the eyes need some work - the head is a focal point. i wont give you suggestions on what to do because that is up to your artistic discretion. i advise against pure white banners and such for new comers because i have found white to be one of the most challenging colors to work with. start with an off white, cream or maybe a very light blue. that way shading and hilighting will be much easier. as micha said focus your hilighting more (like you did around the neck). most people at this site are in to a harsh hilight right along the edge as well. clean up the blacklining on the hand afterwards with some more white. the pose of the mini is an often overlooked element by beguinning painters such as yourself. in general trey to make a more dynamic pose - have an action in mind. what is this marine doing? lastly there are the metallics. these are always hard. remember that metallics are multitone and most of the same principles for colored paints apply to them as well. a light wash with black will bring out the definitionin the wings - these can then be hilighted with a lighter gold or even silver for a nice effect.
as the cleche goes: practice makes perfect -> keep pumping them out.
Your first mini ever? - seriosly, it´s a solid piece of work, my first mini looked far worse; your color application is clean(you hit all the details) but you my try to be more consistent, the armor is a wild mix of all shades of blue without any regularities. Oh, and you should really paint the sand on the base - best to do it before painting the mini. All in all a good start, keep on going.
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