Need Advice from married/engaged gamers
- Thread starter TheDoctor
- Start date
BloodFather of Kharnath
Active member
...certainly don't say, "...I hope you get sent to a Gulag in Siberia where you get gang raped every day as soon as you come out of the coal mines and then your uterus spontaneously explodes." I lost a favorite hooker over this she didn't even respond when I tried to make up with her when I gifted her a complimentary Herpes exam. I know, what a B, right?
OK
Drawing the line now, gentlemen! Drawing the line!
Drawing the line now, gentlemen! Drawing the line!
Webmonkey
New member
Just a wee bit,...:laugh:
But if you really wanna see a thread get derailed,.. with this crew,.. just start tossing out random bad puns. Once it starts, it never stops.
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Webmonkey
New member
You're right,.. I started it. I apologize. It got a bit "left field" there for a second.
KruleBear
Active member
Webmonkey
New member
Well,.. let's face it. Most men never advance beyond 12 yrs old,.. 15 at the outside most. And this hobby in particular,.. well, it's the equivalent of fully grown men still playing with little green army guys. Most of us never really did grow up completely.
corrinavatan
New member
Getting back on topic, I guess I'm a bit taken aback, as someone who is married and who likes the hobby, by this. I'm wondering if it really is "You don't spend enough time with me" and not "I associate this hobby with losers, but don't want to hurt your feelings, so I'll claim it's about spending time with me." I've never gotten that from my wife, but I've gotten it from some of her friends... who then shut up when they realize I get paid money for some of the "hobby" I do.
Again, if she has a hobby of her own, getting her to relate to that might help her come around. If she apparently has no "alone" hobbies, but rather all of her hobbies basically involve social interaction, then it might be harder. But everyone needs to understand that the quickest way to end a marriage, is to make sure you spend every waking hour together.
My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and had been dating/engaged for five years before that. However, each one of us has always maintained a "me only" hobby, and we understand that it's important for the other. Often, we've gotten involved in each other's hobbies in a healthy way, but each of us respects the other when we go off and do our own thing.
Again, if she has a hobby of her own, getting her to relate to that might help her come around. If she apparently has no "alone" hobbies, but rather all of her hobbies basically involve social interaction, then it might be harder. But everyone needs to understand that the quickest way to end a marriage, is to make sure you spend every waking hour together.
My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and had been dating/engaged for five years before that. However, each one of us has always maintained a "me only" hobby, and we understand that it's important for the other. Often, we've gotten involved in each other's hobbies in a healthy way, but each of us respects the other when we go off and do our own thing.
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PegaZus
Stealth Freak
'Scuse me a moment. Gonna go kiss the wife.
Now, as to OP's original question, take advice from a page back and expanding: Try not to speak in terms of "you". Use "I". "You always hate my hobby"? No, no, no. "I want to paint some". "I would love to do something together, what do you suggest?". "I'm just unwinding from work". Etc. "You" is a little blade that is the slow blade that passes through the shield.
Wait. That's Dune.
Anyway, I wish you luck. And to totally brag, my wife is constantly suggesting I paint more often, and sometimes worries that I don't buy enough minis when I'm in a buying mood.
Yeah. Serious. That's why the kiss at the start.
Now, as to OP's original question, take advice from a page back and expanding: Try not to speak in terms of "you". Use "I". "You always hate my hobby"? No, no, no. "I want to paint some". "I would love to do something together, what do you suggest?". "I'm just unwinding from work". Etc. "You" is a little blade that is the slow blade that passes through the shield.
Wait. That's Dune.
Anyway, I wish you luck. And to totally brag, my wife is constantly suggesting I paint more often, and sometimes worries that I don't buy enough minis when I'm in a buying mood.
Yeah. Serious. That's why the kiss at the start.
BloodFather of Kharnath
Active member
*Also hangs head in shame.
"Gee, Mister. We're awfully sorry. I didn't mean to get out of hand. It's just, no one laughed at my "dilute your paint for a better love life" bit, so before I knew it I was banishing people to Siberian rape camps. I'm putting myself in timeout for the next ten minutes while I think about what I did....
BloodFather of Kharnath
Active member
I liked your suggestion to up my game and create pure beauty, but I already have a Crystal Brush, so I don't think that's the issue. I've got a plan in the works that will start with a conversation and end with a home renovation.
Thank you all for the good, and bad, advice.....including the puns. I think.
Thank you all for the good, and bad, advice.....including the puns. I think.
BloodFather of Kharnath
Active member
Do Crystal Brush winners get groupies? They do get groupies, right?
Groupies or Stalkers?
Its a very fine line.....approximately 50 metres according to the restraining orders.
laurence
Brushlover
Lot's of good advice here. Finding a nice healthy balance between hobby time and time wit da missus is a start. If you're spending 5 hours gaming and then one hour with your lady, then I can see how she'd be thinking, "This handsome guy loves his miniatures more than he loves me!" Earn your hobby time? For example, bringing her brekky in bead gains you an hour farting around in the hobby room.
Sounds like your better half doesn't have any hobbies/activities that she does in her own free time. Maybe introduce her to some stuff she could be doing? Crochet?
Everything will work out fine and I'm sure you won't have to quit your hobby to maintain a good happy and loving relationship with your good woman.
Sounds like your better half doesn't have any hobbies/activities that she does in her own free time. Maybe introduce her to some stuff she could be doing? Crochet?
Everything will work out fine and I'm sure you won't have to quit your hobby to maintain a good happy and loving relationship with your good woman.
Jamie Stokes
New member
Lots of good advice, mixed in with thread hijacking and plain derailment......
My wife likes a clean house, and so long as I get my chores done first (trust me, no spouse was ever shot by a wife while he was washing the dishes) and I spend some quality time with her first, then I'll get man cave time.
You have to give to get, basically. Help her out, so you both clear tasks out of the way, and she'll appreciate both the help and the time together.
I've asked my wife for input on figures I've been painting, and the involvement helps.
There are times when I'd much rather be at the work bench, however, I put that to one side as I invest time and emotion in my marriage, if I ever stab myself with a scalpel, trip over the garden shovel, what ever, she'll be the one driving me the hospital, not my miniature figures.
however, I expressed to my wife that I need this time to keep myself balanced and grounded.....
communicate, communicate, communicate, and use the 'us' word for the future and 'I feel' when expressing your point of view. Acknowledge her point of view, and the feelings attached.
Good luck!
cheers
Jamie
My wife likes a clean house, and so long as I get my chores done first (trust me, no spouse was ever shot by a wife while he was washing the dishes) and I spend some quality time with her first, then I'll get man cave time.
You have to give to get, basically. Help her out, so you both clear tasks out of the way, and she'll appreciate both the help and the time together.
I've asked my wife for input on figures I've been painting, and the involvement helps.
There are times when I'd much rather be at the work bench, however, I put that to one side as I invest time and emotion in my marriage, if I ever stab myself with a scalpel, trip over the garden shovel, what ever, she'll be the one driving me the hospital, not my miniature figures.
however, I expressed to my wife that I need this time to keep myself balanced and grounded.....
communicate, communicate, communicate, and use the 'us' word for the future and 'I feel' when expressing your point of view. Acknowledge her point of view, and the feelings attached.
Good luck!
cheers
Jamie
