sweet sixteen daughter

[desertdragon1964]

Does anyone out there have a teenage girl? I do and the boyfriend issues aer unreal this is another good reason why I dwell in my fantasy world of minis.But still I must come up for air and deal with fatherly issues such as this. Any constuctive comments or comments from like minded folks welcome. Sorry for unloading on all of you just typing my mind.DD???

 

[mud duck]

what type of issues? That really is a loaded question. Although I\'d think that answering the door with a very pointie, hooked knife, and asking the simple question to the young lad if he\'s ever see a human lower instened, should keep him cowed nice and proper.

The real question should be (and not to sound rude) is do you trust your daughter? Goes she relize the conquese to her and her BFs actions?

 

[desertdragon1964]

ss

Thanks MD just general questions,daughter is not sure of BF\'sloyalty and she worries way too much about the small stuff .And I didn\'t do the pointy knife thing though I own several collectable ones I opted for the old standby cleaning the shotgun thing seemed to work at the time however this wasthree months ago.Aside from the most important passion in my life being my family my others would be painting my minis and collecting swords and knives.DD

 

[No Such Agency]

Now THERE was a guy who knew how to guard a girl\'s heart lollollol

I\'d say trust your kid enough not to be an ass to her, but don\'t \"trust\" her so much that you don\'t keep an eye on her or set limits for her. My only expertise here is that I was a teenager only 12 years ago and I remember it ALL. Kids don\'t need their parents telling them \"suck it up, princess\", but they can always use a little perspective - \"this too shall pass\".

The most important thing is that she trusts YOU enough to talk to you if she is feeling freaked out or has problems. That can be hard for a young person.

 

[Duende]

I\'ll have to keep checking back on this thread myself since I\'ll need all this advice in about 13 years! (Why can\'t she stay a little girl forever!?)

:innocent:

 

[Ogrebane]

Just remember they are teenagers. They are another species entirely.

If you havent instilled all the right moral values by now its too late. They will test your limits and get emotional etc but just stand your ground and wait it out and be there just in case.

Good luck my daughter will be a teenager in 2 years my son just yurned 21 (although he still act like a 12 yo)

 

[ipaintminis]

i\'ve sat here and thought about how to answer this for at least 10 minutes.

its hard for me to answer though, because my family and i are really close and i\'ve only had 1 boyfriend (which lasted 2 months)

but! i can say that pushing your daughter into believeing something she doesnt want to isnt going to make her do it, it will probably do just the opposite

let her know your there for her, when ever she needs it, and tell her you love her


and trust is one of the most important things in the world, if she dosent trust her boyfriend, why is she still dating him?

 

[Ebonbuddha]

What is an \"instened\"?

Originally posted by mud duck
what type of issues? That really is a loaded question. Although I\'d think that answering the door with a very pointie, hooked knife, and asking the simple question to the young lad if he\'s ever see a human lower instened, should keep him cowed nice and proper.

The real question should be (and not to sound rude) is do you trust your daughter? Goes she relize the conquese to her and her BFs actions?

 

[No Such Agency]

Originally posted by mud duck
what type of issues? That really is a loaded question. Although I\'d think that answering the door with a very pointie, hooked knife, and asking the simple question to the young lad if he\'s ever see a human lower instened, should keep him cowed nice and proper.

The real question should be (and not to sound rude) is do you trust your daughter? Goes she relize the conquese to her and her BFs actions?

Translation:
\"What type of issues? That really is a loaded question. Although I\'d think that answering the door with a very pointy, hooked knife, and asking a simple question to the young lad - if he\'s ever see a human lower intestine - should keep him cowed nice and proper.

The real question should be (and not to sound rude) is do you trust your daughter? Does she realize the consequences of her and her BFs actions?\"

 

[Ebonbuddha]

I think everyone has given you some good advice. You should be happy about one thing. You have something that I never had with my parents. She can talk to you. Go with that. If he does hurt her, you have to be there tot make her feel better. Which I know you will do.

 

[marineboy]

Listen to her if she talks. If she talks at all, you\'re way ahead of the game. Giving good advice may seem like the natural thing to do as a parent, but kids quickly gag on advice, even advice given with the best of intentions.

Listen to her. Ask questions about what she\'s feeling. I learn alot more about my boys in that fashion than when I do the talking.

 

[Dragonsreach]

Do one thing:

Tell her that you are worried for her.

But no matter what, let her know that you love her unreservedly.
I have no kids of my own but it\'s what my parents did for me.

 

[TAB Studio]

Here is my true hearted effort

Try to be more politely perverted than your kids are....you make the butt of your self first...they do not feel as uncomfortable opening up about there wonders and or situations

Have a baby when your daughter is oh say seven and because your open your daughter knows the Gma and others play poker and eat pizza as they all bet on your natural delivery time .... The reality of all that will make sure she does not want for children till she has maturity and a responsible mate.

I really feel the posts above are right being honest with your kids can bring honesty back to you ...
Do tell how you feel but not what you think she should feel.
Like Becca says it will not help express to much...she has to push and piss me off for me to tell her my direct take on the situation in blunt bold letters. Thus I feel she only does that when she really wants to know.

Unconditional love... My favorite line for both kids is \"I love you because the sky is blue\" It takes them some time to figure I really do not need a reason ...I just do ..no matter.

Hand your daughter a paint brush and the boyfriend as well if they will take one. We all spend hours painting and gaming...I feel sure it is why we are so close.
Its worth a try

Where is Finn when you need him ?
I miss Finns input...

 

[airhead]

I\'m no Finn, but I\'ve got a 15 & a 17 year old daughter. Jen is a senior this year and has seriously dated 3 guys. Only one of which raised the hackles on my neck. If I had bitched about him, she would have only wanted him more - stuborn girl that she is. So I tried hard to be nice to him as much as I could until Jen could see herself what an ass this guy is. Only took a couple of weeks, but seemed forever to me.

Katy is a sophmore, dating a senior that is off to the marine corps in June. He has spent a lot of time over at our house as one of Jen\'s friends and part of our regular D&D night for the last 5 years.

All joking aside, raise them up and by the time they get to this stage, mostly all you can do is trust and keep the lines of communications open. Spend as much time with them as they will allow and stay interested in what they are doing. Be there for them when they need support. Ask lots of questions: \"Where are you going?\" \"When are you going to be back?\" \"Who are you going with?\" \"Who\'s going to be there?\"

If your girl is not sure of his loyalty, there is probably a reason. From middle school on, the guys seem to all want to be \'players\'.

Are they going to do stupid things? Yes, they are teenagers and it is in their nature. Love them and be the safety net. By this time, they should understand your moral values - \"I\'d like to go to your wedding before I am a grandparent.\" \"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.\"

Now is the time for you to let them stand on the edge of the nest and flap their wings. If they fly, keep the nest a warm and safe place for them to come back to.

 

[supervike]

I have two girls...One is on the virge of turning 13.

I am scared to death to have to deal with boyfriends. Both my daughters are \'daddy\'s girls\' and it is going to be hard seeing them deal with them little bastards. I hope that have had instilled them both with enough self respect and morals that they make the right judgements...but its not going to be easy.

Everyone seems to have really good advice. I\'ll have to remember this all when I am loading the shotgun...

 

[desertdragon1964]

SS

Thanks to all for the advice on my 16 year old daughter! We have always been \"VERY\" open with her, sometimes too open!!! She is struggling with this, as it is her first real boyfriend. They have been together for three months or so, and in that time he has had three other girls hitting on him, and causing major problems for her. He doesn\'t seem to understand that he is \"LEADING\" them on. He does really stupid things like take notes from them, give them rides home, and so on. When we confront him, he seems genuinely confused, that we are bringing it up, like we are the ones with the problem. He comes from an environment that leaves a lot to the imagination, to say the least. We have talked to our daughter, and she is finally going to confront him and stand up for herself. I think an ultimatum is hence forth coming, if you know what I mean. Will post later, as to the boys \"condition!\" HA! HA! DD :flame:

 

[desertdragon1964]

SS

Hey Supervike; Hang in there dude, my advice is to study yoga or mediatation, as you\'re gonna need all the help you can get. If you think boys are bad, try thinking about PROM!!!! Each one costs something like 5 to 8 hundred dollars. Good Luck!!! DD:]

 

[airhead]

I often invite the guys to go to the shooting range with me. They are welcome to hold the targets. :wow:

 

[Wolf Fang]

Originally posted by airhead
I often invite the guys to go to the shooting range with me. They are welcome to hold the targets. :wow:

reminds me of when i was at a range... people were complaining bout the targets as u cant see the hits (500 yrads hittin paper kinna hard 2 see) then the quiet one of the group sudgested getting some hobos to patch the targets for us and not to worry about enything flying by their heads lol

 

[Hiliter]

Gah! Run for the hills...

O wait im still a teenager too...

Im also interested on all of this, cause that whole hyper-paranoia thing is more a phase and it will either kick her butt (mental break downs are no good) or she\'ll move on.

DD- Sorry to say most likely this will be one of a few or many BF... no way around it. Give support, no matter what her decision is (even if its a bad one) because trying to \"guide\" things through from the sidelines probagly will just end up causing more problems than anything.

Good luck!