Vivian Smith-Smythe-Smith has an O-level in chemo-hygiene.
Simon-Zinc-Trumpet-Harris, married to a very attractive table lamp.
Nigel Incubator-Jones, his best friend is a tree,
and in his spare time he\'s a stockbroker.
Gervaise Brook-Hampster is in the Guards,
and his father uses him as a wastepaper basket.
And finally Oliver St John-Mollusc,
Harrow and the Guards, thought by many to be this year\'s outstanding twit.