They\'re Coming to Take Me Away...

MPJ

MPJ

New member
It\'s official, my wife is in surgery this very minute and I\'m boss of the house for the next few weeks (she comes home tomorrow but will be laid up a while).

I\'m either going mad with power or losing my marbles at the thought of taking care of a house, 3 kids, and a wife. I must confess to being one of those dads that gets up in the morning, goes to work, comes home and plays with the kids, tucks them in, then plays with the wife. I don\'t even know how to use the washing machine thingie.

When my wife went away for a week the other year I hired a cleaner to come in the day before she came home and do the house top to bottom (I got in big trouble for that one from the wife). When she would come home for the summer while we lived in Texas I would buy a new catbox and litter the day before she came back and throw the old one out, litter and all.

This past weekend I did my first baking ever (I\'m 37yrs old)...

Rice Crispy Squares. I made them in the microwave and still managed to burn my fingers doing it. :drunk:
 
U

uberdark

New member
points finger, covers mouth and laughs.


seriously though things will be fine. just remember to put the pizza place on speed dial number 1. chinese on number 2 and a psychiatrist on number 3.

after that everything should be fine.

i had to do this last year with a newborn and a 4 year old at christmas. that one was a tough one. if i can do it i know you can. after all this is uberdark your talking to.

so without further ado.

:moon::moon::moon:
 
In Chigh P.I.

In Chigh P.I.

New member
Whats this \'washing machine\' you speak of?
I just put my clothes in a basket and a few days later they appear in the wardrobe nice and clean again

magic i tell thee! lol
 
S

supervike

Super Moderator
Ah you will appreciate your Mrs. better at the end of this!

I on the other hand wear the pants in my family....as soon as I have finished up the laundry!lollol
 
PegaZus

PegaZus

Stealth Freak
Man up! Prove you can handle such simple tasks and that they are forever beneath you! Muhahahaha...


What?

Yes, dear.

Sorry dear.

Right away dear.

Sorry, guys, gotta go do something.
 
MPJ

MPJ

New member
Since she\'s going in for \'augmentative\' surgery which is rather expensive I had better \'appreciate\' her better. :drunk:

OK, it\'s all her doing/requesting and I like her find just the way she is but if she want\'s to make \'improvements\' who am I to say no.

For those of you who noticed that the surgery is elective and expensive yet remember that I posted a few days ago that I\'m likely to lose my job shortly I must say that unfortunately the surgery was booked and paid for when things were going well. Wifie feels quite badly about going through with this now and I more or less had to push her to keep it (we would have lost half the money by cancelling and I know she wants it so bad. I\'ll just have to find a way to pay off the debt later, I\'m good at that.)

Ooh, just got a call while writing this that she is out of surgery now. Gotta grab the baby and go see her.

TTFN.
 
Z

Zora

New member
MPJ - Couple of tricks from a single guy for meals:

1 - frozen lasagna. VERY easy.

2 - spaghetti. Simply brown hamburger (I also use kielbasa) in a pan \'til done; add spaghetti sauce and turn on low. Then boil spaghetti noodles for approx. 9 mins. Mix. Walah!

3 - Oh, and for \"french bread\", try the frozen foods aisle for \"Texas Toast\". Takes 5 mins. in the oven. You can do it about the same time you start the noodles.

As for laundry, just separate whites/light colors from darks. Wash on cold. Safest way to do it.lol
 
MPJ

MPJ

New member
Originally posted by Zora
1 - frozen lasagna. VERY easy.
Click to expand...

Ahh, that explains why the wife bought 3 frozen lasagna\'s last shopping trip. I thought that was an abnormally high number. :drunk:

Oh, and just got back from the visit, she\'s soar and really hungry (typical for her, 60 min after delivering our middle kid by emergency c-section I was running to McDonald\'s to get her a couple hamburgers).
 
Sand Rat

Sand Rat

New member
Put the older kids to work.

Keeps em busy, and you dont have to do the housework.

Says the guy 8k from home. lol
 
K

Kester

New member
No No No!!! Never prove that you are able to do chores, that way lies the path of having to do them again. Always act a little dumber than you are!
 
airhead

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
the safe way is to screw it up. Let the lasonia bubble over and make a mess of the oven. You will get banned from the kitchen - which is not really a bad thing.

Throw a red towel in with the whites. You may have to wear pink underwear for a week, but you will also be banned from useing that machine as well. Again, not really a bad thing.
lol
 
MPJ

MPJ

New member
Originally posted by Kester
No No No!!! Never prove that you are able to do chores, that way lies the path of having to do them again. Always act a little dumber than you are!
Click to expand...

That has been a lifelong philosophy of mine actually. Kinda sucks now that I sorta have to perform, I must just somehow manage to not over perform.

Someone mentioned buying a certain cookbook... Funny that because while making myself an omelette this morning I thought of writing a cookbook myself for men in my situation (yes, I know it\'s been done before) while dicing up some red peppers and saving the extra for dinner tonight.

Now that I\'m unemployed (just got the news yesterday by phone) I could get to work at it. :drunk:
 
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