', in the same way that hen\'s eggs differ from chicken shit:innocent:
 
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Godlikebuthumble

New member
Orginal gepostet von treide
Originally posted by vincegamer
to be symmetrical, wouldn\'t a devil have to be equal to a god?
Click to expand...

I suppose so. Maybe God was there in the beginning and said \"This won\'t do, I\'m too good - there\'s no symmetry\". So he created an evil version of himself, and all was good...and bad.

I say \"he\", but of course feel free to insert \"she\" or \"it\" if you like.
Click to expand...

Funny, but according to comparative bible theory, that\'s how it began... In the oldest stories from the bible, god was basically his own \"bad guy\", meting out punishment and salvation. Later, they came to think that a purely benevolent god would sell better, so the antithetical figure, the satan, began forming out a bit at a time.

And liver and onion are tasty!
 
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