effort whats the f...ing point

cassar

cassar

BALLSCRATCHER
for the last two weeks i have been trying to catch the cat which has been content to stay out even tho the temperatures have been baltic

i tried sneaking up on it trapping it in the garage i then obtained a large net in various configurations with nets string etc finally i set up a net trap using the technique used by arnie in the movie predator and the adjacent hedge and some expertly place ham slices the trap worke a treat .... with next doors cat who was completely pissed off at being unceromonialy wipped off her feet and suspended in a net several feet off the ground (bear gryls would a been so proud, that is just before eating it alive washed down with a little warm pee) i then resorted to plan "G" and fabricated a pole set up something like a large butterfly net which i then set at the door in anticipation of a swift kill er catch... three weeks of obsessive behaviour a full hours discusion on the matter with my shrink and more sleepless nights of intense planning and.....the wife goes out the back tonite sings a song to her tickles her chin and WAIT FOR THIS.... PICKS HER UP

i am gutted i had my homer simpson "once again man triumphs over a small furry animal "speech prepared n everything! HURRRMPHF

whats the point?
 
DXM

DXM

New member
You planned too much......
Plan A.......Honey go get YOUR cat because if I go outside I'm carrying a shotgun and then calmly walk to your worktable and start painting.
Problem solved...2 weeks of blissful painting watching your wife going through what you would have gone through.
 
gohkm

gohkm

Active member
Yup, happens to me, too. For some reason, my cats gravitate to my wife. She can just walk up to them, pick them up, and carry them in. I have to resort to the butterfly net (didn't work very well), or enticements with some pricey treats (they seem to like prawns best). So, now, they're her cats :). I'm getting me a nice Great Dane or Greyhound.
 
No Such Agency

No Such Agency

New member
A cat's his own dog. You have to make them think that coming in was their idea, not something you are desperate for. The soft sell works way better than anything else.
 
crystella333

crystella333

New member
Cats never come when called...they take a message and get back to you.

as for Cats and Females...they know who is really in charge :)
 
BarstoolProphet

BarstoolProphet

New member
Cat: Why would I need a name? I know who I am. Do you know who you are? -- Neil Gaiman, Coraline (paraphrased)

"Meow shall be our secret word. It means 'Humans are stupid. We shall make them feed us and clean our litter boxes.' -- The Garfield Cartoon show.
 
nels0nmac

nels0nmac

Member
Even when you do get the cat inside, you can lock all the doors, shut all the windows, and feel smug that you finally have the damn cat safe where you want it to be. You get up look out the window ... to see that F*ing cat outside again. How do they do it?..... well cats know that the laws of physics do not apply to them... that and the ability to teleport to wherever they are not wanted.
 
I

IdofEntity

New member
Cats know how to take care of themselves. If they're ever really distressed they will come back and look pitiful at you hoping to earn some tuna. Ignore them and they return. Seek them and you may as well look for the Grail.
 
T

Torn blue sky

New member
LMAO! Nice one Cass, you're a real modern day Wyle.E Coyote!
The picture I have in my head of you patiently waiting in the bushes trying not to giggle at your own brilliance, holding a bit of string that'll set of a wonderful trap is too much to bear!
 
noneedforaname

noneedforaname

New member
The failure was not using a tennis racket, smacking any living creature swiftly in the chops with one results in instant discipline, well it works on people haven't tried it on animals yet.
 
cassar

cassar

BALLSCRATCHER
Master of fact said:
Wait you cant say my cousin ate a cat and not tell. Come on spill the beans.
Click to expand...

i too wish to to know

Torn blue sky said:
LMAO! Nice one Cass, you're a real modern day Wyle.E Coyote!
The picture I have in my head of you patiently waiting in the bushes trying not to giggle at your own brilliance, holding a bit of string that'll set of a wonderful trap is too much to bear!
Click to expand...

holy crap! i couldnt see that but thats it, thats exactly it.. should have used the rocket roller skates doh! i think the avatar probably sums up the cats facial expression at the time. the trap could be self initiated or manually (puffs out chest with pride) im changing it s name now to "cooking fat"

mud duck said:
Cats are like greatness, Some are born with them, and some have cats thrusted upon them
William H. A. Carr

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
"Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."
Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
unknown

Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as cats do.
Lee Entrekin
Click to expand...

cats are nice, as to their purpose i could tell you but i'd have to put you through the shredder after lol
 
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