Porn for the partially sighted.

[demonherald]

lollolI have had the amazingly great pleasure today of watching TV with that commentary ting for the partially sighted.You know the one where a voice over describes what is going on when noone is talking.

well the Programme was with our own bit of overrated Kitchen totty Nigella Lawson and if the BBC\'s aims to make her a Culinary sex mistress weren\'t blatantly clear to all the commentary left no doubts..

some of my avourites wre..

\"The sexy Nigella gives a come hither look as she coats the Breasts in the creamy sauce...\"

\"Sumptuous Nigella slowly runs her slende finger round the rim and removes the excess cream and slowly licks it off with a smile\"

\"The curvy Nigella offers her Blonde Friend A fishy Treat\"

\"The Sultry Nigellas Blond Friend smiles as she approves of the flavours on sexy nigellas fishy plate\"

\"The earthy Nigella firmly strokes the hard length of the Rolling pin\"

\"the shapely Nigella smiles wickedly as she rubs the rich cream into the breasts.\"

These are all actual quotes the voice over guy did..I couldn\'t help but laugh all the way through..God knows what she was cooking some chicken and fish thing but hell it was great.every time it mentioed her she had a new title.

I\'m off to check my sausage is Firm enough before coating it in a rich sauce and feeding it to my fiancee....(making a sausage srnie for dinner)
:beer:

 

[matty1001]

Originally posted by demonherald
\"The curvy Nigella offers her Blonde Friend A fishy Treat\"

\"The Sultry Nigellas Blond Friend smiles as she approves of the flavours on sexy nigellas fishy plate\"

ROFLMAO!!!! lollollollol

 

[DaN]

It just wouldn\'t work as well for Anthony \"Beardy\" Worral-Thompson...

<shudders> Yeuuuuch

EDIT: Reminds me - I used to prefer can\'t cook, won\'t cook, when Fern Britton did it

 

[supervike]

I think I\'ll go play with my cocktail weenie.

 

[Torn blue sky]

LMFAO!!! Now thats so very wrong on so many levels!

 

[Sand Rat]

Thank god it was Nigella and not the Two Fat Ladies ya\'ll foisted off on us Stateside a couple of years back

Urk!!

 

[Tahn]

Well, you can tell who the pervs are here on CMON; any one who has replied to this thread!

 

[Torn blue sky]

lol Perv

 

[MarkusTay]

Originally posted by supervike
I think I\'ll go play with my cocktail weenie.

Bwoom Chika Boom Boom

lol

Although the visual I get is most distressing.... :|~

 

[Highbulp Billy]

My question is how did this...

... make this?

??? There\'s one recipe I\'d like to get hold of lol

 

[MPJ]

Now I got a hankering for some chicken. :drunk:

 

[hakoMike]

\"It rubs the marinade on its chicken or it gets the hose again.\"

Is she picking at her fingernail in that picture? lol \"The Nigella seductively scrapes a small piece of cuticle from her slender fingers.\"

 

[demonherald]

he he....Two fat Ladies ..imagine it..

Fatty number one grabs the dough in a man like grip and starts to knead it feociously forcing it\'s shape as....oh no wait a minute it\'s fatty number two\'s ass she\'s got hold of.....aaaaaaaaaaaghh

 

[Torn blue sky]

lol But :|~ at the same time...

 

[wiccanpony]

lol they are going to run out of suggestive adjectives soon.


:innocent: perv??? now where would you get an idea like that :twisted:

 

[MarkusTay]

To answer your question Highbulp Billy. they had a good looking pool boy?

 

[Brimshack]

Since this is the appointed place for pervious posting, let me just mention that I would happy bake cakes with that Nigela woman any day of the week.

Actually, my real ambitions towards the woman involve only a little bit of flower, one egg, and a functioning model train.

...perhaps, I should end there.

 

[Torn blue sky]

. Do go on...
I mean now everyones interested

 

[Brimshack]

(Closing curtains now)

I want to be alone with Nigela.

 

[Ogrebane]

Mark me down as a perv then seeings how Ive now replied.