Tales from the Freak Bar..5

Dragonsreach

Dragonsreach

Super Moderator
Staff member
Originally posted by wiccanpony
lollollol


Why did the chicken cross the road?
-------------------------





BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The

chicken wanted CHANGE!



JOHN MC CAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need
to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other
side of the road.



HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross
the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right
from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it
deserves to cross the road.  But then, this really isn\'t about me.......


DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won\'t realize that he must
first deal with the problem on \'THIS\' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the \'OTHER SIDE\' of the road. What we need to do is
help him realize how stupid he\'s acting by not taking on his \'CURRENT\'
problems before adding \'NEW\' problems.



OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I\'m going to
give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don\'t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.



COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
of the chicken crossing the road...



ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken\'s
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he\'s GUILTY! You can see it in his
eyes and the way he walks.



PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the Farmer\'s Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
information.



DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I\'ve not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.



GRANDPA:

In my day we didn\'t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.



BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn\'t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.



ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........
reboot.



ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
chicken?



BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
chicken?



AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!



COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?



DICK CHENEY:

Where\'s my gun?



AL SHARPTON:

Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens
Click to expand...

CHICKEN:
To get away from you lot!
 
U

uberdark

New member
ITs MONDAY ............meh

ummm yeah.... so furry woodland creatures come in and have drinks of rum and begin to talk to one another. uber goes to the back of the room and promptly falls asleep...


have a good one.
 
U

Undave

Flockwit
It\'s Bank Holiday Monday.... meh

So no one is doing anything today. I was supposed to be having a huge game of Battlefleet Gothic at the club today but it looks like no one can be arsed to get out of bed.

Furry woodland creatures be damned... :mad:
 
Avelorn

Avelorn

Sven Jonsson
I got my money today! hooray!

Why the chicken crossed the road?

YOUTUBE:

-It\'s been photoshopped. That\'s not even a chicken... or a road!

HOTMAIL:
Get bigger chicken today! Cross road for XXX hot wild chicken action

COOLMINIORNOT:

- I know this is not a GW rant - but drink!!
- I think he used press moulds on those foot-prints.
- I read on the Internet that it has been photoshopped
- GOD BLESS THE CHICKEN!
- cause it needed contrast?
- It\'s not a boobie or even a tit!
- Use the search function on top left of the forums. Jeez.
- I don\'t come here often anymore and this is one of the reasons.
- It could have crossed the road for a multitude of reasons (that has been brought up in earlier discussions) some we might figure out and others that might be beyond our scope of imagination. I mean do we really know that a chicken has the same logicality as we humans?
-Logicality? What are you on about? absolute drivel!
-*eats popcorn*
-Sorry for poor english
- It crossed the road because of its intelligent design!
- lulz chikens is teh lulz like r u crossin road. Nah.
- Drink poison!
 
wiccanpony

wiccanpony

Official Freak Bar Witch
good one Avelorn :beer:

now for you Texas fans

This is My Texas.....
-------------------------

May 30th:
Just moved to Texas. Now this is how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a
place! I watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket.
It was beautiful. I\'ve finally found my home. I love it here.

June 14th:
Really heating up. Got to 95 today. Not a problem.
Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
What a pleasure  to see the sun everyday like this. I\'m turning into a
sun worshiper.

June 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more
mowing the lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 10th:
The temperature hasn\'t been below 100 all week. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least it\'s kind of windy
though. But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer
that I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of
my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned
my lesson though. Got to respect the ol\' sun in a climate like
this.

July 20th:
I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I
left this  morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch,
Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up
the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away.
The car now  smells like Kibbles and sh*ts. I learned my lesson though.
No more pets in this heat.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow
dryer!!  And it\'s hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is not working and
the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
needed to order parts.

July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.
$1,500 in damn house payments and we can\'t even go inside. Why did I
ever come here?

Aug. 4th:
It\'s 106 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed
today. It  cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this
freaking humidity makes the house feel like it\'s about 95. Stupid
repairman. I hate this stupid city.

Aug. 8th:
If another wise ass asks, \"Hot enough for you
today?\" I\'m going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like
baked cat!!

Aug. 9th:
Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat
on the black leather seats in the ol\' car. I thought my ass
was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my
legs and ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and
baked cat.

Aug. 10th:
The weather report might as well be a damn recording.
Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It\'s been too hot to do
crap for 2 months and the weatherman says it might really warm up
next week. Doesn\'t it ever rain in this desert? Water rationing
now, so my $1700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the pool
Even the cactus can\'t live in this damn heat.

Aug. 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 108 today.
Forgot to crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.
The installer came to fix it and said, \"Hot enough for you
today?\" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Freaking Texas . What kind of a sick demented idiot would
want to live here...
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
Well Roger, date day again. I had an idea to island hop this time. Seeing as though time and space mean very little on these dates how about we rent a yacht and travel to Easter Island ? we could view the statues and then when we get bored with that we can go to the Galapagos Islands and take pictures of the turtles and other wildlife with our new cameras.

Then we can retire to our yacht and sail into the sunset eating lobster and drinking our favorite drinks.

What do you think? Up for it? :D
 
U

uberdark

New member
oooh ooohhh can i come too.

i promise not to bring any squirrels....

how about some of my famous 5 alarm chili.

nummy nummy
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
bubba, caffien. I don\'t really care in what form. Woke up today to my son growling and slamming his bed against the wall because it broke in the middle of the night. That after only 4 hours of sleep. <sigh>


Why is Fluffy covered in butter, why are the hedge hogs stuck yo his tail and what is killer doing with that elaborite set of plans on that chalk board? ???
 
U

uberdark

New member
liz,

just sit back a moment and eat some yak butter. mmm .....mmm......mmmmmmm...

then we can get back to dungeon and begin torturing roger with smiley faces.

muwahahahaa
 
lizcam

lizcam

New member
Now Ubie, if you\'re going to do this you have to do it properly.


:beer::beer::beer::flip::flip::flip::bouncy::bouncy::bouncy::moon::moon:??????:possessed::possessed::(:(:(:drool::drool::drool::eek:
 
U

Undave

Flockwit
One of the Sherpas from the cafe just dropped off a food order for Roger.


News_Smiles2.jpg


Bon appetit :twisted:
 
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