<p>I am utterly unemployed.</p><p>This will be the start of my autobiography. In a world of working people there is no job for me. Actually that would make a great movie... I can see the trailer now:</p><p><em>"In a world...</em></p><p><em>(Picture of the Herne train station)</em></p><p><em>...where people work to survive....</em></p><p><em>(cut to random shop. An employee stocks shelfs)</em></p><p><em>...one man...</em></p><p><em>(Cut to another shop. I am standing in an office, handing my resumee to a store manager)</em></p><p><em>...will find that his dreams of survival...</em></p><p><em>(Cut to me on the phone, looking flabberghasted. My text: "A homeless alcoholic who smells like vomit got my job?"
</em></p><p><em>...can be dashed to the ground in a second.</em></p><p><em>(Me on my bed, staring into nothing. Beside me my university bill.)</em></p><p><em>Mosch...</em></p><p><em>(Short scene of me typing up another application)</em></p><p><em>...Sakura...</em></p><p><em>(Sakura has me in her arms, saying "Hey, you'll find work soon enough"</em></p><p><em>...and the head of the Ruhr-University Bochum...</em></p><p><em>(Scene of the senate of thr Ruhr-University. One man says "He claims that he can't pay. It's ridiculous! Young people simply don't want to work."</em></p><p><em>...in...</em></p><p><em>(Scene of me on the Herne station. I am wearing a suit and sunglasses. The camera zooms in on my face. My text: "it begins... again."</em></p><p><em>JOBLESS.</em></p><p><em>(Title screen)</em></p><p><em>Three years of absolute disappointment. A movie by Uwe Boll."</em><br /></p><p>Seriously, why am I so unemployable? I am fairly young. I am prepared to do pretty much any job you throw at me. I don't want to earn much, just enough to pay my university fees. I can program in 5 different languages, I speak English, German and Latin, I have good grades and a healthy work ethic. I am prepared to do hard work for low pay. I have not found a job in three years.</p><p>Seriously, all I want is a job on the side so I can actually finish my studies and apply for a job. Kind of a paradox really.</p><p> Work on the telephone? Women only please. Selling bacon? We want women. Computer maintenance? That's a job for women. I did not make this up; these are real examples that happened to me.I tried. I applied for pretty much every single job advertised... must have been more than 200 applications - for a simple "do it on the side" kind of job, remember - and not a single job. Many reject me because I have the wrong gender - everybody wants women. Shop staff? Women. Other people just decide they don't want to employ anybody AT ALL. Why in the name of all that is holy do you pay for three advertisements in three single newspapers, all stating that you are looking for people to employ <em>if you actually have no intent to employ anybody?</em></p><p>My two recent disappointments are Gamestop and a car wash.</p><p>I know, washing cars sucks, especially if you get paid about 6$ an hour and you are told from the beginning that there will be no bonuses whatsoever. I still said I'd do it. I was asked to come back today at two for a preview. I was there at half past one. I asked for my supervisor. I got told that he, along with the woman who took my application, got fired because they wanted to "thin the workforce".</p><p>I went home and got my application for a new Gamestop shop that opened here just thursday last week. I give them my resumee; I figured that with my encyclopedic knowledge of video games (why yes, I AM a huge nerd, thanks for noticing) and my experience in dealing with customers would give me the edge. Nope, verbal kick in the nuts basically. I was told that there are already so many applications that I am totally not interesting for them but he'll take my application and resumee anyway (for a laugh I supose, because basically I was told that I have no chance in hell to get that job).</p><p>My parents give me 100€ "allowance" per month. I get money on my birthday and I get money on christmas. My grandparents give me an allowance. Sometimes I do some trranslation work for neighbours and friends or I do some computer maintenance stuff. I do not want to take money from neighbours and friends, but I get it anyway. I can barely pay my university bills if I save everything.<br /></p><p>I have a maximum of 2€ to spend freely each month.</p>
</em></p><p><em>...can be dashed to the ground in a second.</em></p><p><em>(Me on my bed, staring into nothing. Beside me my university bill.)</em></p><p><em>Mosch...</em></p><p><em>(Short scene of me typing up another application)</em></p><p><em>...Sakura...</em></p><p><em>(Sakura has me in her arms, saying "Hey, you'll find work soon enough"</em></p><p><em>...and the head of the Ruhr-University Bochum...</em></p><p><em>(Scene of the senate of thr Ruhr-University. One man says "He claims that he can't pay. It's ridiculous! Young people simply don't want to work."</em></p><p><em>...in...</em></p><p><em>(Scene of me on the Herne station. I am wearing a suit and sunglasses. The camera zooms in on my face. My text: "it begins... again."</em></p><p><em>JOBLESS.</em></p><p><em>(Title screen)</em></p><p><em>Three years of absolute disappointment. A movie by Uwe Boll."</em><br /></p><p>Seriously, why am I so unemployable? I am fairly young. I am prepared to do pretty much any job you throw at me. I don't want to earn much, just enough to pay my university fees. I can program in 5 different languages, I speak English, German and Latin, I have good grades and a healthy work ethic. I am prepared to do hard work for low pay. I have not found a job in three years.</p><p>Seriously, all I want is a job on the side so I can actually finish my studies and apply for a job. Kind of a paradox really.</p><p> Work on the telephone? Women only please. Selling bacon? We want women. Computer maintenance? That's a job for women. I did not make this up; these are real examples that happened to me.I tried. I applied for pretty much every single job advertised... must have been more than 200 applications - for a simple "do it on the side" kind of job, remember - and not a single job. Many reject me because I have the wrong gender - everybody wants women. Shop staff? Women. Other people just decide they don't want to employ anybody AT ALL. Why in the name of all that is holy do you pay for three advertisements in three single newspapers, all stating that you are looking for people to employ <em>if you actually have no intent to employ anybody?</em></p><p>My two recent disappointments are Gamestop and a car wash.</p><p>I know, washing cars sucks, especially if you get paid about 6$ an hour and you are told from the beginning that there will be no bonuses whatsoever. I still said I'd do it. I was asked to come back today at two for a preview. I was there at half past one. I asked for my supervisor. I got told that he, along with the woman who took my application, got fired because they wanted to "thin the workforce".</p><p>I went home and got my application for a new Gamestop shop that opened here just thursday last week. I give them my resumee; I figured that with my encyclopedic knowledge of video games (why yes, I AM a huge nerd, thanks for noticing) and my experience in dealing with customers would give me the edge. Nope, verbal kick in the nuts basically. I was told that there are already so many applications that I am totally not interesting for them but he'll take my application and resumee anyway (for a laugh I supose, because basically I was told that I have no chance in hell to get that job).</p><p>My parents give me 100€ "allowance" per month. I get money on my birthday and I get money on christmas. My grandparents give me an allowance. Sometimes I do some trranslation work for neighbours and friends or I do some computer maintenance stuff. I do not want to take money from neighbours and friends, but I get it anyway. I can barely pay my university bills if I save everything.<br /></p><p>I have a maximum of 2€ to spend freely each month.</p>