Here\'s how you get her back.
And by get her back I mean, here\'s how you get even.
I am married now, but when I was in college I had a friend, we\'ll call him Satan, who happened to be the ex-boyfriend of my wife. When she told him we were engaged he acted SO happy. Because, afterall, he was over her. On top of that, he wanted them to remain friends! (great) Funny, he never mentioned wanting to remain friends with me.
Why do women want to remain friends with their ex\'s? Is it to keep their options opened? Is it to drive their current boyfriend mad? Who cares. It\'s just a universal truth that they do. And another universal truth is that no matter how hip and liberal the new boy pretends to be, he will actually be mad with jealousy.
So anyway, Satan told my wife (fiancee then) that he was over her and that our engagement shouldn\'t affect their friendship. Well, my wife is a very strong woman and I knew that me telling her \"Hell NO!\" was not an option. Luckily Satan revealed himself for what he really was, but only after he put us through a year of hell. Now take notes for this is what you should do.
My wife, blessed-though-misguided soul that she is, invited Satan to play guitar at our wedding. (He was ok at the instrument) He agreed. So half of our music was taken care of.
Then with about 9 months to go until our nuptials he told my wife that he was pretty sure he still had feelings for her. This didn\'t take a few seconds like it took me to type it, no. It took all evening. All freaking evening while I sat at home wondering if we were still going to be able to have our date. We didn\'t. Her excuse: he started to cry. (taking notes?) Naturally my wife rebuffed his advace.
Then the next day he called her up and said that he felt like a fool and he wanted to make it up to her. When? You guessed it, right before our date. So a whole weekend was wasted watching TV and letting my male imagination tie my stomach in knots.
A few weeks later he had a \"girlfriend.\" Write that down because it\'s the only way he was able to ingratiate himself to me. My wife believed immidiately. I tried to tell her he hadn\'t changed, but she would not believe that he could lie to her. Oh, but would she believe by the time he was done!
Every week -that is every single blessed week- he had relationship problems with his new girlfriend that required my wife\'s immidiate attention. Yes, all of these incedents happend when we were to be on dates.
The guess what? Yep, about 6 months before our wedding his relationship ended and he was shocked! Why didn\'t it work? he cried. You guessed it, after a long evening of discussing the problem, without my presence of course, he determined that he was still in love with my wife. She did not reciprocate and another date night was obliterated.
Let me point out here that boys crying seems to have an aphrodisiac affect on some women. The Cure has sold millions of albums around this premise.
The next day he called and apologized for being a fool. It turns out he was \"just lonely,\" and not really in love with my wife.
We debated whether he should be allowed in the wedding. She told him we weren\'t sure he should. I was this close to convincing her that he was volitile and she should stay away. But what happened? Another girlfriend. It seemed they were a dime a dozen.
Well this one ended the same way. He used her to get back in our good graces. Then he had problems with her, which he really did. Afterall, she knew he didn\'t give a crap about her and that she was being used. But he finally broke up with her and then one week before the wedding, confessed his undying love for my wife. He asked my wife to go away with him, playing on her pre-wedding jitters, and told her he could not watch her marry the wrong man. Well, she, yet again, rebuffed and he disappeared, leaving us short a musician one week before the show.
So that\'s what you do. Spend the next year torturing the two of them so that every waking moment is misery. Cry a lot. Change your mind a lot. But decide that you can handle it until the week before, then disappear.
Actually, no matter how hard you try to prevent it that is likely what Aaron will be feeling: Misery. Unless he\'s some super-sexless-emotionless-man. Remember that he is innocent, even if she is not.
Don\'t waste a year of your life pursuing a dead end. What if you do hook up? Do you want a girl who is that wishy-washy? And don\'t pretend the thought isn\'t in the back of your mind.
If you want my advice, which precious few people do, spend this next year enjoying yourself. Don\'t think of her. Don\'t go to the wedding. Don\'t ask your friends how it all went. And 5 years down the road you won\'t have to kick yourself for wasting a year.
barkel