cassar
BALLSCRATCHER
11,744 says it all really superfreak! lol you couldnt resist the gauntlet
Chat up lines or other devices used to cop off.
- Thread starter cassar
- Start date
11,744 says it all really superfreak! lol you couldnt resist the gauntlet
noneedforaname
New member
I didn't say I didn't enjoy it lol freaky chicks FTW
cassar
BALLSCRATCHER
you know what they say about nice girls dont ya? they take their own knickers off!, nympho? isnt that the state bird of ohio?
Torn blue sky
New member
I hear that. I just thought it might be safer if I distanced myself after an incident involving a knife, handcuffs and a near perforation of my chest cavity 0.o
Torn blue sky
New member
Saves me the trouble! And why didn't anyone say this before, i'd have visiated Ohio last I was in the US!
noneedforaname
New member
Can't remember the comedian but I believe it goes a lil like this "who needs 72 virgins upon ascending to heaven, one slutty catholic girl that knows how to use her mouth will do me"
Torn blue sky
New member
Quoted for truth. I think it was Billy Connolly, man.
cassar
BALLSCRATCHER
get married mate you find out they all know how to use their mouths......yack, yack, yack, nagg, nagg nagg why dont you take me out anymore? we never do anything together anymore, we dont talk like we used to.
thats because you never shut up long enough for me to get a word in!!
marriage a fine institution, but who wants to be in an institution!
another connolly classic that describes the ying yang dynamic
"women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved"
thats because you never shut up long enough for me to get a word in!!
marriage a fine institution, but who wants to be in an institution!
another connolly classic that describes the ying yang dynamic
"women need to feel loved to have sex, men need to have sex to feel loved"
Last edited:
Torn blue sky
New member
Ah the man is a phillosophical poet haha
freakinacage
Well-known member
A mate told me this one today:
go up to a nice girl with a friend and ask the friend "wanna dance?" if she says yes, say "sod off and dance then while I chat your mate up"..
go up to a nice girl with a friend and ask the friend "wanna dance?" if she says yes, say "sod off and dance then while I chat your mate up"..
cassar
BALLSCRATCHER
your friend must be fighting em off with a stick, charming. however in the same vein, sid the sexist classic "hello darlin do ya like fruit?, well suck ma *&^% its a peach!
Torn blue sky
New member
"If I asked you if you would have sex with me; would your answer be the same answer to this question?"
Get out of that one, lady!
Get out of that one, lady!
IdofEntity
New member
She could just choose to slap you in the face. By context, she has answered both questions.
I used this once, and embarassed the loud-mouthed woman who was consistently annoying our group:
"I must be Captain Ahab, because I've found my white whale! Now where can I stick my rusty harpoon?"
Master of fact
Member
IdofEntity i REALLY want to go drinking with you, i would just sit back and take note's. That line is a WINNAR!
IdofEntity
New member
Really, really bad idea. My objective is usually to inflict maximum embarassment, and innocent bystanders can be caught up in it. Any time we see that woman again we all cry out "Yar! Der' she blows!". A completely different woman who was self-conscious about her weight ran to the restrooms crying.
If my french friend is with us we'll get into arguments of Irish vs. French. If any of my single friends are with me I play the game "Have you met <insert name>?" Actually I think I've done that with a married friend as well.
johnboyjjb
Active member
Do you like kinky stuff? Cause my wife hates it when I bring home women with strange fetishes.
Oddly enough it didn't work the one time I heard it used.
Oddly enough it didn't work the one time I heard it used.
Torn blue sky
New member
I have to say, the best and funniest chatup came from a mate of mine who was in the coldstream guards at the time. He was at a regimental dinner and with these things you have a decanter of port on the table. After the dinner and formalities you're set free to get generally shitfaced and mingle. Well he decided to take the decanter with him. He (inevitably) ended up utterly wankered. His CO (who was a woman, and a lesbian; no less) was present. He was so inhebriated he walked up to her and uttered the immortal line.
"M'am. I'd really like to bum you!"
He was barred from the mess indeffinately hahaha.
"M'am. I'd really like to bum you!"
He was barred from the mess indeffinately hahaha.
freakinacage
Well-known member
IdofEntity
New member
That sounds like a better opening line for a serial killer.
