Cmon Marriage/Relationship poll
- Thread starter lizcam
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fieldarchy
New member
Awww Avelorn! I wanted to stalk you though. Damnit! 
Yeah if anyone knows where I can find this rock that all the good men live under please PM me the coordinates so I can go take a look. It\'s been a terrible time trying to find it.
Yeah if anyone knows where I can find this rock that all the good men live under please PM me the coordinates so I can go take a look. It\'s been a terrible time trying to find it.
Friar
Dorks for Orks
Been in a very happy relationship for 3 years and lovin it, in the pre-engaged engagement so I guess thats pre-pre-married lol we\'re enjoyin takin our time with things.
@atacam: firstly congrats you guys make a great lookin couple, I just hadda tell ya I never thought of wedding gown in red and I gotta say it looks beautiful, has a very royal ellegance to it.
and Best wishes to everyone that their relationships stay strong, get better, & and that everyone finds someone to hold onto (just make sure they are willing first)
@atacam: firstly congrats you guys make a great lookin couple, I just hadda tell ya I never thought of wedding gown in red and I gotta say it looks beautiful, has a very royal ellegance to it.
and Best wishes to everyone that their relationships stay strong, get better, & and that everyone finds someone to hold onto (just make sure they are willing first)
atacam
New member
Originally posted by Friar
Been in a very happy relationship for 3 years and lovin it, in the pre-engaged engagement so I guess thats pre-pre-married lol we\'re enjoyin takin our time with things.
@atacam: firstly congrats you guys make a great lookin couple, I just hadda tell ya I never thought of wedding gown in red and I gotta say it looks beautiful, has a very royal ellegance to it.
and Best wishes to everyone that their relationships stay strong, get better, & and that everyone finds someone to hold onto (just make sure they are willing first)
Thank you:redface:
I know I am biased, but she did look very nice in it
Infidel Castro
New member
I\'m not sure I can tick one of the options as it\'s all a bit complicated in my life. Well, sort of. My wife lives in England as we separated 4 years ago and haven\'t got divorced since. I live with my ex-girlfriend now, having bought a house together but things not working out. So I\'m married but separated and living with an ex-girlfriend. And I had a fling the other month as well, which was all very exciting.
It\'s sordid!
It\'s sordid!
Ah, yes; the two most common misconceptions about us \"good men\":
1) That we\'re good (we aren\'t really; we\'re just not as bad as most).
2) That we live under rocks (we live under trees).
Ok, seriously....
Most of us \"good men\" are out there, we just tend to be overlooked for a variety of reasons.
For example, I used to work with a lady in her early 40\'s who was trying to find a \"good man\". After dating a bunch of different guys, she told me that she was giving up. I asked her what was wrong with them (thinking that maybe they were alcoholics, abusive, whatever). Most of them sounded like decent enough guys (with the exception of the one guy that didn\'t have a job and wasn\'t even looking for one). Her main problem with most of them? They didn\'t make enough money. With one of them, she didn\'t like that he was a bit overweight (I\'ve seen the guy and I\'m more overweight than he is; apparently she wanted a guy with washboard abs or something). She complained that she couldn\'t find a \"good man\", even though she was passing over plenty of them because she was more concerned with appearance than personality.
I\'m not saying that you\'re setting your standards too high or that you\'re only interested in the physical or materialistic; just saying that maybe you\'ve overlooked someone.
Also, bear in mind that most of us \"good men\" tend to be a bit shy or awkward around women, so we don\'t approach them. Maybe there\'s a good man that is interested, he just doesn\'t know how to approach you.
digbaddy72
Member
Happily Married 10.5 years now. 3 kids (21, 10, and 6). No plans or talk of divorce. We would try marriage councelling first, if that didnt work, then we\'d divorce.
I was just happy to find a decent woman who loves her geek!
I was just happy to find a decent woman who loves her geek!
fieldarchy
New member
Oh I\'ve approached and been shot down. I\'m fairly assertive. If I find someone I like I let them know it. I will even ask them out. Last guy I did that with . . . he\'s been acting like I never said anything really. He seemed to be interested before I laid on the table, \"Hey I like you. I would like to go on a date with you\". And if someone asks me out, then I usually find out they have some HUGE problem. Really I am very tolerant but there are somethings that guys have done/said to me that are unforgiveable. We\'re talking HUGE mistakes or comments made that ended things immediately.
As for the materialistic, all I require is they have a job. They could be self employed but as long as they can pay their bills that\'s all I care about on that front.
I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad. My mother is the one who thinks someone isn\'t good enough unless they are making 50K or more.
And trust me I\'ve tried dating all types in terms of looks and personalities. But the relationships I\'ve had have come to an end . . . one guy was a drug addict, the next serious relationship the guy got spooked after he mentioned me moving to be closer to him (in Canada) and ended things and since those two there\'s really been nothing serious. Been on dates and found I don\'t mesh well with the person or they have some huge hang up in their life still from previous exs. I know no one is perfect but I don\'t want to deal with emotional baggage if someone has not let go of those hurts yet. Also, some guys have some really WEIRD problems in general. The last guy I was dating . . . yeah . . . man . . . I tell people the story and they are horrified.
Maybe I have a bullseye on my forehead that attracts the broken ones? I don\'t know!
As for the materialistic, all I require is they have a job. They could be self employed but as long as they can pay their bills that\'s all I care about on that front.
I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad. My mother is the one who thinks someone isn\'t good enough unless they are making 50K or more.
And trust me I\'ve tried dating all types in terms of looks and personalities. But the relationships I\'ve had have come to an end . . . one guy was a drug addict, the next serious relationship the guy got spooked after he mentioned me moving to be closer to him (in Canada) and ended things and since those two there\'s really been nothing serious. Been on dates and found I don\'t mesh well with the person or they have some huge hang up in their life still from previous exs. I know no one is perfect but I don\'t want to deal with emotional baggage if someone has not let go of those hurts yet. Also, some guys have some really WEIRD problems in general. The last guy I was dating . . . yeah . . . man . . . I tell people the story and they are horrified.
Maybe I have a bullseye on my forehead that attracts the broken ones? I don\'t know!
JesterzUSMC
Recovering Megalomaniac
You do....I checked through my rifle scope the other day...it\'s plain as day right square in the center of your forehead..
lol
Just kidding!
lol
Just kidding!
Wren
Member
I have been married just over five years now, and love it. Not saying there isn\'t an occasional problem or conflict or what-have-you, and I\'m not saying my hubby never drives me up a wall. But overall I\'m happy being married. To a suitable person. A few previous long-term relationships were very instructive in helping me figure out what really was important to me. (Which is not money or looks, but compatible thinking in terms of values and things we enjoy doing together and stuff like that.)
To give those unhappy with their single status some hope, I had never expected to find another relationship after my last broke up. Partly because I didn\'t live in a way that made it easy to meet people, and partly because I have a lot of qualities that would make me not at all a \'catch\' to most people\'s eyes. Funnily enough, some of those same qualities are pluses to my husband, and the others he accepts as better than some of the alternatives.
I had never really planned to get married as I don\'t like getting into things that are messy to get out of. Plus my parents\' marriage lasted for less than three years while my mother\'s been shacked up for going on 37, so the piece of paper never seemed to be the important part. But when you fall in love with a person who lives in a different country, someone\'s government is going to decide the piece of paper is in fact very important if you want to live together.
To give those unhappy with their single status some hope, I had never expected to find another relationship after my last broke up. Partly because I didn\'t live in a way that made it easy to meet people, and partly because I have a lot of qualities that would make me not at all a \'catch\' to most people\'s eyes. Funnily enough, some of those same qualities are pluses to my husband, and the others he accepts as better than some of the alternatives.
I had never really planned to get married as I don\'t like getting into things that are messy to get out of. Plus my parents\' marriage lasted for less than three years while my mother\'s been shacked up for going on 37, so the piece of paper never seemed to be the important part. But when you fall in love with a person who lives in a different country, someone\'s government is going to decide the piece of paper is in fact very important if you want to live together.
Don\'t get me started. The developing events of relationshipville for me since New Year have totally reminded me why I\'ve not done the relationship thing for a fair old while. You females are completely bloody baffling and it\'s all horribly confusing yet uncomfortably exciting at the same time!
Can we get a simple \"Women...\" response added to the poll?
Can we get a simple \"Women...
\" response added to the poll?Ok, I\'m not the best looking guy out there, I am however, funny and witty, as well as extremely comfortable with who I am and what I can and cannot do.
That being said, getting a good relationship for me was always pretty easy...when I wasn\'t looking for one.
When you want a relationship, actively seeking one out, your subconscious seems to hijack what you are doing.
You start doing little things like being the person you think they might be attracted to rather than the person you are. Then when you get into a relationship with this person you become more relaxed and becoming more like yourself, which from their point of view: You become a different person than they met.
When seeking a relationship, you tend to ignore the little things that irritate you, thinking \"Ah, she\'s/he\'s great except for this one little thing.\" but you settle, and that one little thing become many BIG things, and usually ends up badly
The biggest difference I see in the sexes is that the women I know look at a guy and think \"This guy is perfect except for this, I can change that.\"
Guys tend to think, \"Except for this she is perfect, I don\'t want her to change.\"
Of course, through time and circumstance, both mindsets are doomed to fail.
So my advise to you singles out there is this:
Always, always be true to yourself. Be comfortable with you and treat others how you would be treated. Eventually, someone will recognize you for what you are.
Confidence in yourself is sexy.
Never try to make yourself up to be something you\'re not, do not lie to get in his/her pants, do not feign interest in something your not interested in. Eventually, you will be recognized as not being what you portrayed yourself to be.
Always be up front about the relationship and what you want it to be, communication is the key to every great relationship.
So relax, don\'t go looking for it, it will find you.
That being said, getting a good relationship for me was always pretty easy...when I wasn\'t looking for one.
When you want a relationship, actively seeking one out, your subconscious seems to hijack what you are doing.
You start doing little things like being the person you think they might be attracted to rather than the person you are. Then when you get into a relationship with this person you become more relaxed and becoming more like yourself, which from their point of view: You become a different person than they met.
When seeking a relationship, you tend to ignore the little things that irritate you, thinking \"Ah, she\'s/he\'s great except for this one little thing.\" but you settle, and that one little thing become many BIG things, and usually ends up badly
The biggest difference I see in the sexes is that the women I know look at a guy and think \"This guy is perfect except for this, I can change that.\"
Guys tend to think, \"Except for this she is perfect, I don\'t want her to change.\"
Of course, through time and circumstance, both mindsets are doomed to fail.
So my advise to you singles out there is this:
Always, always be true to yourself. Be comfortable with you and treat others how you would be treated. Eventually, someone will recognize you for what you are.
Confidence in yourself is sexy.
Never try to make yourself up to be something you\'re not, do not lie to get in his/her pants, do not feign interest in something your not interested in. Eventually, you will be recognized as not being what you portrayed yourself to be.
Always be up front about the relationship and what you want it to be, communication is the key to every great relationship.
So relax, don\'t go looking for it, it will find you.
Torn blue sky
New member
I\'d like to raise my hand!
Another broken bullseye right here lol
I also agree with what dave said... well said! The bit about not looking is so true lol
Another broken bullseye right here lol
I also agree with what dave said... well said! The bit about not looking is so true lol
Happily married for a little over 3 years now.
Dated a little over 2 years before that.
It is nice not to be on the prowl anymore - I was never particularly good at that game. My wife and prior girlfriends practically had to hit me over the head before I realized they were interested!
Dated a little over 2 years before that.
It is nice not to be on the prowl anymore - I was never particularly good at that game. My wife and prior girlfriends practically had to hit me over the head before I realized they were interested!
Torn blue sky
New member
lol lol lol ditto! I bet we\'re not the only ones either *looks around*
Same here. The woman I\'m seeing right now was interested in me, but I didn\'t even think that she\'d be interested in me. Fortunately a mutual friend of ours was able to get us together.
Following up on what Dave said: I wasn\'t even looking for a relationship when I started talking to her. My marriage had ended and I had just gotten over the garbage that went with that, so I wasn\'t even thinking about getting into another serious (or even semi-serious) relationship.
fieldarchy
New member
Ok see I\'ve heard so many guys say this but when I am blunt and ask a guy out they seem to be . . . afraid or something. I don\'t get it.
generulpoleaxe
New member
most men are like that lol
