Bigdennis52
New member
I am glad to see you agree with us
lol lol lol lol
Women
- Thread starter Bill
- Start date
I am glad to see you agree with us
lol lol lol lol
Bigdennis52
New member
take my name down I will give you my number with it. lol
nightsword
New member
What\'s blonde and has brains?
Labrador
How do you get the larger woman into bed?
Piece of cake
Q. Why is it called PMS?
A. Because \"Mad Cow Disease\" was already taken.
What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
she fell in the sink
What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
An interpreter
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
what do u call a blonde in a volkswagen?
far from thinking
My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she\'s borderline irrational
answer: So what\'s your question?
Question: What\'s wrong with Donna and Liz?
Labrador
How do you get the larger woman into bed?
Piece of cake
Q. Why is it called PMS?
A. Because \"Mad Cow Disease\" was already taken.
What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
she fell in the sink
What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
An interpreter
Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
what do u call a blonde in a volkswagen?
far from thinking
My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she\'s borderline irrational
answer: So what\'s your question?
Question: What\'s wrong with Donna and Liz?
nightsword
New member
I\'ve got stamina, it\'s ok
PS: I\'ve added to my last post
N
PS: I\'ve added to my last post
N
lizcam
New member
Airhead is right. You\'d never be able to keep up!
Besides, we\'ve come to realize over the years that men need to vent about women now and then. It\'s nature. Plus, you have NO IDEA what we say about men when you\'re not looking! We\'d make even the hardest of you blush. Believe me! :twisted::drool:
Besides, we\'ve come to realize over the years that men need to vent about women now and then. It\'s nature. Plus, you have NO IDEA what we say about men when you\'re not looking! We\'d make even the hardest of you blush. Believe me! :twisted::drool:
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
Originally posted by nightsword
I\'ve got stamina, it\'s ok
PS: I\'ve added to my last post
N
:twisted:thats what they \"all\" say:twisted:
nightsword
New member
I don\'t believe it, women aren\'t clever enough to make up anything witty, and if they did, they were probably lying... *ahem*
And, in a similar vein to before...
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she\'s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
And, in a similar vein to before...
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she\'s got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
you will find that as men get old, yes the way to their darling hearts is through the stomach and bonus points for a good back rub with ben-gay toololAinuLainour
New member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
I think you\'re in the wrong thread
nightsword
New member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
I\'ll give you a good back rub
Bigdennis52
New member
Well, I just found out first hand...
DO NOT LEAVE THIS TOPIC UP WITH THE WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO YOU!!!
DO NOT LEAVE THIS TOPIC UP WITH THE WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO YOU!!!
Bigdennis52
New member
This is a true story
two weeks ago I went to Sears with my old man, we were looking at various appliances, so we were in the refridgerator / washer - dryer section... however we didnt notice that directly behind us was the dishwashers.
So this young sales rep comes about, this kid couldnt have been more than 20 years old and he asks my old man
\"So sir, are you looking to buy a dishwasher today?\"
My old man replies
\"Why would I need that, I got a wife at home\"
That poor kid busted out laughing in the middle of the store, As I stood there like :twisted: and my old man didnt think twice about it, just went on about his merry business
Just goes to show you how the times have changed (Or have they ... *hits woman with a stick* - get back in the kitchen!)
two weeks ago I went to Sears with my old man, we were looking at various appliances, so we were in the refridgerator / washer - dryer section... however we didnt notice that directly behind us was the dishwashers.
So this young sales rep comes about, this kid couldnt have been more than 20 years old and he asks my old man
\"So sir, are you looking to buy a dishwasher today?\"
My old man replies
\"Why would I need that, I got a wife at home\"
That poor kid busted out laughing in the middle of the store, As I stood there like :twisted: and my old man didnt think twice about it, just went on about his merry business
Just goes to show you how the times have changed (Or have they ... *hits woman with a stick* - get back in the kitchen!)
airhead
Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
\'That\'s nice,\' she thinks, \'but I want more.\'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
\'Wow,\' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
\'Oh, mercy me!\' she exclaims, \'I can hardly stand it!\'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
\'That\'s nice,\' she thinks, \'but I want more.\'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
\'Wow,\' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
\'Oh, mercy me!\' she exclaims, \'I can hardly stand it!\'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
nightsword
New member
\'mazing.
In response to wiccanpony\'s list of \"small penis\" remarks...
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Whats the difference between a woman and a pitbull?
Lipstick
What if God\'s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I\'ll never know why.
(Adam Ferrara)
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
Woman inspires us to great things...and prevents us from achieving them. (Dumas)
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark!
Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.
How do you get a woman dizzy?
- Put her in a circular room and tell her to go to a corner.
A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
- The man, he shouldn\'t be driving in the kitchen.
What would men do without women?
- They would train another animal
(courtesy of mustsharejokes.com)
In response to wiccanpony\'s list of \"small penis\" remarks...
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Whats the difference between a woman and a pitbull?
Lipstick
What if God\'s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I\'ll never know why.
(Adam Ferrara)
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
Woman inspires us to great things...and prevents us from achieving them. (Dumas)
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, let the bitch cook in the dark!
Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.
How do you get a woman dizzy?
- Put her in a circular room and tell her to go to a corner.
A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
- The man, he shouldn\'t be driving in the kitchen.
What would men do without women?
- They would train another animal
(courtesy of mustsharejokes.com)
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
Most are really funny. nightsword, but the battered women ones hit a little to close to home.