Tales From The Freak Bar #9

[wiccanpony]

Welcome to the 9th incarnation of the Freak Bar, for those who are “New” allow me to inform you a little on our history.

The Bar was started as a role-playing thread, a CMON Cheers if you will, and as such magic rules. On the outside we pretty much look like a typical bar with large windows potted plants and a alley to the side. Now inside is another story.

Regulars
Bubba … looks like Elvis, our barkeep and voice of reason and it helps that he carries a gun too
Airhead…. Keeper of the Keys and part time bouncer
The Witch (me) I train the mop boys and can be found down in The Basement
Liz … the shoulder to cry on after visiting room 666 in the basement
Squig Hunter… in charge of popping up behind me and shouting BOO

A few simple rules ……….. Under a 1000 posts you can slink in for a drink, and you may only pee in the alley or potted plants ………. Over 1000, your are a FREAK! You get a prized key to the restrooms and a free stay in the Basement J

At 5000 you are A SUPER FREAK and the Super Freak Lounge is open to you
Mop Boy/Girl ………. 1000, and you are ours to do what we want to and you clean around here too

There is much more to tell but I’ll let some of our older wiser members fill you in

 

[wiccanpony]

Bar Stool Prophet and Necroghast please report to the Bar fitting room for your mop boy uniforms please, now the Freak Bar needs a Spring cleaning badly, I understand strange hideous creatures have been seen lucking in the men’s room.

And rumor has it we have black&white floor tile find it or else

Anyone who missed out on mop duty please sign up and I’ll put you on the list to be abused and humiliated .... and state if you're a minor for Liz's sake

 

[Necroghast]

But men's rooms anywhere are so disgusting! I'm betting here they're freakishly disgusting....HAHAHA

 

[Chrome]

New bar!

 

[Roger Bunting]

You forgot to mention Fluffy, Killer and Clyde.

 

[BarstoolProphet]

I'm here for my uniform fitting. Nothing polyester, I hope. Also, no stretch fabrics. You don't want to see me in stretch fabrics of any kind. It isn't pretty.

 

[alextheartist]

You'l be lucky sunshine...

 

[War Griffon]

You forgot to mention Fluffy, Killer and Clyde.

No she didn't...they're the mop boy/girl surprise

Hell if we keep changing bars I am going to need a stay in the basement to relax and unwind, mind you I am a few hours off a 24 hour journey including flights and an 8 hour time change so maybe a stay in the basement is what is needed anyway by the time I get home...

 

[PegaZus]

*scurries across the fresh and formally clean ceiling and into the newly transported corner hole*

 

[Sand Rat]

Hmm - needs more character.

 

[mud duck]

the order of large, overstuff, leather chairs is in. Just the perfect thing to watch the matches on the big screens. How bout a couple in the corner for knitting, book reading, and what nots?

Oh, and where did we want to put the pillows/mats for Fluffy,Killer, and Clyde? We don't need Fluffy wreaking the good chairs again.

 

[Dragonsreach]

By the way the black and white striped rug isn't a rug.
That's Tiddles, who's still hibernating, and yes I know Tigers don't hibernate but you try telling him that.
View attachment 2070

 

[airhead]

But he's so warm and snuggly when he's in that mood. Much better than dragon scales.

 

[Roger Bunting]

How could I forget Tiddles?

 

[Undave]

Bah! What's with the whole explaining things post? I thought the whole point of the Freakbar was that you pick it all up as you go along with gentle... persuasion from certain select clientelle.

Anyway after the evening I've just had involving "swordfights" with strap-ons and the trouserless barman doing laps of the pub to the tune of "Spanish Flea" I feel I need some real entertainment. Pour me another Old Rosie and let the festivities commence!

 

[wiccanpony]

coming up behind Undave to snap a collar and leash around his neck ..........dragging him toward the Basement door ......... you are the festivities! my pet
Bahhahahahahaha

 

[dauber22]

I understand strange hideous creatures have been seen lucking in the men’s room.

Well, I guess this is at least a slight improvement from the last thread where I was referred to as "a large pile of something nasty". In fact, Strange Hideous Creature used to be my nickname in Junior High.

 

[mud duck]

OH Yes! OH NO! The hair, the hair! And he's throwing off his winter coat! This is going to be worse then my Sister's husky......

 

[Sand Rat]

Right - time to start handing out the BFG's

 

[PegaZus]

Right - time to start handing out the BFG's

Wouldn't happen to be a Standard Issue Big Gun, would it?



In case you're not familiar with Ghost in the Shell, after whats-his-name (Batou?) jumps down to talk to the girl getting crushed after blasting the crab tank to the junk yard, she asks what gun he used. Thus the line, "Just your standard issue big gun."