Stupid things, Chapter 2
- Thread starter Ovus The Peon
- Start date
Earlier this year, in what brief spell of sunshire proported to be an English summer, after painting a figure to completion one sunday, the ice cream van came round our street. Being a person with a sweet tooth I offered to get one for my wife and myself.
Goes out gets same icecreams for both of us and proceeds back upstairs where my wife is sitting at the PC. Decides to head back down stairs with my own ice cream.
However, I omitted to take notice of the fact that my dog, who loves to crunch on carrots, had taken a half chewed one upstairs, and proceeded to leave same carrot on second step from top.
Michael applies 14 stones direct pressure on right foot to said carrot and bypasses laws of aerodynamics and eight steps, before landing half way down stairs and sliding. Attempts to stop self from travelling any further, put same foot on same bl***y carrot and repeats procedure to bottom of stairs.
Icecream went sub-orbital and landed on carpet in the middle of the hallway. I issue painfull AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH on both impacts, dog legs it out of road and wife p****s herself laughing. She then cries \"Where\'s your icecream\", as I crawl into recovery position to recover breath and sob over loss of dignity (not to mention Icecream which by now is well embedded in carpet!)
Haven\'t had an icecream since and I double check the stairs for carrots!
lol
Goes out gets same icecreams for both of us and proceeds back upstairs where my wife is sitting at the PC. Decides to head back down stairs with my own ice cream.
However, I omitted to take notice of the fact that my dog, who loves to crunch on carrots, had taken a half chewed one upstairs, and proceeded to leave same carrot on second step from top.
Michael applies 14 stones direct pressure on right foot to said carrot and bypasses laws of aerodynamics and eight steps, before landing half way down stairs and sliding. Attempts to stop self from travelling any further, put same foot on same bl***y carrot and repeats procedure to bottom of stairs.
Icecream went sub-orbital and landed on carpet in the middle of the hallway. I issue painfull AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH on both impacts, dog legs it out of road and wife p****s herself laughing. She then cries \"Where\'s your icecream\", as I crawl into recovery position to recover breath and sob over loss of dignity (not to mention Icecream which by now is well embedded in carpet!)
Haven\'t had an icecream since and I double check the stairs for carrots!
lol
She (Chukki) is a cross breed labrador, who is on steroids for periosteal condition. (boney growths on the side of the bones in her toes, very painful.) And as she loves to eat, due to the steroids, the carrots are a healthy way of satisfiying her craving for food.
D
Demigod
Guest
HA HA HA
lol Wow, that\'s really made my day, the worst thing thats happened to me was...
I had this board that I was doing all my painting on, and I was painting this eldar warlock. All of a sudden the phone rang so I got up off my chair and just as I started running to the phone (it\'d been ringing for a while). I tripped on the leg of the chair and fell, clipping the board as I went. So I ended up on the floor groaning in pain with about three bottles of paint emptied on me!
And my friend...
Was trying to open a stuck bottle of scorpion green and had his mouth open, grunting from the exertion when all of a sudden it burst open, lobbing a glob of green into his mouth
|~ <-- that\'s him!) In the end he had to go to hospital to get it removed from his mouth and throat!
lol Wow, that\'s really made my day, the worst thing thats happened to me was...
I had this board that I was doing all my painting on, and I was painting this eldar warlock. All of a sudden the phone rang so I got up off my chair and just as I started running to the phone (it\'d been ringing for a while). I tripped on the leg of the chair and fell, clipping the board as I went. So I ended up on the floor groaning in pain with about three bottles of paint emptied on me!
And my friend...
Was trying to open a stuck bottle of scorpion green and had his mouth open, grunting from the exertion when all of a sudden it burst open, lobbing a glob of green into his mouth
|~ <-- that\'s him!) In the end he had to go to hospital to get it removed from his mouth and throat!