Attack of the Clones, 70 min. review.

[supervike]

The 70 min. review of THE PHANTOM MENACE was on here a while back...

Now, he's come up with the next installment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfBhi6qqFLA

It's LONG, probably NSFW, and has some crude humor....

BUT (and just like the first one) he really taps into why the 'Prequels' sucked. He's actually quite insightful.

Really worth a watch, if you can find the time.

 

[Warzone1320]

I saw his review for phantom menace and attack of the clones through links provided on another forum and while his voice is quite annoying it was all pretty funny and true. Especially the non-related parts about the basement.

 

[Torn blue sky]

Man, I don't really think any SW fan needs to sit through a 70 min presentation as to just why the preques sucked lol!

That's what bars are for, general discussions of such things are encouraged!

 

[EArkham]

I watched it. It was mostly pretty funny. And yeah, he does a great job of nailing why the movies were so lousy. The kidnapped women thing was amusing at first, but got really stupid fast. And his voice was annoying (it sounded very much like he was doing the cottonball-mouth thing on purpose). But yeah, good job articulating what was screwed up with those movies.

Kep

 

[Aliengod3]

Am I the only person that like the first three films? Sure they are not as good as the originals but the story really helps fill in some blanks. BTW the youtube video is great! I think it is interesting that the review is just about as long as the actual movie.

 

[Chern Ann]

I was going with it but the bit about Amidala dying because she "lost the will to live" just annoyed the hell out of me. What a limp rag. I mean, they could have done it any other way that would have been so much more dramatic (Anakin wounds her with the dark side somehow, killing her in labor, or she reaches out and saves his life with the Force but losing her own, depending on whether the theme would be about self-hatred or love and redemption). What kind of queen dies like, oh, my husband is a dick, I think I'll die now.

 

[Dragonsreach]

What kind of queen dies like, oh, my husband is a dick, I think I'll die now.

As an Englishman I have to say that is so true.

 

[Elly3438]

I'll never forgive them for the "Mitochlorian" or whatever it's called explanation for the force... Instead of it being more mystical, and Luke training hard, through discipline and perseverance, to tap into and learn the ways to use the force, it was really all just his mitochlorian count in his blood... lame

 

[Evil Dave]

If you think the new movies were bad...
George Lucas wants to make Jedi Babies series.


I think the Star Wars really started going down with the Ewoks. I mean, come on, an Empire capable of hyperspace travel, blasters, destroying entire planets, beaten by stone age teddy bears? Give me a break. One modern SEAL Team could wipe out Endor.

Personally, I hope that Lucas runs Star Wars so far into the ground that no one will pay the exorbitant licensing or want to touch it. Then in order to maintain his wealth he has to sell the license to someone who can bring it in the direction it should go.

 

[supervike]

How could George Lucas be the genius he was, and turn into the turd he became?

I guess the bit about Lucas only keeping on the "yes men" was his unfortunate downfall.

 

[Einion]

BUT (and just like the first one) he really taps into why the 'Prequels' sucked.

I'm not a I, II and III apologist but seriously, that same degree of critique really should be turned on Star Wars and its two sequels (particularly the one that so many "fans of the series" think is the best) too in order to fairly judge them.

Good as these reviews are - there are a lot of great insights, whether original or not - if you look at nearly any film in obsessive detail you can pick holes in it all over the place. I'm a huge fan of The Matrix still but man, talk about full of errors!

Einion

 

[PegaZus]

I'm not a I, II and III apologist but seriously, that same degree of critique really should be turned on Star Wars and its two sequels (particularly the one that so many "fans of the series" think is the best) too in order to fairly judge them.

Like you said, easy to pick apart any movie. But how he started out the review of the first prequel (7 minutes into Part 1), something really struck home: Describe a Star Wars character without saying what they looked like, their costume, or their role/profession in the movie. And I tried that myself and got about the same reaction. The characters were just more "alive".

 

[Torn blue sky]

I was going with it but the bit about Amidala dying because she "lost the will to live" just annoyed the hell out of me. What a limp rag. I mean, they could have done it any other way that would have been so much more dramatic (Anakin wounds her with the dark side somehow, killing her in labor, or she reaches out and saves his life with the Force but losing her own, depending on whether the theme would be about self-hatred or love and redemption). What kind of queen dies like, oh, my husband is a dick, I think I'll die now.

lmfao, this is a very valid point! And , admitedly, one I never thought about!

I'm not a I, II and III apologist but seriously, that same degree of critique really should be turned on Star Wars and its two sequels (particularly the one that so many "fans of the series" think is the best) too in order to fairly judge them.

Good as these reviews are - there are a lot of great insights, whether original or not - if you look at nearly any film in obsessive detail you can pick holes in it all over the place. I'm a huge fan of The Matrix still but man, talk about full of errors!

Einion

AHhhh but you have to remember that in Empire, it was a revolutionary twist. The bad guys NEVER won in those days. Even the imagary of black and white was still used in main chars to depict good and evil! So it was , in fact, a stroke of genius!

I'll never forgive them for the "Mitochlorian" or whatever it's called explanation for the force... Instead of it being more mystical, and Luke training hard, through discipline and perseverance, to tap into and learn the ways to use the force, it was really all just his mitochlorian count in his blood... lame

Tbh man, it's kina like watching a Shaolin monk balancing on his stomach on a spear and spinning around; and wondering why you can't do that. You can, it just takes focus and training. It's just more select in the SW univese for Jedi.

 

[Einion]

Like you said, easy to pick apart any movie. But how he started out the review of the first prequel (7 minutes into Part 1), something really struck home: Describe a Star Wars character without saying what they looked like, their costume, or their role/profession in the movie. And I tried that myself and got about the same reaction. The characters were just more "alive".

I can't remember if this was said in-thread the last time but, it was a funny point, however the people they showed answering the question really just sucked at it! For all we know it could even have been staged, since the whole point was to lambaste.

I can describe Qui-Gon just about as well as I could Solo, don't know about you. Don't even need to resort to just using a TWD for a 'sketch' of the character.

AHhhh but you have to remember that in Empire, it was a revolutionary twist. The bad guys NEVER won in those days. Even the imagary of black and white was still used in main chars to depict good and evil! So it was , in fact, a stroke of genius!

Might have been effective, no argument there, but stroke of genius? Well maybe if he'd been the first person, ever, to think of it... but have you seen many westerns? :struggle:

Einion

 

[Glen11]

Personally, I hope that Lucas runs Star Wars so far into the ground that no one will pay the exorbitant licensing or want to touch it. Then in order to maintain his wealth he has to sell the license to someone who can bring it in the direction it should go.

Even if he runs Star Wars into the ground he'll never run out of money due to 2 things: THX Sound and Skywalker Studios.

 

[Evil Dave]

Even if he runs Star Wars into the ground he'll never run out of money due to 2 things: THX Sound and Skywalker Studios.

THX I'll give him, but Skywalker Studios? Only as good as the talent, and the price, and no amount of CGI made Jar Jar good. Hell, CGI didn't even make Avatar good. Watchable certainly, but good, eh.
Have you seen some of the Star Wars fan films? Guys filming movies and editing them with their home computers, some of them looking very good at a fraction of the cost.
Hell, I'd wager right here on CMON that we have enough talent to make one of the coolest sci fi movies ever. We've got painters, modelers, sculptors, computer guys, scientists for references, writers, computer guys, etc...

 

[supervike]

THX I'll give him, but Skywalker Studios? Only as good as the talent, and the price, and no amount of CGI made Jar Jar good. Hell, CGI didn't even make Avatar good. Watchable certainly, but good, eh.
Have you seen some of the Star Wars fan films? Guys filming movies and editing them with their home computers, some of them looking very good at a fraction of the cost.
Hell, I'd wager right here on CMON that we have enough talent to make one of the coolest sci fi movies ever. We've got painters, modelers, sculptors, computer guys, scientists for references, writers, computer guys, etc...

Now if we could come up with some grouchy, take no prisoners/no holds barred ornery bastard for a director....:glasses-nerdy: