Alright, Who\'s responsible?
- Thread starter philologus
- Start date
Highbulp Billy
New member
I love this idea of a chimp retirement home - do they have pension funds too? As for who the father is... there aren\'t any hairy miscreants hanging around here are there? lol
This is proof of my long time belief that the monkeys are uprising.
An Immaculate Conception?
The prophecies are true....
During my research on this topic, I found this scrawled on the back of a used banana peel:
\'and lo the reckoning shall come to the humans, whence one of us shall rise and be known as Cheetah Christ, the miraculous one\'
*NOTE that was translated from the original language text which actually reads
\'oooh ooh hooo aaaa aaah oooooh CHIQITA ohh aaaaahhh aaaah\'
An Immaculate Conception?
The prophecies are true....
During my research on this topic, I found this scrawled on the back of a used banana peel:
\'and lo the reckoning shall come to the humans, whence one of us shall rise and be known as Cheetah Christ, the miraculous one\'
*NOTE that was translated from the original language text which actually reads
\'oooh ooh hooo aaaa aaah oooooh CHIQITA ohh aaaaahhh aaaah\'
Ah the jesus Chip. All humanity will tremble before his might and grace. he shall cast out the zookeepers form his temple and shall feed the chimp masses on two pop tarts and a banana. But he will live in sadness, knowing his one of his chimp followers will betray him for thirty bananas. lol
Dragon Forge Design
New member
Now this is what one can truly call \"Monkey Business\" lol
vincegamer
Active member
The article doesn\'t mention why these chimps are there. In all probability they were infected with HIV for experiments because of their similarities to humans. Thus one reason they are not permitted to reproduce.
philologus
Subgenius
OVERVIEW
Chimp Haven, Inc. is an independent, nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide lifetime care for chimpanzees no longer used for medical research, as pets or entertainers. The organization was founded in 1995 by professionals from the primatological, pharmaceutical, animal protection, zoo and business communities. Chimp Haven also provides education programs to students of all ages.
Our goals to design, construct, and manage humane, cost effective social housing for government-owned and other unwanted chimpanzees has become a reality. Chimp Haven may also serve as an umbrella organization for several national sanctuaries. We will build additional sanctuaries in warm weather regions that provide the most naturalistic environment for chimpanzees. Phase I construction is complete with construction for Phase II now underway for the first sanctuary in Keithville, Louisiana.
This new model of care for surplus chimpanzees will provide the following:
a permanent home where chimpanzees can live out their lives in large, naturalistic enclosures in complex social groups;
opportunities for education and behavioral studies;
an inexpensive low-maintenance facility design;
an endowment plan for the lifelong care of each chimpanzee; and
an organization managed by concerned individuals who specialize in chimpanzee care and management.
Chimp Haven’s national headquarters is located in Keithville, Louisiana.
LINK
Infidel Castro
New member
Ya cheery bugger! lol
But really speaking, it wasn\'t me. You heard it here first...honest.
philologus
Subgenius
Originally posted by supervike
Originally posted by dauber22
Are they positive the father is another chimp? This is from Shreveport, after all
Isn\'t Evil Dave from that part of the country?:kiss:
I was trying to stay away from all that. Now I can blame you for sinking lower than the lot.
Legacy Account
Active member
I\'ve been subject to similar paternity questions.
The joys of being a ginger kid.
The joys of being a ginger kid.
james sequeira
New member
Your ginger
Legacy Account
Active member
Originally posted by james sequeira
You\'re ginger
I used to be
I used to look like a ginger version of the bigfoot in that Automatic video....
philologus
Subgenius
More news from the Chimp Uprising:
Chimp for Hire: Will Clean Toilets for Bananas
LITTLE ROCK (AP) — An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.
The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped Tuesday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took swigs from bottles she managed to open.
\"Then she went in the bathroom and picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet,\" primate keeper Ann Rademacher said. \"Her technique was good enough to make me think she must have done it before.\"
The 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before arriving at the zoo in 1988. Rademacher said that might explain how Judy knew how to wring out a sponge and scrub down the fridge.
The chimp accepted a strawberry yogurt laced with a sedative. When it didn\'t work, keepers waited until she was distracted by more food and injected her.
Within five minutes, she fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
The zoo veterinarian gave Judy a drug to bring her around and she seemed groggy but otherwise fine, Rademacher said.
Zoo spokeswoman Susan Altrui said there was no danger that Judy would get out of the primate service area and onto zoo grounds.
Chimp for Hire: Will Clean Toilets for Bananas
LITTLE ROCK (AP) — An escaped chimpanzee at the Little Rock Zoo raided a kitchen cupboard and did a little cleaning with a toilet brush before sedatives knocked her out on top of a refrigerator.
The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped Tuesday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took swigs from bottles she managed to open.
\"Then she went in the bathroom and picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet,\" primate keeper Ann Rademacher said. \"Her technique was good enough to make me think she must have done it before.\"
The 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before arriving at the zoo in 1988. Rademacher said that might explain how Judy knew how to wring out a sponge and scrub down the fridge.
The chimp accepted a strawberry yogurt laced with a sedative. When it didn\'t work, keepers waited until she was distracted by more food and injected her.
Within five minutes, she fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
The zoo veterinarian gave Judy a drug to bring her around and she seemed groggy but otherwise fine, Rademacher said.
Zoo spokeswoman Susan Altrui said there was no danger that Judy would get out of the primate service area and onto zoo grounds.
