Amazon warrior
New member
...\"Why certainly, madam! I\'ll just download it onto this floppy disc for you, shall I?\"
:twisted:
Stuff People Will Complain About
- Thread starter evil tendencies
- Start date
:twisted:
alextheartist
New member
My gw have the local Game, hmv and othersuch stores on speed dial and often ring ahead saying that people are coming and would like them to reserve something (which i think is good service)
Alex
Alex
work experience at a rstaraunt(specialising in fish and chips)
3 bus drivers order a meal, 2 small, one medium.
the first part, the 2 smalls are ready, i take them to the table. The plates are the length of my forearms, and the fish is slightly larger than them.
the 2 bus drivers say thanks, the last one says: \"wait... Are they smalls...\" I nod, and say, in my best happy to help you voice \"yes sir\" he looks worried... \"how big are mediums then?\"
I pick up his meal, with some difficulty (the plates are roughly the size of chopping boards, and made of solid porcelaine.) and take it over. Here is your meal sir. Enjoy your day. He just stares at the meal for a good 2 minutes, dumbstruck.
point 1: you can ask to see the size of a meal(well, the plate at least)
point 2: look at the price, it is proportional.
in his defence, he did give me a fiver for a tip.
rosac
p.s ive got some more, involving mental hospital visits, nurse house visits and the coach parties of OMFG how many people just came in here?
3 bus drivers order a meal, 2 small, one medium.
the first part, the 2 smalls are ready, i take them to the table. The plates are the length of my forearms, and the fish is slightly larger than them.
the 2 bus drivers say thanks, the last one says: \"wait... Are they smalls...\" I nod, and say, in my best happy to help you voice \"yes sir\" he looks worried... \"how big are mediums then?\"
I pick up his meal, with some difficulty (the plates are roughly the size of chopping boards, and made of solid porcelaine.) and take it over. Here is your meal sir. Enjoy your day. He just stares at the meal for a good 2 minutes, dumbstruck.
point 1: you can ask to see the size of a meal(well, the plate at least)
point 2: look at the price, it is proportional.
in his defence, he did give me a fiver for a tip.
rosac
p.s ive got some more, involving mental hospital visits, nurse house visits and the coach parties of OMFG how many people just came in here?
Farin
New member
@Uber and the other teachers - don´t worry ...we have this kind of stupidity here too. once in 10th grade chemistry lesson the following conservation took place
teacher \" does anyone of you know what salt acid is used for ?\"
stupidest girl in class : \" My mom is a nurse. She told me they use salt acid infusions when people have lost a lot of blood \"
Me ( trying to keep a straight face ) \" Don´t you mean saline solution ?? \"
She \" that´s the same stuff!....isn´t it ? \"
No it´s NOT you dumb blond, you who´s head contain less brain than a banger :cussing:. And i tell you if she ever trains to become a nurse, her patients are screwed !
teacher \" does anyone of you know what salt acid is used for ?\"
stupidest girl in class : \" My mom is a nurse. She told me they use salt acid infusions when people have lost a lot of blood \"
Me ( trying to keep a straight face ) \" Don´t you mean saline solution ?? \"
She \" that´s the same stuff!....isn´t it ? \"
No it´s NOT you dumb blond, you who´s head contain less brain than a banger :cussing:. And i tell you if she ever trains to become a nurse, her patients are screwed !
squig hunter
New member
Originally posted by cybersquig
isn\'t it amazing how many of these you get?
\"can we finish now?\" (2 mins into lesson)
\"can we have a break?\" (see above)
\"but I came, isn\'t that good enough?\" (not when you haven\'t brought a pen, paper, textbooks, materials or even an ounce of intellect to the lesson, no!)
\"are you gay?\" (piss off)
\"will this be in our assignment?\" (no, but it\'ll be in your life you inbread twit, so shut up and listen as I explain that america adjoins canada by means of a border!)
\"the other class didn\'t do this\" (yes they did, it just took 5 mins rather than a full hour because I didn\'t have to start by explaining the meaning of the word \'psychology\' in the middle of the 8th lesson in the subject to them)
\"but I don\'t want to\" (not caring)
\"but I don\'t want to so I won\'t\" (you can always leave)
\"we don\'t get this much work from the other teachers\" (you don\'t get learning like this from the other teachers, so shut up, sit down and learn you little slimy toerag, I\'m trying to culture you...refer to inbred comment above for further commentry on this one)
aah. That\'s better
Gah, hate people like that. I do have some nice ones from some airheads (no offence airead lol) in my old class
Teacher: explains some algebra, notices a large group of girls at the back aren\'t paying any attention, asks them why not
Girl: Well, we don\'t understand it, so we\'re not going to waste our time listening you you explain something we don\'t understand are we? /snotty tone
lolwhut?
Teacher: *explaining about percentages* So if the number is 800, one percent of that is 8, so 20% of 800 is 160.
Same girl as before: But.. like, I like thought you couldn\'t have more then a hundred percent
Human stupidity continues to astound me..
Squig
evil tendencies
Cake or Death?
Ok, some funny complaints I got in law enforcement:
- A man calls in one day, and asks me if I can kindly move the helicopter above his house. He was trying to read, and it was disturbing him. I informed him that our department didn\'t have helicopters, and that there was nothing we could do even if we did. He replied that he knew damn well that it was us, and that he \"didn\'t live in the \'hood, and deserved to live in peace because of it.\"
The kicker? I asked him where he did live, and he told me that he lived on county land next to our jurisdiction. When I suggested calling the Sherrif\'s department (who, it turned out, WAS running a chopper in that neighborhood), he called me a cracker and hung up.
- A young man came in one day and wanted to register a complaint against one of our officers, who he said had shot at him getting off a freeway. I asked him who the officer was, and he said he didn\'t know. He didn\'t know for sure that the man was a cop, or even from our department. Minutes later one of our cops came in to begin his shift, saw the complaintant in the lobby and immediately put him under arrest for attempted murder of a police officer.
It turns out that our officer HAD shot at this young man - returning fire during a drive-by shooting perpetrated on the freeway by this young man. Minutes after he was taken to the jail, this guy\'s mother comes in, and tries to make a complaint of harassment for arresting her son for making a complaint. ???
- A man calls in one day, and asks me if I can kindly move the helicopter above his house. He was trying to read, and it was disturbing him. I informed him that our department didn\'t have helicopters, and that there was nothing we could do even if we did. He replied that he knew damn well that it was us, and that he \"didn\'t live in the \'hood, and deserved to live in peace because of it.\"
The kicker? I asked him where he did live, and he told me that he lived on county land next to our jurisdiction. When I suggested calling the Sherrif\'s department (who, it turned out, WAS running a chopper in that neighborhood), he called me a cracker and hung up.
- A young man came in one day and wanted to register a complaint against one of our officers, who he said had shot at him getting off a freeway. I asked him who the officer was, and he said he didn\'t know. He didn\'t know for sure that the man was a cop, or even from our department. Minutes later one of our cops came in to begin his shift, saw the complaintant in the lobby and immediately put him under arrest for attempted murder of a police officer.
It turns out that our officer HAD shot at this young man - returning fire during a drive-by shooting perpetrated on the freeway by this young man. Minutes after he was taken to the jail, this guy\'s mother comes in, and tries to make a complaint of harassment for arresting her son for making a complaint. ???
Reading all of this I don`t know if I should laugh or cry
This is what happened to my girlfriend who is becoming a health insurance lawyer:
They discussed politics at school and a film was shown about the the American Presidental elections. When Bush appeared on screen the girl next to her (21 years of age and in the same buisness!) asked her in a low wisper \"Isn`t that the pope?\"
My GF offered her 20 bucks for asking the question aloud....
Stupidest thing that happened at uni: A girl was to hold a presentation on \"Les Chants de Maldoror\" by Lautréamont (I study comparative literature). She stood up, got to the front table and all she said was: \"Well, I found it too horrible to read and stopped doing so after 10 pages. That guy was a real sicko\" The teacher stayed polite and didn`t comment this. I would have ripped her apart in front of the class :cussing:
This is what happened to my girlfriend who is becoming a health insurance lawyer:
They discussed politics at school and a film was shown about the the American Presidental elections. When Bush appeared on screen the girl next to her (21 years of age and in the same buisness!) asked her in a low wisper \"Isn`t that the pope?\"
My GF offered her 20 bucks for asking the question aloud....
Stupidest thing that happened at uni: A girl was to hold a presentation on \"Les Chants de Maldoror\" by Lautréamont (I study comparative literature). She stood up, got to the front table and all she said was: \"Well, I found it too horrible to read and stopped doing so after 10 pages. That guy was a real sicko\" The teacher stayed polite and didn`t comment this. I would have ripped her apart in front of the class :cussing:
BarstoolProphet
New member
My first full-time job (short-lived though it was) was stocking shelves in a grocery store. There are some really amusing tales that can come out of such places.
\"Excuse me? Does this soup have MSG?\"
\"I don\'t know, ma\'am. Does it say anything on the label?\"
\"You mean you don\'t know? You call that product knowledge?\"
\"Most people just read the label, ma\'am. I just put the products on the shelves.\"
\"Are you being smart with me?\"
At this point, my pleasant smile was getting to be quite a struggle, as throughout the conversation, I\'m holding four cases of kidney beans in my arms. 96 cans. Not light. \"Ma\'am, I stock shelves in a grocery store. I don\'t have to be smart to do this.\"
\"That\'s it. What\'s your name?\"
\"Wil. Why?\" I finally get the cans onto the shelves.
\"I\'m going to complain to the manager. And you\'ve just lost a sale!\"
At this point, I burst out laughing. As if grocery store sales are on commission, and beyond that, I\'m going to sweat the loss of the commission on a 50 cent can of soup. I don\'t mean a short laugh, either. I mean loud, braying, drawing attention to myself, almost falling over from the sudden pain in my belly laughing.
She actually grabbed me by the ear and dragged me to the front (still laughing my butt off) and starts yelling for the manager.
He comes over, and asks what the problem is. The woman demands that I explain to him, but I can\'t - can\'t stop laughing. So he throws a glass of water in my face to help.
Then, still chortling, I explain to him, pretty much verbatim, what was said to set the lady off, at which point I start laughing again (now so hard that tears are literally rolling down my face).
The manager looks from me to the lady, and asks \"Is this true? You didn\'t look at the label before giving my staff a hard time? What kind of idiot are you? The man\'s carrying eighty pounds of cans and you\'re making him stand there to answer a question you could have figured out for yourself from five seconds of reading? If that? Get the **** out of my store, lady, and don\'t come back!\"
\"Excuse me? Does this soup have MSG?\"
\"I don\'t know, ma\'am. Does it say anything on the label?\"
\"You mean you don\'t know? You call that product knowledge?\"
\"Most people just read the label, ma\'am. I just put the products on the shelves.\"
\"Are you being smart with me?\"
At this point, my pleasant smile was getting to be quite a struggle, as throughout the conversation, I\'m holding four cases of kidney beans in my arms. 96 cans. Not light. \"Ma\'am, I stock shelves in a grocery store. I don\'t have to be smart to do this.\"
\"That\'s it. What\'s your name?\"
\"Wil. Why?\" I finally get the cans onto the shelves.
\"I\'m going to complain to the manager. And you\'ve just lost a sale!\"
At this point, I burst out laughing. As if grocery store sales are on commission, and beyond that, I\'m going to sweat the loss of the commission on a 50 cent can of soup. I don\'t mean a short laugh, either. I mean loud, braying, drawing attention to myself, almost falling over from the sudden pain in my belly laughing.
She actually grabbed me by the ear and dragged me to the front (still laughing my butt off) and starts yelling for the manager.
He comes over, and asks what the problem is. The woman demands that I explain to him, but I can\'t - can\'t stop laughing. So he throws a glass of water in my face to help.
Then, still chortling, I explain to him, pretty much verbatim, what was said to set the lady off, at which point I start laughing again (now so hard that tears are literally rolling down my face).
The manager looks from me to the lady, and asks \"Is this true? You didn\'t look at the label before giving my staff a hard time? What kind of idiot are you? The man\'s carrying eighty pounds of cans and you\'re making him stand there to answer a question you could have figured out for yourself from five seconds of reading? If that? Get the **** out of my store, lady, and don\'t come back!\"
Amazon warrior
New member
lollol Bet you were really nice to your boss after that if you weren\'t before.
Shawn R. L.
New member
That....my man is what you call a good manager. NO, the customer is not always right.
I worked fast food long time ago. My boss was of the \'the customer\'s always right\' camp......I\'m NOT. One fellow was being particularly nasty and I threw his change out the window to him.......MAN THAT FELT GOOD!!!:twisted:
Mr.S.Marbo
New member
These are all true and from my personal experience fairly common. This is not word for word but the gist of it is there.
****
Customer calls and says \"You sent me a bill for £0.02 and I am worried sick, it\'s shocking that you keep sending me things like this as I am worried half to death and wish to complain.\"
Employee \"Don\'t worry, it\'s not a demand for payment, it\'s just a statement to show the latest position. It should say underneath that as the amount to pay is small you do not need to make a payment, but that it will just be added onto your next bill. There is no need to pay it.\"
Customer \"It says that but it also says that interest is accruing on this amount! This is going to get out of hand if you charge me interest!\"
Employee \"That is just a standard message that is put on all the statements. We will not charge interest on an amount of 2 pence, it is just too small.\"
Customer \"You say that but what happens when you charge me interest? How can you expect me to pay it you haven\'t even told me how I can pay, I am worried to death.\"
Employee \"We will not charge interest and there is no need to make an effort to pay it now, it is a very small amount so don\'t worry it will just go on your next bill.\"
Customer \"You are not going to help me are you, you\'re just hounding me, you\'ll only be happy once I can no longer afford to live in a house....\" line goes dead.
****
Employee on the phone to a customer \"Where do you work please?\"
Customer \"In a large building.\"
Employee \"Can you tell me the name and address of your employer please?\"
Customer \"I don\'t know who I work for, Don\'t you know? This is getting silly, I have told you all I can.\"
Employee \"Have you just started working there? What is the name of the company?\"
Customer \"No I have been working here for years. I don\'t know the name. I go into work through the back door and the company name is only above the front door.\"
****
Customer \"You keep sending me letters saying I owe you money and I don\'t!\"
Employee \"Have you got the letter with you?\"
Customer \"Yes it says I have to pay you £100. To make matters worse you sent me a cheque for £100 when I already owe you money. I am not happy about this at all.\"
Employee \"I can\'t see anything that suggests you owe anything, can you read out what the letter says please?\"
Customer \"Don\'t you have the letter? This is stupid I am really fed up with all this now.\"
Employee \"I don\'t have a record of you owing anything, but I can see that we sent you £100 because you paid £100 too much. What does the letter say please?\"
Customer \"It says...... Dear X, You have OVERPAID... by £100.... attached is a copy of my calculation...... I am pleased to say a repayment is due to you... you will shortly receive a cheque for £100 under separate cover.\"
****
Customer calls and says \"You sent me a bill for £0.02 and I am worried sick, it\'s shocking that you keep sending me things like this as I am worried half to death and wish to complain.\"
Employee \"Don\'t worry, it\'s not a demand for payment, it\'s just a statement to show the latest position. It should say underneath that as the amount to pay is small you do not need to make a payment, but that it will just be added onto your next bill. There is no need to pay it.\"
Customer \"It says that but it also says that interest is accruing on this amount! This is going to get out of hand if you charge me interest!\"
Employee \"That is just a standard message that is put on all the statements. We will not charge interest on an amount of 2 pence, it is just too small.\"
Customer \"You say that but what happens when you charge me interest? How can you expect me to pay it you haven\'t even told me how I can pay, I am worried to death.\"
Employee \"We will not charge interest and there is no need to make an effort to pay it now, it is a very small amount so don\'t worry it will just go on your next bill.\"
Customer \"You are not going to help me are you, you\'re just hounding me, you\'ll only be happy once I can no longer afford to live in a house....\" line goes dead.
****
Employee on the phone to a customer \"Where do you work please?\"
Customer \"In a large building.\"
Employee \"Can you tell me the name and address of your employer please?\"
Customer \"I don\'t know who I work for, Don\'t you know? This is getting silly, I have told you all I can.\"
Employee \"Have you just started working there? What is the name of the company?\"
Customer \"No I have been working here for years. I don\'t know the name. I go into work through the back door and the company name is only above the front door.\"
****
Customer \"You keep sending me letters saying I owe you money and I don\'t!\"
Employee \"Have you got the letter with you?\"
Customer \"Yes it says I have to pay you £100. To make matters worse you sent me a cheque for £100 when I already owe you money. I am not happy about this at all.\"
Employee \"I can\'t see anything that suggests you owe anything, can you read out what the letter says please?\"
Customer \"Don\'t you have the letter? This is stupid I am really fed up with all this now.\"
Employee \"I don\'t have a record of you owing anything, but I can see that we sent you £100 because you paid £100 too much. What does the letter say please?\"
Customer \"It says...... Dear X, You have OVERPAID... by £100.... attached is a copy of my calculation...... I am pleased to say a repayment is due to you... you will shortly receive a cheque for £100 under separate cover.\"
Necroghast
New member
How about this one from my Biology class
Teacher: So if corks come from trees what are they made of?
Student: (immediatly and very enthusiastically) Tree!
As a postman I often came across stupid comments but the most common was when it was pissing down with rain and I was stood in someones doorway dripping wet and would get \"Hey, all the mail is wet!\" NO SHIT SHERLOCK !!
Oh and the other one was \"Why do I keep getting mail with other peoples names on there?\" Cause your address is on there to stupid, I deliver to the address not the name.
Oh and the other one was \"Why do I keep getting mail with other peoples names on there?\" Cause your address is on there to stupid, I deliver to the address not the name.
nightsword
New member
I used to work for woolworths in a small town in a rural area, and what really irritated me was when customers brought up a game or CD case.
Staff (looks for disc for CD): Sorry sir, we don\'t have this in stock, would you like to order it?
Customer: Why is the *******case on the stand when you don\'t have it in stock?
Staff: Company policy sir, you can still order it?
Customer: Yeah, but why is it on the stand?
Staff: We have to leave the cases out there, it\'s company policy
Customer: Yeah, but why?
Staff: Sir, because we are told to by our bosses. It\'s company policy to leave the case out there, but you can still order it.
Customer: this isn\'t helping! Why?!
Staff: Company policy sir
Customer:... Change It!
As if that would suddenly make the product appear.
Another time, a women brought some kid\'s underwear back. My manager wouldn\'t give her a refund because they\'d been open and *clearly worn*. She threw them at him and left...
Also, my mate had a women come into complain and return a plant pot, so he happily abiliged. He pulled the plant pot out of the plastic bag, tilting it as he did.
The plant pot still had water in, he got drenched.
Classroom blunders are \'mazing, some people can be really stupid.
Staff (looks for disc for CD): Sorry sir, we don\'t have this in stock, would you like to order it?
Customer: Why is the *******case on the stand when you don\'t have it in stock?
Staff: Company policy sir, you can still order it?
Customer: Yeah, but why is it on the stand?
Staff: We have to leave the cases out there, it\'s company policy
Customer: Yeah, but why?
Staff: Sir, because we are told to by our bosses. It\'s company policy to leave the case out there, but you can still order it.
Customer: this isn\'t helping! Why?!
Staff: Company policy sir
Customer:... Change It!
As if that would suddenly make the product appear.
Another time, a women brought some kid\'s underwear back. My manager wouldn\'t give her a refund because they\'d been open and *clearly worn*. She threw them at him and left...
Also, my mate had a women come into complain and return a plant pot, so he happily abiliged. He pulled the plant pot out of the plastic bag, tilting it as he did.
The plant pot still had water in, he got drenched.
Classroom blunders are \'mazing, some people can be really stupid.
I used to work for my local Police Department as a dispatcher. A few of the dumber things I ever dealt with:
Christmas day, the 9-1-1 Emergency line rings
Me - \"9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?\"
Caller - \"My tooth really hurts! I need an ambulance\"
Me - \"So, you\'re calling 9-1-1, reserved for life & death emergencies, because you have a toothache?!\"
Caller - \"Uh... yeah. I need an ambulance!\"
Sad thing is, I HAD to send him one. The crew was NOT pleased.
One of my officers pulls over a car with two girls in it
Officer - \"Do you have any I.D.?\"
Driver - \"No\"
Officer - \"Do you know your drivers license number?\"
Driver turns to her passenger and asks \"What\'s my driver license #?\" in a really smart ass tone. Passenger rattles of a string of digits.
Officer - \"So you\'re saying that\'s YOUR drivers license number?\"
Driver - \"Yeah\" with a smirk
Officer runs the DL#, it comes back to a 64 yo male, and promptly arrests the driver for Failure to ID.
NEVER assume a cop has a sense of humor!
Officer responds to a call and asks everyone for ID\'s. One girls doesn\'t have any on her, BUT rattles off her Drivers License #. Officer runs the DL and it comes back that she has warrants from another department. Officer arrests the girl for the warrants and on the way back she confesses that it really WASN\'T her ID that she gave him, but a friends. Still gets to go to jail for failure to ID (among other things)
LESSON: Never give a friends ID unless you\'re SURE they\'re clear! lol
Final one:
Officers get sent to a disturbance, pick up three guys and bring \'em back to the PD. The jailer is processing them and one of them starts getting squirelly, with his hand behind his back. The jailer calls for back-up and most of the shift heads into the jail, including the Sgt. A minute later I hear the Sgt\'s very loud voice saying \"Get your fingers out of your @ss!\"
This comment is repeated a few seconds later, even louder. Shortly I have to call an ambulance. Turns out the brain trust had a GLASS crack pipe on him that he wanted to hide so he\'d shoved it up his... crack.
:moon:
I could go on for days...
Christmas day, the 9-1-1 Emergency line rings
Me - \"9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?\"
Caller - \"My tooth really hurts! I need an ambulance\"
Me - \"So, you\'re calling 9-1-1, reserved for life & death emergencies, because you have a toothache?!\"
Caller - \"Uh... yeah. I need an ambulance!\"
Sad thing is, I HAD to send him one. The crew was NOT pleased.
One of my officers pulls over a car with two girls in it
Officer - \"Do you have any I.D.?\"
Driver - \"No\"
Officer - \"Do you know your drivers license number?\"
Driver turns to her passenger and asks \"What\'s my driver license #?\" in a really smart ass tone. Passenger rattles of a string of digits.
Officer - \"So you\'re saying that\'s YOUR drivers license number?\"
Driver - \"Yeah\" with a smirk
Officer runs the DL#, it comes back to a 64 yo male, and promptly arrests the driver for Failure to ID.
NEVER assume a cop has a sense of humor!
Officer responds to a call and asks everyone for ID\'s. One girls doesn\'t have any on her, BUT rattles off her Drivers License #. Officer runs the DL and it comes back that she has warrants from another department. Officer arrests the girl for the warrants and on the way back she confesses that it really WASN\'T her ID that she gave him, but a friends. Still gets to go to jail for failure to ID (among other things)
LESSON: Never give a friends ID unless you\'re SURE they\'re clear! lol
Final one:
Officers get sent to a disturbance, pick up three guys and bring \'em back to the PD. The jailer is processing them and one of them starts getting squirelly, with his hand behind his back. The jailer calls for back-up and most of the shift heads into the jail, including the Sgt. A minute later I hear the Sgt\'s very loud voice saying \"Get your fingers out of your @ss!\"
This comment is repeated a few seconds later, even louder. Shortly I have to call an ambulance. Turns out the brain trust had a GLASS crack pipe on him that he wanted to hide so he\'d shoved it up his... crack.
:moon:
I could go on for days...
