Tales from the Freak Bar..3

[lizcam]

Jesterz sweetie? Could you kind of tidy up the girls room please? We need a bit more of the bath salts and we\'re starting to run low on fluffy pink towels so there\'s some laundry to be done. Make sure you use the fabric softener. And not the high starch stuff we use for the men\'s towels when we get around to washing them once a new mop boy. There\'s a special box in the laundry. Have Undave show you.

BTW, you do know this place has a self-messing feature don\'t you? I spent days tidying the place up and then in one second the place gave a big shake and POOF it was a reaking pig sty again.

But you do make a good \"show\" of yourself here!

 

[JesterzUSMC]

Yes Liz, I found the circuit that guided the \"self-mess\" function, if you want it back, I\'ll re-install it when Squig takes over, but MY work is staying that way. lol
As for the laundry, I got one of the virgins to do it, all of it,(training for her post-virginal days) and we seem to have \"lost\" the starch. Don\'t bother replacing it, we\'ll make do with clean soft towels in the men\'s room, and I actually \"trained\" (read; psycho-hypno-programmed) one of the sherpas to hold a tray with toiletries in John. Did you want one in the Girls\'?
And I cleaned the couch and kept the change and pair of thong with a pentagram on it that I found in the cushions. The laundry virgin is including the thong in the wash. I\'m thinking it will be a nice decor addition in the John...lol.

Cheers!

 

[lizcam]

Originally posted by JesterzUSMC
Yes Liz, I found the circuit that guided the \"self-mess\" function, if you want it back, I\'ll re-install it when Squig takes over, but MY work is staying that way. lol
As for the laundry, I got one of the virgins to do it, all of it,(training for her post-virginal days) and we seem to have \"lost\" the starch. Don\'t bother replacing it, we\'ll make do with clean soft towels in the men\'s room, and I actually \"trained\" (read; psycho-hypno-programmed) one of the sherpas to hold a tray with toiletries in John. Did you want one in the Girls\'?
And I cleaned the couch and kept the change and pair of thong with a pentagram on it that I found in the cushions. The laundry virgin is including the thong in the wash. I\'m thinking it will be a nice decor addition in the John...lol.

Cheers!

You are talking about the men\'s softener, right? Because I LIKE my fluffy pink towels with the women\'s softener. And be nice to that virgin. You never know what position you\'ll be in when she\'s not a virgin any more! :twisted:

 

[JesterzUSMC]

I\'m being nice!
I\'m helping her to enlarge her scope of experience and talents!!

And yes, ALL the towels are clean and fluffy!

And I know what position I WANT to be in when she\'s ready to join the ranks of not so pure...:twisted:

I\' think I\'ll teach her how to cook my salsa omelets next...

 

[Undave]

Well if he\'s taken the Auto-messer offline we\'ll just have to do it the old fashioned way

 

[Roger Bunting]

Yep, we all had to earn our keep.

Oh, Jesterz, Clyde has made a mess on the floor and Fluffy is chasing cars again.

EDIT: Anyway, the auto-messer thing isn\'t electrical, it\'s magical. I don\'t know what you actually did when you thought you found the circuit, but I\'m sure we will find out soon enough. ???

 

[Bubba]

Does anyone know what\'s happening at the bar? All the slushy machines are shut down and melted. No hurricanes, no daquaris, no margarittas.
And far worse this morning - no coffee.

 

[lizcam]

Bubba, I need something strong in the caff.........no coffee? NO COFFEE!?!

DONNA! SOMETHINGS WRONG AROUND HERE!

<muttermutter> goin\' to the mancave for some coffee. Want me to bring you a cup, Bubba? I don\'t vouch for it as Billy makes it but it\'s hot and trong at least.

What is that ooz creeping out from under the Superfreak door?

 

[wiccanpony]

??? Stumbling up from the Basement with flashlight .....WTF! the lights went out?!?

looking around in bewilderment ...wait!!.....is that my ice cream melting in the mini fridge behind the bar.....NOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Liz rushes by wailing and clutching her coffee cup

Master Mop SGT. front and center..........

My dear Jesterz, I know the Marine Corp. doesn’t normally deal with things of a Magical Nature, which this Bar is, so come with me and I will show you how to handle future problems.

grabs a sherpa on the way to the demonic circuit box.....now, remove the blown fuse and take a new one from the basket under the box..there will be a silver safety pin also in the basket....you use the silver pin to get blood from the unwilling sherpa..remember the donor must be unwilling. Anointed the fuse in blood and place in circuit box.

Also yak butter or Albert sweat (how you make him sweat is up to you ) is much better for disarming the “Self-mess” function, the little imp trapped inside is a glutton for butter and sweat.

Oh and lastly..............give me my damn Thong! back :cussing:

 

[JesterzUSMC]

I\'m not THAT inept people. I recognize the difference between electrical and arcane circuitry!
The fuse blew...NOT MY DOING!! And the imp has no flow for the mess spell..

Let me clue you in on my qualifications:
GrandDad and Uncle, Both Electricians, I was 2881 in the Corps, that means I passed both Basic AND Advanced electronics before I could continue on to my communications training.
AND
I\'ve been a recovering Catholic since 7th Grade, and a devout Pagan since Freshmen Year!

You getting that? If I\'d been here, I would\'ve fixed the fuse, but you\'ll notice the laundry was still being done AFTER I broke the \"auto-mess\" circuit?!

Anyway, thanks for the tips on the care and feeding of imps Donna, much obliged

*poor sherpa*

Now that the lights are back on....someone help me do a headcount on the virgins...don\'t want any funny business going on on my watch.

As You Were!

 

[Bubba]

All better now. Seems someone was messing with the \"self-mess\" circuit. Of course the self-mess circuit is not the one labled self-mess. The bar is smarter than that.

Start messing with it and the AI kicks in and rerouts the circuit. Leaving me without power at the bar. :flame:

But, all is working now. Hurricanes are back in their slushy goodness, the ice-cream is firm and the coffee is hot, black and strong.

Any idea why there is a thong in the blender?
???

 

[JesterzUSMC]

Roger....is being treated like a completely useless buffoon part of the duties as Mopboy?
Just wondering...

 

[Sand Rat]

Depends on what treed you - was it Fluffy, Tiddles, Clyde, or Killer?

 

[wiccanpony]

my good \"go to Sabbath Sacrifice” thong is in the blender!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bubba]

I see no shame in getting treed by any of those. They are all mean and smell.

JesterzUSMC, so far you\'ve done a fine job. The freak\'s private lounge never smelled so good.

Don\'t feel bad, the Bar is a living breathing thing and nobody knows the full extent of it. I know there is a basement, a virgin room, a coffin dodger\'s room, a studio upstairs and the bar here.

I\'m sure there are sherpa quarters somewhere, but I\'ve never found the door (thankfully).

Out back, we\'ve a pool and a BBQ. Fluffy is always so handy at starting the fire there, just have to keep him pointed at the BBQ, not the pool. Tiddles roams the back yard and pool area as well, so you have to keep a sharp eye on the meat on the BBQ.

Clyde is no longer allowed indoors - but that does not stop him as he cannot read.

Killer is the one you have to really watch out for. Odds are the circuit damage was done by him with his little throwing stars and pirate daggers.

Plus there is my own apartment round the corner.

 

[Sand Rat]

Clyde is smarter than we think - he is the only fully trained suicide camel still in existance, after all.

 

[lizcam]

Originally posted by JesterzUSMC
Roger....is being treaed like a completely useless buffoon part of the duties as Mopboy?
Just wondering...

Um....yes. Read back to Billy\'s stint as miop boy. they were evil to him. They had me nakid in a towel for a few days too and they are much nicer to female mop-persons.

The hat doesn\'t help. Come to the basment with me and I\'ll make it all better. Poor boy......Now tell me about your picture. Do they call the a Marine cut?

 

[WingZ]

*wonders off looking for more things to play with*.. hurmm I wounder what this does?
*blows out a few candles & removes a plug from a pentagram outlet*

 

[airhead]

Found Clyde in his battle armor

 

[Dragonsreach]

Originally posted by airhead
Found Clyde in his battle armor

Damn that camel...............he\'s found the Bar\'s Platinum card.
No how in all that\'s (un)holy is Donna supposed to replace the damaged [/i]\"Equipment\"[/i]
Chains ain\'t cheap you know.