philologus
Subgenius
In a trial, a southern small-town
prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to
the stand.
He approached her and asked, \"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?\"
She responded, \"Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I\'ve
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you\'ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you\'re a big shot when
you haven\'t
the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.\"
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, \"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?\"
She again replied, \"Why, yes, I do. I\'ve known Mr. Bradley since
he was youngster, too. He\'s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can\'t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on
his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him.\"
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a
very quiet voice, said, \"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I\'ll
send you to the electric chair.\"
prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
woman to
the stand.
He approached her and asked, \"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?\"
She responded, \"Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I\'ve
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you\'ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you\'re a big shot when
you haven\'t
the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.\"
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
across the room and asked, \"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?\"
She again replied, \"Why, yes, I do. I\'ve known Mr. Bradley since
he was youngster, too. He\'s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can\'t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
cheated on
his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
him.\"
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a
very quiet voice, said, \"If either of you idiots asks her if she knows
me, I\'ll
send you to the electric chair.\"
