lizcam\'s sagelike advice triumphs again

U

uberdark

New member
so here is the story.

david my four year old son gets four time outs at daycare. his teacher tells me what he did. running around, pinched a girls butt, (i honestly think he got that one from me the night b4 when i did that jokingly to mrs. dark :redface: ) and not listening.

so here is where liz comes in.

she mentioned how she did this a week ago.

david called up each grandparent and told them what he did and each one got on his case. by the time he got to grandma and grandpa gamble he had lost it and was crying. we stopped there and then he had to write an apology letter and finally he could not play wii and had to eat spinach for dinner.

suffice to say he woke up this morning and said,\"today will be a good day daddy, i learned my lesson.\" i then said i was glad he did. he said \"yeah, and last night i decided to go to bed the right way (i.e. not kicking and screaming) cause i knew that would make you happy.\" this just put a huge smile on my face.

i hope he has learned from this mistake and i thank liz for her own story and idea that helped me along.

cheers

uber
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
<takes a bow>

Your welcome Ubie. Never underestimate the power of shame in a small child.

Don\'t over use this one. Save it for the really big stuff or it will lose it\'s power.

For the smaller stuff get a bag of dried white beans and dried black beans. Take all his toys away (including the beloved Wii) and lock them in a closet/room somewhere. Leave him his books and drawing supplies because we don\'t want to be cruel, you know. This will not be easy. He will kick and scream but lock away every little happy meal toy. We have to be cruel to be kind.

Every time he does something good or follows you instructions durring the day put a white bean in a jar (I put in beans just for general good behavior like not waking me up when I was napping or not talking at the top of his lungs). Bad things get a black. At the end of each day have him count (with your help at this age) how many of each he has. If the white outweigh the black he gets to take 1 toy out of the closet/room. If black is more he has to put something back. If they are the same nothing changes.

This will teach him a number of things. First, self monitering. He\'ll learn to realise when he\'s about to be bad and may learn some self control.

Second how to count.

Third, that Dad and Mom are fair people who reward as well as punish.

An added benefit is that there will come a point will he won\'t care about anything left in the room. At that point you know what to get rid of to make room for Christmas.

We had to do this at least once a year between ages of 4 and 8 but it does work and keeps you from having to pull your hair out all the time.

Oh and Duckie......Yes, I am a sneaky woman. Remember that. It might save you some heart ache later!

;)
 
L

Logan

New member
Good for you Uber. A parent who takes responsibility and doesn\'t make a million and one excuses, ultimately blaming it on society!
You\'ll reap the benefits of actions like this in 10 years time.

No Wii? - oof, you monster lol
 
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