One of my worst days ever...i need good news

[Yramrag]

I have just had one of the worst days ever. Started off with finding out a good friend from work had a nephew who died from cot death. This nephew was the same age as his daughter and the same age as most of my nephews. So i am thinking for most of the day \"is it possible that that could happen to any of my nephews?\".
Later on i am at a friends house and we are talking and having some drinks. Everytime i am over there she is drinking champagne which i find very odd as i drink very little alcohol. I knew she had had a very bad relationship, but she proceeded to tell me more. I couldn\'t believe what he did to her. Then she drops a bombshell and tells me pretty much the worst news possible and that answers why she drinks how much she does. I am left feeling at rock bottom not only because of what is happening, but that i had a negative viewpoint of her and her drinking. Despite all the crap in her life, she is a happy, bright and exhuberent person.
Can someone please tell me things do get better because sitting here, i am on the verge of breaking down from what has happened in just 24 hours.

 

[james sequeira]

do some things to make your mind go elsewhere, , go out somewhere, go to the gym or have a run. Get it all out of your system before it eats you up, and you drink to stop feeling.

 

[Dragonsreach]

Sometimes you need to let go and if that means crying your eyes out, do it.
It\'s a natural release mechanism our bodies and mentality use to cope.

Trying to just \"Deal with it\" doesn\'t always work for everybody. There is a limit of Stress that we can each deal with and by the sounds of it you\'ve hit your limit hard in a very short period.

It sounds hard but if you have to help your friends then you may need to step away to get your breath before stepping back.

 

[No Such Agency]

Don\'t feel so bad for your friend. At least she has someone she can talk to

 

[Hands of blue]

I walk.

Broke up with my girlfriend this morning. I just walked until my feet started to hurt too much. Now I can\'t walk because of the pain but I\'m feeling much better and my thoughts are much clearer.

I\'m still pissed and depressed about it but at least I feel that I can get over this.

Do something, the worst thing you can do is to just sit and think about it.

 

[evil tendencies]

I\'ll tell you what I was told when I was diagnosed with depression:

Do not, absolutely do not, sit at home. Go somewhere - anywhere - that has people, and stay there as long as you can. My routine was usually to take a long walk to a nice restaurant, read a good book with your meal, and walk even slower on the way home. From what I understand, the endorphins from moving help with the sadness, while being around other people helps keep things in perspective.

And, like DR said, don\'t bottle anything up. Breaking down and crying is often a very healthy exercise, and many people end up worse for resisting it.

Best wishes on this.

 

[darklord]

i second what evil said, i when my depression gets bad i try to take my mind of it, exercise is good as said, playing a game or just talking to someone about inane things can help.
you should feel good that you were there for her when she needed someone, which is a positive thing. dont worry about your assumption on her drinking, we all make judgements about people based on what we know which often isnt the full story.
you sound like a good friend so remember that

 

[Onis Lair]

Hey Yramrag, sorry to hear how your day has went. But they are right about not bottling things up, just causes more stress, more worry and trouble then it\'s worth.

 

[Yramrag]

To all who responded thanks for your support. I spent the weekend doing stuff at my house. Didn\'t let myself stop so i choose to do the hardest and longest things i could think of to keep myself going.
And lots of cooking. I love it and it made me focus on building things and creating something of use.
My wife noticed i was not myself all weekend and knows me well enough to just give me a little space to breathe. Then on Sunday she goes and buys me a PSP and Crisis Core because she knows i have wanted it for a while, i have been doing really long hours at work and to make me smile. I nearly cried at how sweet she is. So back at work, not thinking about it much, but determined to support my friends in any way i possibly can.

 

[lizcam]

They do get better. Trust me. But often you have to take steps to MAKE them better. Not everything you can control and that\'s what you\'ve been running up against, but you can take those things you have control over and arrange them in such a way that you can take joy in THEM. It\'s not a lot sometimes but it gets you through.

 

[evil tendencies]

It\'s been a couple of days...have things improved?

 

[Yramrag]

Had i answered yesterday, i would have said \"yes, a lot\" but more stuff happened yesterday that makes me question human nature even more. I met one of my better friends last year just after she had broken up with her long time boyfriend. From what she told me i always thought he was a complete jerk, but she still loved him. Anyway they had broken up but he kept on seeing her for sex. I knew all this last year, and i kept telling her to stop it and move on. Anyway she has and seeing a really great guy now. However her new partner did something that made her freak out and when questioned about it, she explained the situation for why it disturbs her and that it all stems from actions her previous boyfriend did. At the end of it all i could say was \"That is pretty much rape.\"
Her parents loved her going out with her ex as he was a \"Good Christian boy\" and are disapproving of anyone who \"doesn\'t share your morals and values\".
Anyway i realise that all i can do is to be there for her as well, and last night was a bad time for her so i went and just hung out with her for a couple of hours and watched TV. Just tried to give her a time where she wassn\'t alone (she is house sitting) and able to not worry about anything. She sent me a text later saying that just being at the house and talking was more appreciated than i realised, so i feel ok for that and acknowledge that that is what i should continue to do.