Tales from the Freak Bar

[uberdark]

Originally posted by funnymouth
BARKEEP!

toughest drink you know, with a tequila back.
ive been looking at invitations all day. ugh.


.......how about knob.

oh man are you getting married?

if so just shake your head up and down and say yes dear.

and forget knob.

you need some black raspberry moonshine my grandpa still makes at his place. and try some of this peppermint schnapps i made in my bathtub.

yep i can put some hair on your chest and then burn it right off.

so what burns ya funnymouth.

 

[Bubba]

Originally posted by funnymouth
...been looking at invitations all day....

Perchance is Mr. Mouth about to become Mr. & Mrs. Mouth?

This rounds on the house.
:beer:

 

[matty1001]

WooHoo! Take a look at that rating! That definately is the Badgers Nadgers!
And iv just had a promotion at work! Top Dog kitchen chef now!

 

[wiccanpony]

Congratulations Matty............. going to google Badgers Nadgers, but I’m pretty sure they are the same as rat’s nuggets lol

 

[Highbulp Billy]

Originally posted by matty1001
WooHoo! Take a look at that rating! That definately is the Badgers Nadgers!
And iv just had a promotion at work! Top Dog kitchen chef now!

Korean restaurant is it?

\'Grats on the promotion (and the the rating) things certainly are on the up for you :beer:

 

[hakoMike]

(punches time clock)

Okay, hand over the mop. I\'ve had years of cleaning up unidentifiable moist things off floors. How hard could this be?

(stands in silent awe...)

 

[Highbulp Billy]

Well, I only had the mop for about two weeks and I did what I could... hid in a corner and cried mostly! Good luck tackling the unidentifiable stains (even Future floor polish and acetone don\'t work in here). Now I can take up my proper position at the bar...

Mine\'s a pint, Bubba and a bowl of peanuts for flicking at the new mop boy. Aah, freedom

 

[wiccanpony]

:beer: green beer for everyone and green cream cheese and bagels too.......... dancing a little Irish jig into the CD lounge


and here\'s a bit of useless information : http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/23/green_hamster_sperm/ :wow:lol

 

[dauber22]

Imagine THAT stain on Monica\'s blue dress. lollollollollol

 

[supervike]

You know, once many moons ago...I worked in a Magazine/Cigar store. But also, in addition to that , the owner thought it would be good to sell \'porno\' magazines as well...so he had a little section of the store devoted to his depravity (the section was \'blocked off\' by a cardboard door that said \'No one under 18 allowed)..

Anyhow, behind that little section, he had two \'peep show\' movie players. For a quarter, your could watch a little short porno clip.

My whole point to this is that I WAS THE MOP BOY for that area. One of my \'jobs\' when closing the store was to mop the whole floor, including that little sicko room. I only did that once, then I realized I was never going back into that room again.

Ah, how I remember the little fellas that would go into that room...I\'d hear the quarters drop and like a minute later, they\'d hurry out of the store, red faced and strangely relieved.

I\'ll take a Diet Mt. Dew please, Bar Keep..

 

[wiccanpony]

:beer: I’m sure mop boys everywhere bless the Computer and Home DVD’s Gods.

Now the little fellas can do “it” at home and clean their own floors.:twisted:lol

 

[Torn blue sky]

I been away how long now? And the topic still never changes *sigh*
Bottle Of Jegermeister and a shotglass cheers Bubba...One of those days.

You there with the mop! Yeah you! Dance!
Don\'t force me to make you, it\'s bad enough trying to clean the stains without prying .45\'s out of the floor!
:beer:

 

[hakoMike]

Originally posted by Torn blue sky
I been away how long now? And the topic still never changes *sigh*
Bottle Of Jegermeister and a shotglass cheers Bubba...One of those days.

You there with the mop! Yeah you! Dance!
Don\'t force me to make you, it\'s bad enough trying to clean the stains without prying .45\'s out of the floor!
:beer:

Wah! Okay!

Although, judging from the bathroom floor, I don\'t think \"good aim\" is something I need to worry about here.

 

[Dragonsreach]

Oi vey Vikey, that story made me shudder.

I ended up volunteering to \"Mop Out\" the Shower cubicles at a Scout holiday for 20 scouts once!
I expected Mud & Muck, BUT.........

How can anything that small make so much mess? Now multiply it by 20.

Remember the Autopsy scene in \"Silence of the Lambs\". Man did I wish I had some Menthol Vapour rub to stick under my nose that day.
Mud, Smelly Hiking socks, Bloody Sticking plasters, A piece of once white clothing (Underwear) now vaguely grey/brown, an organic something Brown & Smelly with Straw and Heather bits sticking out of it, a rabbit skull, part of a Wild Sheep horn (we were in Scotland) and a part chewed candy bar.
Little Horrorbags. (Can\'t believe one of them is now studying to be a Doctor)

 

[wiccanpony]

lol LOL....... girl’s showers are a whole different kettle of fish.

The floors are coated with a mixture of shampoo, conditioner, hair and other hygiene products etc. just as dirty as boys, only it smells better. oh did I mention hair, it’s a wonder these girls aren’t bald by age 20.

 

[DaN]

Surely the water from the shower washes the hair stuff away...? :s

 

[matty1001]

My mates sister sticks all her loose hairs onto the tiles above the bath, and no, she doesn\'t bother to take them off!

 

[Dragonsreach]

Originally posted by matty1001
My mates sister sticks all her loose hairs onto the tiles above the bath, and no, she doesn\'t bother to take them off!

Arrrggh the mental image that brought to the surface!
may the Celestial Dragon grant that they are head hairs!!

 

[Modderrhu]

Heh, much what I was thinking. Now, how about matty planting his own short \'n\' curlies there right next to her\'s. She might be a little more considerate if she gets all grossed out.

 

[krom1415]

I really wish I hadn\'t read that lol