Rejected...

[GreenOne]

Yeah, It\'s 10am I\'m supposed to go to bed but I can\'t sleep, roomate is sleeping, so I\'ll talk here instead of talking to myself...

I\'ve been rejected once again today, I really though that something was going on, but I got rejected...
She won\'t even go out with me once just to see what could be possible, I can\'t see her outside work... It\'s not even \"let\'s stay friend.\"
I couldn\'t even make a freaking move she stopped me and said \"Now, your not really gonna make a move...\"
Wtf? I can\'t even try
That\'s twice in a row that the girl won\'t even let me ask her out... how bad can it be.

And why do girls lie in times like that ?

\"I really don\'t know what to say, I didn\'t expect that\" Bullshit, we HAVE been semi-flirting for too weeks, you know I\'m single, what did you expect?

\" I\'m reallly not looking for anything right now... I don\'t even have time for myself..\"
Redundant bullshit... If her hormones we\'re going on, she would hold a totally diffenrent discourse... Everitime a girl says that to me, she ends up with a BF in the following weeks...

I think the truth is I had her at a point, I did not react fast enough, she\'s gone...
That would piss me off, but at least that would be the truth.
I even heard her talk about a mr.X that had her going on, but didn\'t have the guts to make a move..

Now what do I do? let her be ? Insist ? At least ask for the truth ?
Girl\'s opinion please ?( Yeah right...)

I\'ve been rejected all my freaking life, I could write a book about rejection, wtf is wrong with meeee ???

Sorry bout the rent but I\'m really messed up right now.

 

[krom1415]

Works not a good place to get a girly, for a start.
take it on the chin, and move on to the next one, we all get rejections,
The next time when you ask them to go out and they say just \"yes\" nothing else that when you\'ve got a chance
Hang in there buddy, girls are for dating, not for friends, it never works, as one of them always wants more.

 

[Fizl]

Nothing wrong with you that I know of, its just in the nature of people to not all be attracted to one another!

If she has stopped you twice, then I would guess she isn\'t interested. If she was semi flirting, maybe she just enjoyed it and felt safe after saying no the first time? From a girls point of view, safe flirting is good fun!

My advice would be not to keep trying, just be about, then if she changes her mind you will know. Also, don\'t wait for her in case that does happen, look around at the same time

Shaz

 

[Fizl]

Originally posted by krom1415

Hang in there buddy, girls are for dating, not for friends, it never works, as one of them always wants more.

Sorry for the double post - but that is not true!! I have several male friends who are my friends, nothing more, nothing less. They don\'t fancy me and I don\'t fancy them

Shaz

 

[GreenOne]

@Krom: Sadly work is all I got, and I work at night.. and I don\'t drink, so there ain\'t much going out... And my job is like a date center, there are 36 employees in a small restaurant and 6 couples that met there... so it could have been me.

@Shaz.. herrr that\'s two different girls I was talking about.. And I know about the safe flirt thing, but then again it\'s no reason to \'act all surprised...

We all get rejection? I only get rejections... from high school to now... At 16, at 18 and 19... at 20, 21, 22.. spend all my velentines day alone ( I started painting on velentines day, get the picture?) all my birthdays and christmas... Never came to family dinners accompanied...
I kissed a girl two years ago, had sex more than four years ago, and never had a \'girlfriend\'... Impossible loves, puppy loves, l-o-n-e-l-i-n-e-s-s
and that\'s all I want, love.. not fame and glory, and wealth...

It\'s like the tenth rejection in a row, it\'s exponential, worst everytime...
Up north, I put the beast to sleep, I was a monk, but since I returned to the city...


Edit: I got girl friends... but I do fancy them. I\'m pretty sure they all fancy you Shaz, but that\'s another topic.

 

[Matt Cexwish]

That´s really bad, mate... I have to admit that there have not been much rejects in my life (luckily...), but the ones I had were really tough to accept, because the only thing I did wrong was: I was not an asshole and too nice... Seriously, Girls are so paradox... If they feel too good or are too secure they start to feel uncomfortable and just leave you......

Now, the problem is: If you really, seriously have good intentions on somebody, there is a big chance you will fail... That sucks...

So... I think in your case you hunt in the wrong places... Maybe these girls study, so they really have not much time...?... Or you should try to improve your dating skills, like talk less (Hej, I just pressume, I can´s know anything about you...), talk more...^_^... I don´t know... That´s the difficulty, mate, you have to figure it out by yourfself......

 

[GreenOne]

Yes, Mate, guess you went to the right school... I didn\'t.
It\'s not at 23 that you start learning about girls, It\'s at 12.. Like I missed the train and no one will let me on.

 

[krom1415]

Fizl, ask your male friends next time you see them out straight, that would be interesting lol

green one, there\'s two ways, I took the be yourself, spiritual path, didnt look for a girlfriend just meditated a lot in daily life and I got girls coming out of my ears.
Then there\'s the bullshit path where you make out your something your not and try to impress them, this gets results as well, you seem to be floating about not knowing which way to go.
Go do a Martial arts class or two and get your hormones up, that will get them!!! I talk from experience, and dont go looking just be yourself

 

[Fizl]

Its not like that at all GReen One. I never started dating till I was 16 and have had a grand total of 3 boyfriends in that time.

There are certain things you have to learn by yourself - really no-one can teach you.

1. How to be relaxed with the opposite sex
2. How not to look desperate - we can tell that bit, and its generally not a winner.
3. The most important bit - you will be most likely to succeed here if you seem completely at ease with yourself. If you feel like you need someones love to be complete you won\'t exude this (not sure if that is the right word). By being happy and relaxed with yourself and your own company you will ooze confidence which you probably won\'t even notice!

Hope this helps, and I promise, its not just you

Shaz

 

[GreenOne]

@Shaz: Yeah, all this is what everyone is telling me, so it\'s probably right.

But I\'m emotionally FUBAR, so if that\'s the way, If girls only care about EGO ( Thats what your talking about.) then I\'ll prolly be alone all my life.
But I\'m pretty much complete by myself though, just feel like sharing, I don\'t lack confidence in any other area of my life.

@Krom: I never took the bullshit path in my life, and never will, and the be yourself path don\'t seem to work so much nowadays, not for me anyway.

But thanks for trying to cheer me up, I\'m having a hard time and sympathy always count.

 

[Fizl]

Its ego in the pure sense of the word, not in the sense of a need to be self centred and egotistical. You need to be happy in your own abilities and your sense of self. You can be happy with yourslef without thinking you are gods gift to everything!

You will find someone, and it will probably happen when you least expect it too

Shaz

 

[krom1415]

I think the be yourself, and as fizl says be comfortable in yourself sounds like the way to go, she\'s hit it on the head in her above post.
Try and find your own happiness as knowone else can give you that, but you can share it with others when the time comes

Ego is wanting something to be other than it is, green one,

I never took the bullshit path either lol

 

[DrEvilmonki]

While I am sorry about your distress I have to say bullshit to most of what you say as well.

Flirting is NOT a message to say ask me out. People do it for the most part because it is fun.

Just because you are attracted to someone does NOT make them attracted to you. In fact there are probably women that you wouldn\'t look twice at who want you. They probably think you are a bastard for not noticing.

This women lie bullshit really fucks me off (sorry mods). PEOPLE lie, the idea that women are all out to trick us is such a load of crap.

I have a number of female friends and yes I find some of them attractive. But for gods sake guys do you honestly want to bone every pretty girl who happens to have a personality? Get some self control.

And finally I will offer you some hope. I was single until I was 28. That is not one girlfriend - ever! I have been with my wife for 6 years now.

 

[GreenOne]

You make it sound so very easy...

Thank you both, youre great.

Painting makes me kind of happy, It\'s the only thing I feel llike doing and I really been into lately, won\'t get me to meet anyone, but I guess it\'s the best thing I can do in the meantime.

@DrEvilMonkey: Thanks for the input, very honest. The flirt word was really the best english I could find, It\'s not really that, and I\'m upset so I don\'t balance my language too much. People lie, right, but I don\'t.

And the not-so-pretty girl that wants me only needs to walk up to me, I\'m not that partial to esthetism ( Well, to some extent of course.) In fact, I hope to fall in love with a girl nobody else noticed, just to bring some balance into the story.

 

[No Such Agency]

Originally posted by GreenOne
Yes, Mate, guess you went to the right school... I didn\'t.
It\'s not at 23 that you start learning about girls, It\'s at 12.. Like I missed the train and no one will let me on.

Aww... there is no train. It\'s just people, everyone from the shallow party girl to the drunken chav to the churchgoing virgin are all just trying to make a conenction with someone who works for them and makes them happy. Sometimes they make wise choices, often not. And yeah you frequently have to kiss quite a few frogs to find a prince(ss). Or get rejected a lot.

The \"big secret\" is that (in your case) girls are no different from you in some ways. They are not something to be acheived, they are just people like you and they are looking at the situation from the opposite direction. If they say they don\'t like you... well put yourself in their shoes, imagine if a girl you had no interest in was asking you out and you had to say no. And don\'t feel too bad if a particular girl doesn\'t fancy you, I mean it does suck sometimes but people have a lot of reasons for that, it doesn\'t mean you are some hideous Quasimodo OR that she\'s a picky bint.

 

[freakinacage]

Originally posted by GreenOne
You make it sound so very easy...

it\'s not. even for the \'pros\' it\'s hard work. best thing to do as a bloke is get used to rejection. it\'ll happen a lot (no offence) i have a mate who\'s a male model and even he struggles (he\'s one of the smoothest bastards i know too!) if it does\'t work, it doesn\'t work - shit happens (a lot). i\'ve had nothing but rejection for the last 2 years (apart from the odd one off). it\'s been shit but you just have to power on through. believe in yourself.

 

[Onis Lair]

Dude, i know how you feel and how it goes. I never dated until after high school and guess what, still never really dated. Everytime i tried to ask a girl out i was shot down, hell i even spent 8 years chaseing one girl since 7th grade. I didn\'t break my streak until i discovered the internet chatrooms. It\'s where i meet my fiance. Thing will work out but might take a long long long time and in ways you never expected.

 

[Fizl]

To everyone who says about the male friends -

I do have some male friends who fancy me. I have some female friends who fancy me. I also have male and female friends who don\'t. I set limits to them and they know what they are - doesn\'t stop me being friends with them!

It will work for you, just you wait and see

Shaz

 

[Torn blue sky]

I love you GO

It can really suck at times, I know. Don\'t change yourself, live your life and it\'ll work out
I can empathise with the tortured soul and bleeding heart. It\'s not really worth kicking yourself over, trust me.
Your a good guy! Take pride in that

 

[DrEvilmonki]

Originally posted by GreenOne
You make it sound so very easy...

Look don\'t get me wrong, I had times where I was deeply depressed and feeling lonely (I actually found the movie Saving Private Ryan cheered me up no end - nothing like seeing what other people had to go through to make our problems pale).

The one thing that I heard from your post which I never accepted was blaming someone else for not wanting me. To my mind that is very self absorbed and shows a lack of interest in her individuality. I am not saying that is why she rejected your advance or anything.

By the sound of it you need to get out more and have an actual life. The only way you are going to meet anyone is by interacting with them. It may also sound lame but if you seriously want to get a partner then I would either look to the internet or tell your family and friends to find you some propects.

Society has changed; we ARE a lot more isolated from each other than in the past. We don\'t tend to have the social interaction our parents and grandparents did. That just means you have to make things happen for yourself. Swallow your pride and push aside any embarresment - it\'s your life you need to take control of it.