OMG what a bomb shell

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War Griffon

New member
I have been reading the threads of life good and bad the last few days and thought everybody is doing OK with their odd problems here and there and that my life is sort of toddling along in its own little way then all of a sudden this morning I had a bomb shell drop...

I have a son who is now 21 (from a relationship obviously a long time ago which turned very bad very quickly) and whom I have never seen what so ever not even when he was born (its a very long story).

This morning out of the blue I had a knock on the door and when I answered it a young lad was stood there and said he was looking for me so I said you have found him to which he replied \"Hello I\'m Andrew your son\"

OMG gob smacked or what anyway after a very pleasant chat and talking about things in general we have decided to keep in touch.

Sorry I have cut a lot out here as I am still shaking like hell and trying to get my head around it all nearly 2 hours after the event but thought I should share.
 
H

Highbulp Billy

New member
Thank the gods, some good news at last ;)

Seriously I\'m chuffed for you - especially as it sounds like it went well. I\'m sure you\'ll both get a lot out of the time you get to share together from now on.
 
Avelorn

Avelorn

Sven Jonsson
Sounds excellent! I can\'t even watch those reunion programs on TV as they make me sob... :D
 
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War Griffon

New member
Avalon, I am the same when it comes to those TV re-unions, I can\'t even listen to the \"Last Post\" at Rememberance services without crying let alone the song \"Amazing Grace\" at funerals and don\'t even mention the subtittles or the start of Lassie programs.
But when it actually happens out of the blue the shock doesn\'t leave you the chance for that.
 
Dragon Forge Design

Dragon Forge Design

New member
wow.. thats actually pretty amazing for something like that to happen. I hope things work out well for the two of you.

This sort happened to a friend of mine years ago, it wasn\'t that he found out he had kids he didn\'t know of he found out he had a sister he didn\'t know about. His father passed and at his funeral he found out his father had had a fairly long on going affair in which he had the daughter who turned out to be my friends 1/2 sister. They have got along well since then.
 
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War Griffon

New member
Thanks Jeff, I knew about him as I had been paying maintenance for 19 years of his life but everytime his mother took me to court she always had a tantrum and said he didn\'t want to see me or have anything to do with me. Now I find out he has been trying to find me for nearly three years.
 
Dragon Forge Design

Dragon Forge Design

New member
Originally posted by War Griffon
Thanks Jeff, I knew about him as I had been paying maintenance for 19 years of his life but everytime his mother took me to court she always had a tantrum and said he didn\'t want to see me or have anything to do with me. Now I find out he has been trying to find me for nearly three years.
Click to expand...

Thats really cool. I have friends who\'s ex wives are doing the same thing to them now. At least in the states they are supposed to have visitation rights that are court ordered but their ex\'s do everything they can do disobey them.

It only hurts the child in the end.
 
Sand Rat

Sand Rat

New member
Congrats WG -

Course my first response would have been to look for Rod Sirling and ask him for a Lucky Strike, but I\'m a smart arse.


I really do hope things work out for you.
 
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mrrocknroll

New member
That sounds really cool make and I\'m happy that the sons actually found you. Now I hope your able to get a father son relationship going and enjoy some quality time with each other.
 
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Hinton

New member
Congratulations. It sounds like he\'s wanting to make an effort to get to know you and have some kind of relationship. Hope it all works out for you.
 
T

Torn blue sky

New member
Wow! Grats on that WG!

Although instead of teaching him how to ride a bike , he\'ll be teaching YOU stuff instead lol

I dunno eh? Old dogs and that :p
 
F

fieldarchy

New member
Dang WG! I can\'t imagine having done that to my birthmother!

I at least softened the blow a bit by mailing her a letter with my contact information in it. That way I said, \"Hi, this is who I am. If you want to give me a call that\'s great! If not, I understand that too!\"

My only advice, since I\'ve been on your son\'s side of this . . . take it very slow.

I ended up hanging out with my birthfamily a lot and my parents ended up taking issue with it. That also led to Leslie, my birthmother, sticking her nose where it didn\'t belong. There are still issues between me and my adoptive mother over this. She knows what Leslie stuck her nose in and why . . . but the way it appeared to me was that she slept with my boyfriend at the time. Apparently I have the story wrong but no one will tell me the real story or why my perception is off.

What else am I to think when she takes my boyfriend to another room in the middle of the night when I\'m sleeping on the couch and \"talks\" to him.

Anyway, just take it very slowly, respect his wishes, and make sure he respects your wishes. Things can get uncomfortable at times but always keep open lines of communication.

If that\'s what my birthmother and my adoptive mother had done with me I\'d probably still talk to Leslie and maybe have a better relationship with Mom.
 
Dragonsreach

Dragonsreach

Super Moderator
Staff member
Martyn;
I\'m so glad for you that he got in touch, but man that must have been one hell of a shock. I have the shakes for you just reading about that.

Well I think Fran & I will raise a glass to wish you both well.
 
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War Griffon

New member
Thanks for all the thoughts & comments people, very much appreciated. I think I am over the initial shock of him turning up at the door now although I am still unsure what I am going to say to him when we meet next.

Meg, he couldn\'t forewarn me because he didn\'t have my address. He knew the area I lived and as I am ex directry and the polling register is not kept at all post offices and only covers particular areas he phoned enquiries but was told I was ex directry and they couldn\'t give him any details so he asked if they would give him the street name and the idiot on the phone did (his words). So he drove down and decided after asking somebody in the street if they knew me and drew a blank that he would knock on a few doors.

Any way having talked again yesterday evening we are going to meet up again next Saturday for a good natter so we shall see where it goes from there.

Having not been around for 21 years of his life I can hardly become his father overnight but I would be more than happy to become a friend to him.
 
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