wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
told you to use baby powder, but would you listen to me, noooooooooooo 
Tales from the Freak Bar
- Thread starter Bubba
- Start date
told you to use baby powder, but would you listen to me, noooooooooooo 
<A few handy gross mental images for those with limited imagination>
1. Cilla Black at the Royal Variety Performance a few years ago...
2. Jade Goody
3. Richard Blackwood having colonic irrigation on \"The salon\" - I didn\'t watch it - but it sounds N.A.S.T.Y.
4. The Cheeky girls
5. Your mum, you home early, strange noises from the bedroom ...
6. A three week old, half-decomposed corpse. In Polyester.
7. Jade Goody
8. That feeling you get when you KNOW you\'re gonna throw up, but you can\'t stop yourself and you can smell/taste it...
9. Being told you have a babysitter for the night, only to find that it is Michael Jackson. He\'s brought some Jesus juice.
10. Finding your dad\'s old \"magazine stash\" ... Only to find you can\'t open them...
(Can you taste it yet ? :|~) lol
1. Cilla Black at the Royal Variety Performance a few years ago...
2. Jade Goody
3. Richard Blackwood having colonic irrigation on \"The salon\" - I didn\'t watch it - but it sounds N.A.S.T.Y.
4. The Cheeky girls
5. Your mum, you home early, strange noises from the bedroom ...
6. A three week old, half-decomposed corpse. In Polyester.
7. Jade Goody
8. That feeling you get when you KNOW you\'re gonna throw up, but you can\'t stop yourself and you can smell/taste it...
9. Being told you have a babysitter for the night, only to find that it is Michael Jackson. He\'s brought some Jesus juice.
10. Finding your dad\'s old \"magazine stash\" ... Only to find you can\'t open them...
(Can you taste it yet ?
:|~) lol
awww, you guys are all so sweet!
Donna, I\'ve been cooking extra to stuff in the freezer to make life easier on all of us, hubby is a big helper and will do anything to help, but he\'s not the most accomplished cook in the world. Lucky for me I really enjoy cooking!
Bubba, this is actually our second, so I\'m not totally clueless about what I\'m in for. And my ankles are doing fine, just so long as I keep cooking our meals instead of getting take out. Waaaay too much sodium, makes me puff up like a balloon. The bigest problem for me is my pelvis, it feels like it has the structural integrity of play-doh and every time I move it feels like two halves of a broken bowl being ground together. I just gotta keep moving, it doesn\'t get too bad unless I spend a lot of time sitting.
Kevin, that is a cutie!
Mike, thanks for calling me kid, I\'m staring down the barrell at 30, and I\'ve been finding a LOT of grey hairs. Damnit! Oh well, hubby is bald, I guess I can be grey.
Mod, I have a bottle of Pinot Noir that is calling my name, and I\'m thinking about maybe having a half a glass. I\'m not worried about getting the kid drunk, my main concern is having a drink, going into labor, and not getting any meds for delivery because of it. Don\'t worry about your sense of self preservation, I\'m too busy arguing with myself to worry about damaging you!
Dan, I agree with Lloyd, that list is pretty tame. Maybe the bloated, rotted corpse would have more impact if you found it about 30 feet upriver from where you just drank?
Lloyd, if you\'re buying, I think I\'ll have that half glass of pinot noir on your tab. Thanks bud. Let me know when you\'re ready for some grog and I\'ll hook you up.
Donna, I\'ve been cooking extra to stuff in the freezer to make life easier on all of us, hubby is a big helper and will do anything to help, but he\'s not the most accomplished cook in the world. Lucky for me I really enjoy cooking!
Bubba, this is actually our second, so I\'m not totally clueless about what I\'m in for. And my ankles are doing fine, just so long as I keep cooking our meals instead of getting take out. Waaaay too much sodium, makes me puff up like a balloon. The bigest problem for me is my pelvis, it feels like it has the structural integrity of play-doh and every time I move it feels like two halves of a broken bowl being ground together. I just gotta keep moving, it doesn\'t get too bad unless I spend a lot of time sitting.
Kevin, that is a cutie!
Mike, thanks for calling me kid, I\'m staring down the barrell at 30, and I\'ve been finding a LOT of grey hairs. Damnit!
Oh well, hubby is bald, I guess I can be grey.Mod, I have a bottle of Pinot Noir that is calling my name, and I\'m thinking about maybe having a half a glass. I\'m not worried about getting the kid drunk, my main concern is having a drink, going into labor, and not getting any meds for delivery because of it. Don\'t worry about your sense of self preservation, I\'m too busy arguing with myself to worry about damaging you!
Dan, I agree with Lloyd, that list is pretty tame. Maybe the bloated, rotted corpse would have more impact if you found it about 30 feet upriver from where you just drank?
Lloyd, if you\'re buying, I think I\'ll have that half glass of pinot noir on your tab. Thanks bud. Let me know when you\'re ready for some grog and I\'ll hook you up.
Highbulp Billy
New member
You got to wear latex - you lucky git, that\'s so much more forgiving than this new leather outifit. And the studs are freezing.
Ho-hum... moppity-moppity-mop.
Hey Spazzy, if you feel like the waters are about to break please aim for the bucket - I\'ve already had to clean up after one of those before and I\'m not looking forward to anothe go
War Griffon
New member
I wouldn\'t worry about that if I was you in fact I would go as far as to say that is the least of your worries when you make mop boy just wait until the pets realise they will have more meat on a mop boy than normal your life is going to be spent running around between Donna and the pets :twisted::twisted:Originally posted by uberdark
sorry guys i am too old and too hairy and over weight for the suit. lets put it this way some things should just stay concealed.
*insert gross mental image here*
Spazzy good luck I hope it all goes well for you when the time comes, I thought you would have learnt your lesson after the first one that carpet commando\'s are bad for your health and give more grey hairs than anything else
Billy I love that mop boy smiley you will have to make sure it gets pasted on when the next mug...I mean mop boy shows up
[Best Southern Gent Voice] Why I\'d be my pleasure Miss Donna. [/Best Southern Gent Voice]Originally posted by wiccanpony
@ Modd..........
Wheeee SMACK!!(Rubs hand to remove sting from Impact)
*Distant sound of Modderhu whimpering*
Laphroiag, Nah cheap mass produced for uneducated taste. Bladnock is the whisky of choice.
Oh And Modderhu too much Green & Blacks does have a \"Side Effect\". Expect a long sit in the smallest room.
Highbulp Billy
New member
\'tis more than a smiley, it\'s a badge of office, worn with prideOriginally posted by War Griffon
...Billy I love that mop boy smiley you will have to make sure it gets pasted on when the next mug...I mean mop boy shows up
...just hope there\'s another sucker on his way though. It looks like Spazzy\'s baby may make his debut in the bar and I don\'t have enough hot towels ready for that (luckily I don\'t have an appropriate smiley for this
)Pah! I\'ve had more fun in Donna\'s dungeon... for which I think I have an appointment due sometime soon.
Ho hum, yet another indistinct lowland whisky. Dry and mealy-mouthed it is. If you want lowland, Glenkinchie has a beautiful delicacy. And by the way, it\'s \"Bladnoch\", note the \'h\'. Peasants!
*Walking past spazzy, with a mug of coffee in one hand, a glass of Pinot Noir in the other, and a lit cigarette*
Originally posted by Modderrhu
Ho hum, yet another indistinct lowland whisky. Dry and mealy-mouthed it is. If you want lowland, Glenkinchie has a beautiful delicacy. And by the way, it\'s \"Bladnoch\", note the \'h\'. Peasants!
Nope Bladnock Distillery -- Near Wigton, Dumfries & Galloway. Not all that far from where Ralfmetal lives.
And it\'s certianly not Dry and Mealy mouthed but a smooth and very subtle Taste.
Probably something you mere ankle biters can\'t appreciate. (Yet)
Hey I didn\'t wanna make it TOO bad...
I could\'ve done worse lol - if any of you read that idea I had a while back about the priest...
But I thought Jade Goody was pretty bad.
Besides, UD only said \"gross mental image\" - not \"eye-meltingly disguting\"
@ SC - Yeah we\'ve probably all seen a few nasty things, but I don\'t think people need to know the details
But I respect your PoV.
Peace out people
I could\'ve done worse lol - if any of you read that idea I had a while back about the priest...
But I thought Jade Goody was pretty bad.
Besides, UD only said \"gross mental image\" - not \"eye-meltingly disguting\"
@ SC - Yeah we\'ve probably all seen a few nasty things, but I don\'t think people need to know the details
But I respect your PoV.
Peace out people
wiccanpony
Official Freak Bar Witch
Looks like it’s time to start a “Baby Pool” .............. jog my memory Spazzy, what month are you do ?
Originally posted by wiccanpony
I say= A Boy, 8 pound 3 ounces.
Modderhu an Apology = Bladnock Distillery is spelled with a K. On the bottle in my house Bladnoch (Typical)
I\'m due the 11th of this month, exactly one week from today. We know from the ultrasound that its a boy, but I can\'t help but think of the stories of people who prepared for one gender and got the other...
DR is probably about right, our daughter was 7 lb 12 oz, and my husband was a 9 pounder when he was born. So, with that info in mind, bet away! What should the prize for the winner be?
Mod, a woman can be a fickle creature, and I have my whole lifetime to argue with myself. I can pause my arguement to harrass you quite easily.
DR is probably about right, our daughter was 7 lb 12 oz, and my husband was a 9 pounder when he was born. So, with that info in mind, bet away! What should the prize for the winner be?
Mod, a woman can be a fickle creature, and I have my whole lifetime to argue with myself. I can pause my arguement to harrass you quite easily.
