Her thighs were geese, pythons, schooners.

[Naukhel]

I\'d like an order of jumbled sentences with a side of mixed metaphors, please...

Love the fan art pieces.

Needed a good laugh. Thanks.

 

[miniDrake]

My God that was as bad as black ink spewed from the anal passage of a large sea worm, like the demonic child regurgitating black oil upon the pale white, alabaster, cracked veined marble of a heaving bosom. Like towers of jelly that wobbled, shook and shuddered underneath the sheer force of the bile erupting from a deep sea chasm. Like snot being blown into a week-old hankie, like the sinking sun dipping its toe into a pool of jet black eels.

See anyone can write crap, just because you can does not mean you should.

 

[A Luna]

Origineel geplaatst door miniDrake
My God that was as bad as black ink spewed from the anal passage of a large sea worm, like the demonic child regurgitating black oil upon the pale white, alabaster, cracked veined marble of a heaving bosom. Like towers of jelly that wobbled, shook and shuddered underneath the sheer force of the bile erupting from a deep sea chasm. Like snot being blown into a week-old hankie, like the sinking sun dipping its toe into a pool of jet black eels.

See anyone can write crap, just because you can does not mean you should.

I got myself a new Sig!

A long read for me (I dislike reading) and now you can see why I dislike reading... crappy stuff

 

[supervike]

I followed this Link to the Amazon site, where you can buy your own copy! But, this is one of the \'Literary reviews\' left.



\"Ron Miller is unfairly talented.\" -- Sir Arthur C Clarke

 

[Roger Bunting]

Originally posted by miniDrake
My God that was as bad as black ink spewed from the anal passage of a large sea worm, like the demonic child regurgitating black oil upon the pale white, alabaster, cracked veined marble of a heaving bosom. Like towers of jelly that wobbled, shook and shuddered underneath the sheer force of the bile erupting from a deep sea chasm. Like snot being blown into a week-old hankie, like the sinking sun dipping its toe into a pool of jet black eels.

See anyone can write crap, just because you can does not mean you should.

Actually that made more sense than the drivel from that book.

 

[supervike]

I don\'t get it.

I did a bit more research on the author, and not only does he write for a living, he seems SUCCESSFUL at it!!

Seriously, how can that be?

 

[Roger Bunting]

Here\'s his official website.

http://www.black-cat-studios.com/

Apparently he was the production illustrator on Dune and Total Recall.

Oh, and that crap we\'ve now read is a trilogy!

 

[Naukhel]

I suspect Sir A.C. Clarke was mis-quoted.

\"Ron Miller is fairly un-talented.\" seems more like what it should say, to me.

 

[Amazon warrior]

@supervike: Boggles the mind, doesn\'t it?

Originally posted by Roger Bunting
Here\'s his official website.

http://www.black-cat-studios.com/

Apparently he was the production illustrator on Dune and Total Recall.

Oh, and that crap we\'ve now read is a trilogy!

Yeah, I know. I couldn\'t believe it either. I could almost, almost forgive the publisher for turning out such a pile of poo once - I could write it off as a Friday afternoon \"special\" or something - but three? Something\'s wrong there!

@nauhakel: rotflmao!

 

[freakinacage]

my head still hurts

 

[Harok]

I lol\'d.

 

[evil tendencies]

They could market it as a toilet-top book:

\"Ron Miller is a special writer. With this book in your hands, you\'ll have every incentive in the world to do your business in a timely fashion - maybe faster.\"

:innocent:

 

[Amazon warrior]

Originally posted by evil tendencies
They could market it as a toilet-top book:

\"Ron Miller is a special writer. With this book in your hands, you\'ll have every incentive in the world to do your business in a timely fashion - maybe faster.\"

:innocent:

lol And once you\'re done, there\'s another use you can put the pages to! :innocent:

 

[Pictish Mini Painting]

This made me lol.

Just throw another few more metaphors and similies in their for good measure.

and the picture in the fan art made me laugh...quite loudly in the office :redface:

Nothing like badly written fantasy porn!

 

[Crackpot]

OMG! I had to open an english dictionary in an other task to look up all the metaphors. Normaly I have no problem reading english, but that guy distended it!

 

[Ritual]

Originally posted by Crackpot
OMG! I had to open an english dictionary in an other task to look up all the metaphors. Normaly I have no problem reading english, but that guy distended it!

Was it really worth the effort? lol

 

[freakinacage]

Originally posted by Crackpot
OMG! I had to open an english dictionary in an other task to look up all the metaphors. Normaly I have no problem reading english, but that guy distended it!

don\'t worry i struggled too!

*edit* just found more bad writing:

*edit2* more bad writing!