swordtrainer
New member
Im in love with a girl that goes to my church but we go to rival schools and im afraid that if I ask her on a date i will ruin the long relationship i have built up over the years. any tips?
Relationship tips?
- Thread starter swordtrainer
- Start date
Dragon Forge Design
New member
School only lasts so long.. I say go for it..
My initial thought it \"ask her out this very second or I shall hunt you down and use your bellybutton for my own sexual pleasure\"
The more civilised and thinking part of my brain advises you to go for it. Just dont dash up to her, fall to your knees and let forth a mighty scream of \"I LOVE YOU!!!!!111!!!\". Instead, just suggest, that you go out somewhere together. Cinema, crazy golf, heck, even the park. The worst case scenario is that she\'ll say \"no thanks\". Then whats done is done and you have no lingering issues and spend years constantly thinking of the \"what if\"s and \"if only I\'d\"s.
Yet another part of my brain wants to know what the hell the other part is thinking, in that it sucks at this area of expertise and should be banned from giving advise on anything ever again.
The more civilised and thinking part of my brain advises you to go for it. Just dont dash up to her, fall to your knees and let forth a mighty scream of \"I LOVE YOU!!!!!111!!!\". Instead, just suggest, that you go out somewhere together. Cinema, crazy golf, heck, even the park. The worst case scenario is that she\'ll say \"no thanks\". Then whats done is done and you have no lingering issues and spend years constantly thinking of the \"what if\"s and \"if only I\'d\"s.
Yet another part of my brain wants to know what the hell the other part is thinking, in that it sucks at this area of expertise and should be banned from giving advise on anything ever again.
If being just friends is driving you nuts or you feel like you wanna hold her hand & be in love, then loosing that friendship may happen even if you dont try to take it to an exclusive level & be her boyfriend.
Eventually if you dont do or say something to make your feelings known you will/might put off a vibe like your not happy ( which makes for a crappy friendship / company ), or she will find a boyfriend or another guy friend which will make you change your mood around / about her.
Great relationships require work but, those that are ment to be are just that ment to be.
To loose a friendship for love is a noble sacrifice and one people make all the time.
Have the courage to fail & you may gain what attention from her that you desire.
If a failed courtship ruins all, well you will learn a priceless lesson about women, your perception of them & your place in a friendship with them, realities & Fiction made up in your mind about you & girls.
Also, becoming too over concerned about making her see your inner coolness & making a relationship of a friendship can make everyday interactions irregular and forced / awkward So ..... if you have a strong interest, somewhere mellow cool comfortable invite her there. Put her on your home turf so you are comfortable 7 yourself.
Perhaps a trip to the museum for an exhibition opening, a cafe for a poetry read, a cool mom pop asian food place where your knowledge of Vietnamese soups ( called PHO - said like \" Fa \" Super good, cheap - very worldly ) will make think you are really adventurous & cool.
If you are then flaunt it & take her on a food adventure, if you dont know more than fast food find out where some cool spots are & check em out.
Dont do the movie thing it\'s forgettable
( unless you can find a movie shes been waiting / dying to see that you wanna see too ) besides at the movies she will see a bunch of other guys hanging aroung making you feel less cool.
Going to the Museum is cool cause most people never go, Parents cant say \" No \" to em & you might be in the Top 10% of cool guys there & as a bonus there is plenty to talk about, perhaps you see a painting or sculpture & compare her beauty too or how it does not compare ect. OR even better you find a painting of an allegorical scene maybe Venus & mercury kissing and make a witty comment about never kissing a girl like that ect & seeing if she takes the bait ehhh
Pretty Smooth
Good luck my man & what ever you do dont mention you paint miniatures & if you cannot help yourself at least describe them As \" Imported pewter sculptures/miniatures from France, Britton & Italy \" this sounds much more interesting.
TH
Eventually if you dont do or say something to make your feelings known you will/might put off a vibe like your not happy ( which makes for a crappy friendship / company ), or she will find a boyfriend or another guy friend which will make you change your mood around / about her.
Great relationships require work but, those that are ment to be are just that ment to be.
To loose a friendship for love is a noble sacrifice and one people make all the time.
Have the courage to fail & you may gain what attention from her that you desire.
If a failed courtship ruins all, well you will learn a priceless lesson about women, your perception of them & your place in a friendship with them, realities & Fiction made up in your mind about you & girls.
Also, becoming too over concerned about making her see your inner coolness & making a relationship of a friendship can make everyday interactions irregular and forced / awkward So ..... if you have a strong interest, somewhere mellow cool comfortable invite her there. Put her on your home turf so you are comfortable 7 yourself.
Perhaps a trip to the museum for an exhibition opening, a cafe for a poetry read, a cool mom pop asian food place where your knowledge of Vietnamese soups ( called PHO - said like \" Fa \" Super good, cheap - very worldly ) will make think you are really adventurous & cool.
If you are then flaunt it & take her on a food adventure, if you dont know more than fast food find out where some cool spots are & check em out.
Dont do the movie thing it\'s forgettable
( unless you can find a movie shes been waiting / dying to see that you wanna see too ) besides at the movies she will see a bunch of other guys hanging aroung making you feel less cool.
Going to the Museum is cool cause most people never go, Parents cant say \" No \" to em & you might be in the Top 10% of cool guys there & as a bonus there is plenty to talk about, perhaps you see a painting or sculpture & compare her beauty too or how it does not compare ect. OR even better you find a painting of an allegorical scene maybe Venus & mercury kissing and make a witty comment about never kissing a girl like that ect & seeing if she takes the bait ehhh
Pretty SmoothGood luck my man & what ever you do dont mention you paint miniatures & if you cannot help yourself at least describe them As \" Imported pewter sculptures/miniatures from France, Britton & Italy \" this sounds much more interesting.
TH
farseerlum
New member
wait... there are rival schools? ???
um, i\'m no expert but wouldn\'t coming from a \"rival school\" work to your favour?
um, i\'m no expert but wouldn\'t coming from a \"rival school\" work to your favour?
ipaintminis
Active member
I\'m sure you might not want to here this
but my bestest friend and I went through this about 4 months ago.
I sat him down and told him exactly how I felt about him (that I would enjoy being in a relationship but don\'t want to just ask for fear of loosing my best friend) and we toyed with the idea, but ended up staying friends like we are.
and today, he\'s my closest best friend outside of my family.
so. even if it doesn\'t work approach it with a \"I\'d like to persue this, but worry about our friendship\" and with you all as close as you say, you should be able to be just fine either way
but my bestest friend and I went through this about 4 months ago.
I sat him down and told him exactly how I felt about him (that I would enjoy being in a relationship but don\'t want to just ask for fear of loosing my best friend) and we toyed with the idea, but ended up staying friends like we are.
and today, he\'s my closest best friend outside of my family.
so. even if it doesn\'t work approach it with a \"I\'d like to persue this, but worry about our friendship\" and with you all as close as you say, you should be able to be just fine either way
Roger Bunting
New member
You definately have to go for it, whether it\'s asking her out or sitting her down and telling her how you feel, as Becca said. Not dojng so will only cause the \"what ifs\" and \"if onlys\". That could cause problems.
Sometime in your life you will have to risk the possibility of rejection. If you don\'t try you will never know, besides asking her out isn\'t the same as asking her to marry you.
You have a commonality in belonging to the same church, that\'s a point to start from. The difference in schools might work in your favour. Neither one of you would feel pressured by classmates to \"conform\" to their norms, so you have a better chance of allowing natural development of a relationship.
One thing though, if your schools are \"Rivals\" then be the \'cool\' one in suggesting that as you don\'t know anything about her school you won\'t make any comments about it. Could earn you some regard.
Just play it comfortable and don\'t be a \"geek\" about your hobbies, outsiders, especially girls, don\'t always get the enthusiasm gamers have.
swordtrainer
New member
thanks for all the tips! I think im going to ask her to go to the mohawk bowl(a football game between the mohigans and the hawks, our schools)and ill see where it goes from there.
Just go caveman style and hit her over the head and drag her back to the cave!
JK JK JK JK JK
Get 2 mins with her alone tell her. The longer you drag on without saying anything the more it\'s going to eat you alive. Even if she says something you don\'t like, atleast you\'ll have a clear mind and spend your time getting some other lucky girl to come with you to the Mohawk Bowl.
JK JK JK JK JK
Get 2 mins with her alone tell her. The longer you drag on without saying anything the more it\'s going to eat you alive. Even if she says something you don\'t like, atleast you\'ll have a clear mind and spend your time getting some other lucky girl to come with you to the Mohawk Bowl.
Might be better to ask her to go to something neutral first.
Depends on how \"attatched\" she is to her school\".
Movies are horrible first dates.
So are italian restaurants.
Don\'t geek out.
Most of the advice above is pretty solid.
The ones that are being serious, anyway.
Just say it without expectations of positive
or negative reply from her, and if it\'s a
negative reply, accept it with good grace
and carry on.
Remember... nothing carries more weight
with women that another woman talking you
up....
\"He\'s so mature. So level-headed. You\'d love him.\"
Gold...
So are italian restaurants.
Don\'t geek out.
Most of the advice above is pretty solid.
The ones that are being serious, anyway.
Just say it without expectations of positive
or negative reply from her, and if it\'s a
negative reply, accept it with good grace
and carry on.
Remember... nothing carries more weight
with women that another woman talking you
up....
\"He\'s so mature. So level-headed. You\'d love him.\"
Gold...
swordtrainer
New member
well i asked her to a resturant for lunch and got rejected but oh well ill try again in a year or two
Set aside the fear and doubt---there\'s no place for it here.
Just ask her out to some place where you can talk---for about an hour or so---and then \"play it by ear\".
That is to say, don\'t get trapped into an uncomfortable silence----
Go eat dinner---talk, laugh--and when/if the talking stops, suggest going to a movie, museum, gallery, etc---just cater it to *her* interests as best you can.
Smile a lot--cut up with the people around you. It demonstrates confidence when you can joke around, comfortably, with strangers.
At the end of the night---tell her you had a great time, and if you want to go out again, just ask her if she\'d like to.
If she says \"yes\", great...if she says \"no\", move on to the next prospect.
Just ask her out to some place where you can talk---for about an hour or so---and then \"play it by ear\".
That is to say, don\'t get trapped into an uncomfortable silence----
Go eat dinner---talk, laugh--and when/if the talking stops, suggest going to a movie, museum, gallery, etc---just cater it to *her* interests as best you can.
Smile a lot--cut up with the people around you. It demonstrates confidence when you can joke around, comfortably, with strangers.
At the end of the night---tell her you had a great time, and if you want to go out again, just ask her if she\'d like to.
If she says \"yes\", great...if she says \"no\", move on to the next prospect.
