The \"awkward\" thread

[Mosch]

Just remembered I posted in one of those in another board some years ago and read the thread ago. It was incredibly funny So this thread is for you to post your most embarassing moments so everyone else can have a good laugh
And to show I am afraid, I\'ll be the first to post my most embarassing moment ever.


When I was on vacation in England with my whole class, some idiots decided it would be funny to play around with \"fart gas\" and stink bombs. Somehow this craze took over the whole city and soon those damn things were everywhere. I just steered clear of it and went my merry way.
Or at least, that was the plan.
At one point, I had to use the toilet and thankfully there was a McDonalds. I got it, did my business, started to wash my hands.... and some idiots spray around with their damn fart gas and throw a stink bomb directly onto my trousers. They thought it was so funny. I didn\'t. I turned around to tell them to get out and/or apologize and they hit me in the face with that idiotic fart gas and run off.
Fart gas in your eyes hurts like hell and the stench on the trousers wasn\'t too good either. So I decided to try to wash it off. Which, of course, didn\'t work.

Now imagine how I leave McDonalds. Eyes red from all the rubbing, stinking of farts and trousers obviously wet. Top it off with the fact that we had to wait 15 minutes in the inner city for our teachers and then went to see a movie. All the time I involuntarily upheld the illusion of some drug addict who just pissed and shit himself, excuse my language. Great. I was king of Canterbury that day.

 

[finn17]

LOL...

Originally posted by Mosch
I was king of Canterbury that day.

Or at least an anagram of that sentence..

 

[Orchid Noir]

How\'s this for awkward moment?

Hilarity, and on live local news! lol

I used to attend the renaissance festival in Houston as much as humanly possible every year when younger. Well one of my friends opened a booth, her other half was sick one weekend, I was garbed so I got nabbed to replace him in the noon parade. So far no biggie, right. Ok.

Big deal of day: one of the big Houston channels is out to cover parade live, for family weekend promotion at that.

Get in line with the rest of the merchants reps, both hands on huge single pole banner completely engaged in keeping the thing in close to proper orientation, start half mile-ish trek in muggy Houston early October.

Three layers of skirting all where they should be and secure ....... check.

Corset/bodice cinched tied and secure .... check.

Shirt under bodice adjusted, tied and secure .... check ..... or so we all thought....


About half way through the parade, right as I\'m approaching the crew who has positioned it\'s self right smack in the middle of the rout so everyone has to part around them so it looks cool on camera, the shirt decides it no longer wants to be tied and that my brand new tattoo across my chest needs to be broadcast in it\'s entirety (of course along with both ...er.... canvases). Now recall that hands are holding said huge banner. Regaining and keeping hold on appropriate modesty was NOT easy, but the show must go on. lol

I have yet to live this one down almost ten years later.lollol

 

[No Such Agency]

Orchid - could have been worse I guess...

As for me... pretty much all of high school

 

[Cesar]

I\'ll second you on that one N.S.A.

I think i\'ll hold my tounge about anything else for now. :]

 

[Naukhel]

Life\'s Most Embarrassing Moments.

Wasn\'t that a tv show?

Starred Steve Guttenburg and Wynona Ryder, didn\'t it?

Y\'know, I can\'t actually think of a truly embarrassing moment, off the top of my head.
I\'m sure I\'ve had plenty, but nothing actually comes to mind.

 

[Infidel Castro]

Once, when I was 17rs old and had been drinking cider at a party, I got a little tipsy (probably only 2 pints, but that\'s the beauty of youth - in fact 2 pints is still the optimum amount of beer for warmth and pleasure. 3 for tiddled, 4 for a great haze. Anything else is just drinking for the sake of drinking). I got home somehow at about the time my parents would have wanted me home and probably got sick out the back garden. I remember waking up in the morning feeling like something had gone wrong. Nothing was apparent though until I tried to get to the toilet and saw a lump of turd on the floor. I\'d attempted to get to the toilet in the night and possibly in my sleep. I had to clean the stuff up whilst keeping down the sick and attempting to keep the issue from my folks. I managed on both counts. I then stayed home from school.

I\'ve never ever been in that position since and have only ever been sick once or twice from drinking because I know my body\'s limits. DO YOU?

I shouldn\'t have mentioned this incident

 

[Legacy Account]

I have just snorted and snotted all over the laptop!

I remember a friend of mine waking up in a complete stupour and pissing into what he thought was the bog. It was my mate in his sleeping bag on the bedroom floor! He was not amused.

I once walked into a vice on a workbench at school. Caught me square in the knackers. I ended up on my knees in front of a class of 20 kids who thought it was hilarious....

 

[Infidel Castro]

Pissing on a bloke in a sleeping bag, that\'s got to be a winner lol

I\'m going to push myself to the very limit here now with another beauty. It happens to people, but it\'s timing that makes this funny (and a little close to the bone, so pleae don\'t read on if you want to maintain a basic level of respect for me).

* Filth warning! *


My \'first time\' was a drunken fumble with my future wife and now past wife as we split a few years ago (I\'m strangely monogamous by the way, but that\'s a nother story). I\'ve never been worried arriving at Paddington too soon. Quite the opposite. I had a little anxiety about actually NOT arriving at Paddington if you know what I mean. Actually that\'s wrong - to put it another way I was worried about arriving at Paddington but not dropping off the passengers (this is a marvellous analogy, is it not?).

So, first time, we\'ve done the deed and I was feeling proud as punch but slightly annoyed that I didn\'t achieve the obvious step of off-loading the passengers. I eventually fell asleep and found myself at some point having a dream. In the dream I was doing the deed again and this time the passengers were disembarking as they normally would. I realised what was happening and woke up to find the passengers had used my lady\'s back as a platform, and were making their way to the mattress.

She never knew.

I really think I probably went too far with this truth, but I\'m happy with having got it off my chest

 

[Avelorn]

lollollol

oh man, get off her back! or get off on her back? almost the same words, very different google results.

I don\'t remember if I have any funny embarrasing moments.. got to think some more.

 

[james sequeira]

those vice\'s are buggers scott we had loads in our wood tech class and massive squared edged wooden tables

 

[finn17]

I\'ve never done anything embarassing in my life...

...ever:innocent:

 

[GreenOne]

Nice story Reverend... just a thing...
Where the hell is Paddington???

I have some embarrassing moments, most of them don\'t make good stories.

I do have some with drunken friends though..
Here is one:
Here in Quebec, we have our national holyday, called St-Jean-Baptiste, on 24th of June. Party in the streets in every town, just great.
My friend\'s girlfriend, at that time, was being introduced to the whole partying thing...
Obviously, my friend being too drunk to attend his girlfriend, I had to take the harsh job of playing the guardian on her first big bash. She was really drunk, I was not that much...
One of the fun thing, on this night, everybody you come upon, you wish him \" Bonne St-Jean!\" even if you don\'t know him.
She got confused during the night and started wishing \" Happy velentine\'s Day\", instead and I could not get her to understand. So I went through almost everybody on the site, while she was wishing all of them the wrong holyday.
That was fun.

Surely that\'s not gross enough for you, here is another:

I went with some friends to one of those \"Bars\" men go to, the Chique it is called, in montréal. There was this black dancer whose stage name was Patricia, between two dances, she came up to me ( Naked should I mention.) and asked me a smoke, we made good eye contact.
Later, on her second dance, I was kind of concentrated, she started looking back at me, during the whole show, I felt she was dancing just for me.
The end of her shift came, she told me I could tag along as she finishes her evening in some afterhour, I agreed to that, we settled to meet outside.

When I got outside...
There was a dead guy on the street ( Of of the american that was sitting near the stage the whole night)... police everywhere... my friend\'s car was used as a pole for holding the yellow ribbon.
Kinda change one\'s mood.
There was this Harvey\'s halfway inside the \'perimeter\' where the police agreed we\'d go pee, but my friends felt like taking something to eat, fries and burger, and got back ouside.
So there I was with my friends, eating fast food, on the edge of the perimeter, while the dancer\'s where testifying, Patricia giving me awkward looks and the TV cameras got the whole thing.
That was great, especialy when I had to give explanations, for the Dancers, the deadbody and the fastfood...

 

[Infidel Castro]

Analogy Mr Green, analogy. Paddington is the final destination as it were. The end of the line. The completion of the journey. In this case a carnal journey. And never forget...wear a hat, squire! Analogy...

 

[GreenOne]

@Reverend:
I hope you didn\'t think I was serious with that question...
It\'s been a while, but I did not froget ALL about it.

 

[tzor]

My awkward moments aren\'t as funny as yours but here goes.

When I was in college, one evening, there was a keg party at my dorm. My parents were visiting and were at a nearby hotel (only they don\'t really come into the story). Bottom line I drank too much (so called) beer. Normally this would not be too much of a story, but in the middle of the night, I got up, grabbed my eye glasses and ...

POP

Out flew one of the lenses into an unknown corner of my dorm room. So here I am drunk and in a state of panic. Drugs in combination are dangerous things and this was booze and adreneline. So I start a frantic but drunken search for the lens. Where is it? I start picking everything up.

Then I realized I just picked up the catcus ... by the business end.

My conversation to myself went as follows.

\"You know this should hurt.\"
\"It doesn\'t, so I must be really drunk.\"
\"I better go back to sleep and look for it in the morning.\"
\"Oh yea, I better remove these thorns first.\"

Oh boy was I hung over the next morning. And it took a major search effort with my parents (now that\'s embarrasing) to find my missing lens.

 

[Sand Rat]

Whilst I was working for my last employer prior to coming to the land of sand, I injuried my back, and had to go through two weeks of daily visits to the physical therapist to try to get my spinal colum back semi strait. During the first visit, while the PT was looking at my back, with my shirt off, she came around my front and noticed two half moon shaped bruises on my upper chest, and became very interested in them, wanting to know how they had happened, and so forth. My then wife who had caused them by digging her hands in during the carnal act, as Rev put it, was standing there turning redder and redder by the moment - finally the PT looked at her and me, and then said, \"oh. . . .\" and turned bright red as well.

Me? I asked to put my shirt back on cause the room was cold.

 

[Infidel Castro]

Hehe! Nice one Mr Cult! Making people squirm is a rare occasion but it really is worth it (even if you were embarassed at the time).

Green sir, thank god we\'re on the same wavelength

 

[Sand Rat]

Actually, I was on so much dope at the time I never even changed colors. But the wife and the PT turned red enough for all of us.

 

[Avelorn]

Now I remember one!

I was at dinner with my girlfriend her parents. This was one of the first dinners together with her parents, if not the first one. But anyway I was rather tense and wanted to make a good impression. Cause that\'s what dinners together with girlfriends parents is all about, making a good impression.

So it all went through nicely, I joked and they laughed, they joked and I laughed. Everything felt just fine... until my brother called me on my cellphone. Then the higher levels of my brain suddenly unplugged, and my primal immature brain, glad of finally being free, decided to make a joke. It felt that I had some excess air left in my stomach.. so I answered my brother on the phone by quite simply loudly burping \"hello!!\" in the phone. Great party trick, eh? Directly after my \"little performance\" the rest of my brain decided that the coffeybreak was over and I instantly realised what I had done. I couldn\'t stop laughing.. and at the same time I felt so embarrased.

Luckily my gf\'s parents have a great sense of humour!