Idiot Sightings!!

JesterzUSMC

Recovering Megalomaniac
I know, like I don\'t start enough, but really it does kind of go with most of what we end up talking about, no matter what the thread started as...

:IDIOT SIGHTING :
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a \"large\" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, \"Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.\" I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, \"NO, it\'s not.\" Four is larger than two..\"

We haven\'t used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald\'s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, \"you gave me too much money.\" I said, \"Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.\" She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said \"We\'re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.\" The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald\'s.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: \"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don\'t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.\"

From Kingman , KS .


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE :
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for \"minimal lettuce.\" He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, \"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?\" To which I replied, \"If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?\" He smiled knowingly and nodded, \"That\'s why we ask.\"
Happened in Birmingham , Ala .


IDIOT SIGHTING :
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it\'s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, \"What on earth are blind people doing driving?!\"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS


IDIOT SIGHTING :
We were at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to \"downsizing.\" Our manager commented cheerfully, \"This is fun. We should do this more often.\" Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments .


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn\'t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. \"Hey,\" I announced to the technician, \"it\'s open!\"
His reply, \"I know. I already got that side.\"

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , Mississippi




STAY ALERT!

They walk among us.. and the really scary part is that they VOTE and they REPRODUCE.
 

Undave

Flockwit
True story:

I went into a card shop in Coventry and bought a card and a cuddly doggie for the Mrs for Valentines day. All in all it came to about £14.

After the cashier had totalled up my stuff I handed over my bank card. She swiped it and pressed some buttons, then an odd look came across her face. I got the slip to sign and noticed that it said REFUND....

Fair enough, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth I signed it and gave it back to her....

She then proceeds to open the cash draw and hand me £14 in cash :eek:

So not only did I get the card and the toy without paying but I got a refund for the full amount into my bank account and the same amount AGAIN in cash in my pocket.


I just wish I\'d spent more.......
 

skeeve

Member
Originally posted by JesterzUSMC

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald\'s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, \"you gave me too much money.\" I said, \"Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.\" She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said \"We\'re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.\" The clerk then proceeded to give me back$1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McDonald\'s.

1). Exactly the same happened to me in KFC in New York about a week ago.

2). My son got a homework assignment in our local school. The point of this assignment was to tell people about yourself and also improve quantitative reasoning.
In order to do this he was asked to make a single bar-graph that has \"categories of activities\" on one side and number of.... on the other. The following categories were suggested \"number of pets\", \"hours per day you spend watching TV\", \"number of books you red during the summer\" , \"hours per day you play videogames\"...

Took us about two hours to explain to his Math teacher why this assignment makes no sense
 

Sand Rat

New member
This would be too easy - I work tech support.

Lady calls and says \"My TV says the channel will be available in 4 hours. The cable company says its the TV not getting a picture\"

Agent - \"Mam - the TV is working call the cable people back\"

Customer \"THE CABLE PEOPLE TOLD ME YOU WOULD SAY THAT!! THEY SWEAR THE SIGNAL WILL BE UP IN FOUR HOURS BUT I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW!!\"
 

No Such Agency

New member
A sighting yesterday:

Ambulance approaching up the street, siren wailing. Ahead of it, the right-hand lane is empty. There\'s a line of cars in the left hand lane, behind someone waiting to turn. The law says you have to pull over to the right, but they stay put.

Except the last car, which pulls into the right lane, beside the other cars... and STOPS.

The ambulance had to veer into the oncoming lane, which was fortunately empty.
 

skeeve

Member
another one

Couple of days ago I opened my mail-box and found an e-mail from some our local guy that was over 1 Mb big. I oppened it thinking it is something important.... it was a 25 words long Christmas party announcement that was embedded into 1 Mb uncompressed .jpg file.
In addition to that it was a mass e-mail that went to ~250 people.
 

Shawn R. L.

New member
I went into a local frame shop to see if I could buy a length of framing material. The guy says: \"what are you going to do with it\"? I thought, what a dumb question and responded :\"I\'m going to build a bike out of it\".lol He failed to see the humor....
 

farseerlum

New member
was at the shopping center today getting a present gift wrapped.

and the little old dear says \"oooh this will make a lovely christmas present for someone!\"

so i say \"really? could i get that wrapping changed to christmas paper then?\"

of course the little old duck was using christmas paper and had mental shutdown for at least a whole minute before going off to consult with the other old ducks about it.

they decided to use a different christmas paper. lol i gave them an extra tip.:rolleyes:
 

Torn blue sky

New member
I wish I had an analogy to add, but i\'m so attuned to seeing idiocy in it\'s finest forms every day I learned how to block it out lol
The most they get out of me is a muttered *f**king eejit*
 

Einion

New member
Was tootling around in one of the local Tescos a few weeks back, saw a good two-for-one promotion on Australian Eucalyptus honey which is a no-brainer as far as I\'m concerned so I went for it.

Idly checking my receipt after paying (it\'s not that I don\'t trust them :D) I saw the deduction hadn\'t been made so I had to head over to the Customer Service desk.

After the inevitable long wait the girl behind the counter scans the barcode, doesn\'t see the promotion listed in the computer\'s memory so she has to go and check the shelf herself. Comes back a few minutes later, hits a few keys and then pays me back the difference, right? Well actually she handed me back the full price of both bottles of honey, which I also had; and I thought I was mathematically challenged!

Einion
 

Aria Amberhawk

New member
True story.

I was around 5 or 6 years old when my mom brought me to our dentist to get my teeth cleaned about a week or so before Christmas.

After my session was over and we were about to leave, I wished him a \"Merry Christmas\".

My mom\'s cheeks turned red as she nervously informed me that my dentist was Jewish.

Being young and ignorant to the ways of religious belief, I thought for a moment before hesitantly replying: \"Happy Christmas....?\"

Yes, I was the idiot.:)
 

mattrock

New member
I\'m an asset manager at a major US bank. I see so many species of stupid I could create an exhibit.

The other day a lady came to the motor bank and asked one of the tellers to cash a check for her. The check was an obvious forgery and the lady\'s account with the bank was already overdrawn nearly 5k. The teller told her she wouldn\'t be able to do it.

The lady was genuinely offended and began to berate the teller so loudly over the intercom system that I could hear it on the other side of the bank lobby. As the teller tried in vain to calm the lady down I made my way over to the vacuum tubes and as I arrived the lady yells: \" Look, if you can\'t help me, then go get someone who can!!\".

I calmly asked the teller to step aside, placed the business card of a banker from a competitor bank in the tube, along with that of a psychiatrist client of mine, sent it out to her and told her that I thought that those were probably the guys she was looking for. :moon:
 

DrEvilmonki

Active member
A friend of mine worked for Telecom (our largest telephone company in NZ). While discussing a contract with a customer he told him it would be a 24 month contract.

The customer asked him how many years would that be.
 

fieldarchy

New member
So, even though I\'m an Academic Counselor it is still very much a customer service position.

Yesterday at work, I got a call from a student. He asked me to give him a comparison of our Master of Management degree to a Master of Art in Management. I told him he was thinking of the same degree. There is no difference and in fact our management degree is just Master of Management (no art or science distinction).

He then said he had misworded his request and he wanted me to give him a comparision of University of Phoenix\'s Master of Management to any/every other Master of Management degree.

He then proceeded to get a little irritated when I told him that was impossible and if he had a school in mind then he could get their information and compare it to the information he already has from us.

Yeah . . . nothing else I can do there buddy.

Then his next question is whether or not I know the name of the person who works for University of Phoenix who recruits at the local post offices. There are over 200 employees on our campus alone . . . and I have no idea who the recruiters are. That\'s not what I do.

Let\'s see what are others I\'ve gotten . . . I once got a call when I was working at Arizona State that was very odd. The guy wanted to donate his testicles to science and he had heard that we were currently accepting testicular donations. Ummmm . . . yeah . . . sure . . . k

Now for overall general idiot sightings. Is it just me or do many people in grocery stores not seem to understand that when they push a cart (or even baby stroller) they have an extension of themselves protruding a couple of feet ahead? They always seem so surprised when they come barreling out of an aisle to see that they almost hit me. Slow down, it\'s not a race, the food will still be there, now don\'t kill me in the process!!!

Or how about those people (this is an epidemic in Texas too) that when you are merging on to the interstate or freeway, you have your signal on they don\'t let you in and you end up not being able to merge on to the freeway, instead you exit some other street because they wouldn\'t let you in. Or the people who are behind you in a lane, you start signalling that you want to merge left, but they decide you are too slow for them and as you start to merge left they do as well only to speed up and go around you. Does that really help you out there?! No!
 

mattrock

New member
I grew up and still live in Houston. I learned at an early age that if they refuse to let you merge, you can \"encourage\" them to move by doing so anyway.
 

supervike

Super Moderator
A lady I work with saw an classified ad in the paper for a Free Standing Stove.

She drug her husband along to the home, and upon seeing the stove, loved it. After some effort they finally got it loaded up in the truck and were about to leave when the stove owner says....

\"Uh, you forgot to pay me.\"

\"The ad says it was FREE!\" my lady friend says.

The husband had to unload the whole thing in extreme embarrassment....
 

Baz

Member
back when I was working for a sattelite tv company we had a woman call up and ask if she could get satellite installed without a dish because she didn\'t want to ruin the look of her house.???
I informed her that it was necessary and she repeatedly stated that she had neighbours who had it. I asked if maybe this was cable and she was pretty adamant that it wasn\'t. She hung up when I urged her to rush off and photograph this fantastical future tech and send it to NASA asap!
 

krokar

New member
Man some old ladies are either very stupid or as we all feared.... evil!

i went to the shop ( was with 2 of my friends) and bought about £3.50\'s worth of munch so i handed her a £5 note.... she then said thats £3.50 please and i thought.... hang on
so i reminded her i gave her a £5, she then started having a argument with me and started yelling and screaming, i was laid back the hole time ( my friends laughing their ass\'s off at the doorway) she then shouted \" get out of my shop\" worried she was gonna transform into satarn i just walked out....

thought to myself she must be on her luna then i realised.... shes like 90 so to this day im puzzled if shes just evil or losing it :S
 
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