Never assume anything.......

[mattrock]

Originally posted by Godlikebuthumble

Orginal gepostet von mattsterbenz
Ah, here\'s a good one:

A guy walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

I giggled like a madman at this. Does that make me a horrible person?

I have to admit I cracked up on this one too. It\'s just the kind of twisted humor that makes my world go \'round.

 

[mattrock]

Originally posted by donga666
This is turning into a Joke thread.

Not that that\'s a problem

That\'s what we all love about you, Donga...you\'re always so quick on the uptake. lol

 

[Naukhel]

So, I was riding the bus the other day, and found myself sitting next to a
beautiful blonde woman who was looking somewhat distraught.
I asked her what was wrong, and she said her therapist had just told her he
would no longer be seeing her, without specifying reasons. I asked her why she
was seeing a therapist, because she seemed perfectly normal to me.
Hesitantly, she confided in me (because sometimes it\'s good to unburden yourself
to a total stranger on the bus). \"I\'m a nymphomaniac, but I\'m only attracted to
jewish cowboys.\"
\"That\'s bizarre,\" I said, sincerely. \"I should introduce myself. My name is
Bucky Goldstein.\"

 

[airhead]

now THAT\'s funny.
:flip:

 

[Shawn R. L.]

Originally posted by Naukhel
So, I was riding the bus the other day, and found myself sitting next to a
beautiful blonde woman who was looking somewhat distraught.
I asked her what was wrong, and she said her therapist had just told her he
would no longer be seeing her, without specifying reasons. I asked her why she
was seeing a therapist, because she seemed perfectly normal to me.
Hesitantly, she confided in me (because sometimes it\'s good to unburden yourself
to a total stranger on the bus). \"I\'m a nymphomaniac, but I\'m only attracted to
jewish cowboys.\"
\"That\'s bizarre,\" I said, sincerely. \"I should introduce myself. My name is
Bucky Goldstein.\"

BWAAAA HA HA HA!!! MAZEL TOV!!

Two cows are talking (could happen....). One says - \"boy, that mad cow disease thing has me kind of scared.\" the other says - \"Yeah, I know what you mean, makes me glad I\'m a penguin\".

 

[War Griffon]

I just received this in an e-mail and thought it was very topical given the title of this thread

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, \'Please,may I hide under your skirt. I\'ll explain later.\'

The nun agreed. A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, Sister, have you seen a soldier?\'

The nun replied, \'He went that way.\'

After the MP\'s ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, \'I can\'t thank you enough Sister. You see, I don\'t want to go to Iraq...\'

The nun said, \'I understand completely.\'

The soldier added, \'I hope I\'m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!\'

The nun replied, \'If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls....I don\'t want to go to Iraq either.\'

 

[PegaZus]

Might as well pile on this joke (although, I may have actually gotten it here from a previous joke thread):

A nun, a donkey, and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The bartender looks up over the bar and says,

\"What is this, some kind of a joke?\"

 

[Swordwind]

The husband of one of my mums friends was killed by a bull elephant at Chester zoo. Swatted him out of the way with its trunk and smashed his head wide open.


Not to be Buzz Killington or anything

Edit: Holy crap! I googled \"chester zoo keeper killed by elephant\" to see if there was anything about it on the internet and came up with this BBC report. The elephant had an painful foot condition