vincegamer
Active member
Obviously you need to watch more Star Trek TOS and MacGiver.
wanna be a super villain?
- Thread starter vincegamer
- Start date
vincegamer
Active member
More lessons in super villainy
Chapter 1 - Henchmen
\"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man\" - Jack Handey
Your first task is to assemble an entourage of brainless thugs. Thugs will be a major part of your plans, as you don\'t want to be tackling any heroes first off. You will need some excessive drawn-out violence to soften them up first. Wave after wave of expendable, drivelling idiots are obviously critical to this. Finding buffoons of a low enough calibre is always a problem, but if you follow the tried and tested checklist below, you can\'t go wrong.
Things to remember when picking your henchmen:
Intelligence
First you will need to give them an IQ test. If they score any higher than 60, ditch them. If your henchmen have a mental capacity greater than a squirrel, they may realise that the odds are stacked against them when faced with a man who has just killed 30 other henchmen with his bare hands, and turn on you.
Moral status
It is vitally important that your thugs have no moral status whatsoever. Test this by running over a small furry animal in front of them. If they react, they\'re out. If faced with a tough dilemma, these thugs may have the audacity to help the under-dog or save the kid. This is clearly unacceptable.
Attraction
It\'s important to make sure that your henchmen are castrated as soon as they are initiated. If they fall for the girl, you\'ll be in a whole heap of trouble. If they don\'t have to think about sex, their mind will be on violence, 100%. Because they have had their testicles removed, their testosterone levels will drop. Inject them regularly to avoid disappointment.
Love of mindless violence with no regard for personal safety
Henchmen need to be able to react to any situation. With violence. This is good for two reasons:
1. Thugs should always resort to killing the person who is mucking about with your plans.
2. In a heated melee, you should be able to escape un-scathed, leaving your henchmen to fight on regardless. If they are obsessed with their own safety, they\'ll be running too, leaving nobody to distract your attacker.
Lack of imagination
If your henchmen have imagination, they may try to think for themselves instead of following your orders. You do not pay these people to think. You are the evil genius, so you do all the thinking. Ask them what they think it would be like to fall off a cliff and hit nasty rocks. If they can\'t come up with an answer, they\'re in. (You will also know that they won\'t be afraid to fight around dangerous machinery, shark infested waters etc, as they are too stupid to imagine danger…)
Counting
It\'s imprtant for your business that henchmen cannot count for two reasons:
1. Large numbers of armed guards should not intimidate your brutish entourage. If they don\'t know the odds, they won\'t care.
2. You can pay them less.
Wild fire
All thugs need the ability to spread hundreds of bullets in all directions. With their level of intelligence, you wouldn\'t expect them to be able to hit a dead elephant at point-blank range. (If they can shoot straight, and have passed the other tests, they are a rare find indeed.) For this reason, you need to make sure that they can hold down the trigger of a machine gun until they run out of bullets. Extra ammo isn\'t usually a problem, as they would either have been killed, or killed the enemy after the first salvo. Experiment with sticky tape behind the trigger, or pick thugs with arthritis in their fingers. The next thing to remember is that they will need to produce stupidly wide arcs of fire. Make them practise this random flailing on a plastic sheet smeared with butter.
The ability to drive badly
All henchmen need this skill in order to drive madly through a town square attracting the attention of police cars. Once they have crashed and exploded, the hero may be caught and slowed down by random policemen.
The boss is always right
If your henchmen ever question your insane logic, or even your apparently senseless outbursts, you should kill them straight away. That way, you\'ll always be able to gloat, laugh, scream or kill without ridiculous enquiries. NB: Questions detract from wide-eyed guffawing, don\'t let it happen!
Appreciation
Remember that your henchmen need your love and appreciation, or they will not feel valued as an employee. You can show your appreciation by not beating them every day.
You can let them pull the secret lever once in a while. Exactly what effect this will have will differ depending on your super-secret base of operations.
The last thing that you can do to show your appreciation of good thuggery is to promote a henchmen to the status of evil assistant. You should kill this person for failure every now and again so that your other employees get a chance to progress. The \"dead man\'s shoes\" ethos is very appropriate here.
Chapter 2 - Evil lair - part A
Your evil lair is very important. If you are merely squatting in a back alley, you will not be very credible as an evil genius. You need to have an impenetrable lair of doom. Your enemies need to be filled with a certain level of angst before entering. Take Dracula for example. No hero ever entered his castle thinking it would be as simple as stake-and-go. In order to make it as inhospitable as possible, follow these simple guidelines:
Location
Pick the location of your staging grounds with care. If you set up in the middle of town, you may find that you get untimely visits from health inspectors, or occasionally from the RSPCA if you are working on genetically enhanced animals. A barren wasteland, a hidden nuclear bunker, or an abandoned castle on a rock in an obscure European location, are ideal. NB on castles: Avoid properties owned by the English Heritage. Guided tours are a nuisance.
Lighting
Lighting is important. Your guests or invaders need to be walking into a foreboding environment. You can achieve this with dribbly candles and wall torches. Alternatively, you can confuse them horribly with disco lighting, strobe effects and smoke machines. Which ever you choose, make sure that you apply some thought, your unwitting victims will appreciate it.
Traps
Traps are crucially important. A devious super-villain will always have need for traps. Your traps will also need to come in layers for maximum effect.
Layer 1 needs to be reasonably challenging. Giant rolling balls, poison darts fired from the walls and falling weights are important parts of this layer. They will weed out the chaff and save you from having to re-arm the particularly fiendish traps.
Layer 2 traps need to be ridiculously easy to work around. They will constitute mantraps, slippery floors, lots of winding staircases and pools of rather hot oil. These traps are merely there to give the clever heroes a false sense of security and leave them un-prepared for the next level.
Layer 3 is the epitome of intellectual deviousness. Huge spinning blades of death. Lots of them. Exploding pigs and laser guided halibut flying from the walls. These are the pearls of irrefutable insanity. More fiendish than a fiendish thing in the middle of fiendish season, your level three traps should be clever and random enough to wipe out an army of Oxford graduates.
NB: Don\'t waste your expendable thugs on testing traps. They usually can\'t work out how to use the toilet without peeing on their own shoes, let alone work out elaborate traps…
Chapter 2 - Evil lair - part B
Elaborate execution area
This is the crowning glory for any evil super-villain. Painfully slow moving lasers and tanks full of sharks are a favourite. Be as inventive as possible with your execution area. You will want to savour the moment as you laugh maniacally in front of the world summit after killing their best agent. It is usually a good idea to install a lever or big red button that activates a nasty device such as a falling weight. That way, you can let your henchmen take it in turns to execute people.
Pointless untidy looking barrels
These are not the most obvious of furnishings, but are as important as the badly strung chandelier. You can fill these barrels with all manner of chemical death. Highly flammable chemicals are a favourite, as are oozing nuclear waste. They have two functions.
1 They provide obvious cover for budding spies and soldiers hell-bent on stopping you. They will realise all too late, with the random spray of bullets from your brainless thugs, that barrels are the last place to hide.
2 They look nice at dinner parties when covered with a frilly tablecloth. (You must be cultured as well as having an insatiable lust for power and destruction….)
Hidden escape facility
This speaks for itself. Without a hidden escape facility, you may as well give yourself up to the UN peacekeepers straight away. You could use a jet propelled escape pod, a large trampoline and parachute, or even a particularly fast dolphin if you\'ve chosen an underwater base.
Weapon store
Weapons! Lots of them. Find the biggest baddest weapons you can get and make sure that every henchman has the keys to the store. Flame throwers are a must, but the real cherry on the cake is a chain fed machine gun mounted on the back of a JCB, or alternatively a bear.
Ominous hidden orchestra
This adds real character to your lair. The invaders who try to take your base will not only have to deal with henchmen and traps, but the incessant hum of a cello and the odd sporadic burst of violins in an ear piercing crescendo as a thug turns the corner firing wildly. NB: make sure that your thugs are equipped with earmuffs. This has the added bonus of making any would-be hero laugh instead of fire.
Insignia
An evil emblem is great when it comes to tying all of your efforts together. This is most important to your base of operations. Without the evil insignia, other super-villains could rip-off your ideas. I have found that it\'s often a good idea to patent some of your more fiendish traps. You can leave your emblem at random intervals, so that everyone knows the carnage was instigated by you. It\'s the little touches that count.
Chapter 1 - Henchmen
\"It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man\" - Jack Handey
Your first task is to assemble an entourage of brainless thugs. Thugs will be a major part of your plans, as you don\'t want to be tackling any heroes first off. You will need some excessive drawn-out violence to soften them up first. Wave after wave of expendable, drivelling idiots are obviously critical to this. Finding buffoons of a low enough calibre is always a problem, but if you follow the tried and tested checklist below, you can\'t go wrong.
Things to remember when picking your henchmen:
Intelligence
First you will need to give them an IQ test. If they score any higher than 60, ditch them. If your henchmen have a mental capacity greater than a squirrel, they may realise that the odds are stacked against them when faced with a man who has just killed 30 other henchmen with his bare hands, and turn on you.
Moral status
It is vitally important that your thugs have no moral status whatsoever. Test this by running over a small furry animal in front of them. If they react, they\'re out. If faced with a tough dilemma, these thugs may have the audacity to help the under-dog or save the kid. This is clearly unacceptable.
Attraction
It\'s important to make sure that your henchmen are castrated as soon as they are initiated. If they fall for the girl, you\'ll be in a whole heap of trouble. If they don\'t have to think about sex, their mind will be on violence, 100%. Because they have had their testicles removed, their testosterone levels will drop. Inject them regularly to avoid disappointment.
Love of mindless violence with no regard for personal safety
Henchmen need to be able to react to any situation. With violence. This is good for two reasons:
1. Thugs should always resort to killing the person who is mucking about with your plans.
2. In a heated melee, you should be able to escape un-scathed, leaving your henchmen to fight on regardless. If they are obsessed with their own safety, they\'ll be running too, leaving nobody to distract your attacker.
Lack of imagination
If your henchmen have imagination, they may try to think for themselves instead of following your orders. You do not pay these people to think. You are the evil genius, so you do all the thinking. Ask them what they think it would be like to fall off a cliff and hit nasty rocks. If they can\'t come up with an answer, they\'re in. (You will also know that they won\'t be afraid to fight around dangerous machinery, shark infested waters etc, as they are too stupid to imagine danger…)
Counting
It\'s imprtant for your business that henchmen cannot count for two reasons:
1. Large numbers of armed guards should not intimidate your brutish entourage. If they don\'t know the odds, they won\'t care.
2. You can pay them less.
Wild fire
All thugs need the ability to spread hundreds of bullets in all directions. With their level of intelligence, you wouldn\'t expect them to be able to hit a dead elephant at point-blank range. (If they can shoot straight, and have passed the other tests, they are a rare find indeed.) For this reason, you need to make sure that they can hold down the trigger of a machine gun until they run out of bullets. Extra ammo isn\'t usually a problem, as they would either have been killed, or killed the enemy after the first salvo. Experiment with sticky tape behind the trigger, or pick thugs with arthritis in their fingers. The next thing to remember is that they will need to produce stupidly wide arcs of fire. Make them practise this random flailing on a plastic sheet smeared with butter.
The ability to drive badly
All henchmen need this skill in order to drive madly through a town square attracting the attention of police cars. Once they have crashed and exploded, the hero may be caught and slowed down by random policemen.
The boss is always right
If your henchmen ever question your insane logic, or even your apparently senseless outbursts, you should kill them straight away. That way, you\'ll always be able to gloat, laugh, scream or kill without ridiculous enquiries. NB: Questions detract from wide-eyed guffawing, don\'t let it happen!
Appreciation
Remember that your henchmen need your love and appreciation, or they will not feel valued as an employee. You can show your appreciation by not beating them every day.
You can let them pull the secret lever once in a while. Exactly what effect this will have will differ depending on your super-secret base of operations.
The last thing that you can do to show your appreciation of good thuggery is to promote a henchmen to the status of evil assistant. You should kill this person for failure every now and again so that your other employees get a chance to progress. The \"dead man\'s shoes\" ethos is very appropriate here.
Chapter 2 - Evil lair - part A
Your evil lair is very important. If you are merely squatting in a back alley, you will not be very credible as an evil genius. You need to have an impenetrable lair of doom. Your enemies need to be filled with a certain level of angst before entering. Take Dracula for example. No hero ever entered his castle thinking it would be as simple as stake-and-go. In order to make it as inhospitable as possible, follow these simple guidelines:
Location
Pick the location of your staging grounds with care. If you set up in the middle of town, you may find that you get untimely visits from health inspectors, or occasionally from the RSPCA if you are working on genetically enhanced animals. A barren wasteland, a hidden nuclear bunker, or an abandoned castle on a rock in an obscure European location, are ideal. NB on castles: Avoid properties owned by the English Heritage. Guided tours are a nuisance.
Lighting
Lighting is important. Your guests or invaders need to be walking into a foreboding environment. You can achieve this with dribbly candles and wall torches. Alternatively, you can confuse them horribly with disco lighting, strobe effects and smoke machines. Which ever you choose, make sure that you apply some thought, your unwitting victims will appreciate it.
Traps
Traps are crucially important. A devious super-villain will always have need for traps. Your traps will also need to come in layers for maximum effect.
Layer 1 needs to be reasonably challenging. Giant rolling balls, poison darts fired from the walls and falling weights are important parts of this layer. They will weed out the chaff and save you from having to re-arm the particularly fiendish traps.
Layer 2 traps need to be ridiculously easy to work around. They will constitute mantraps, slippery floors, lots of winding staircases and pools of rather hot oil. These traps are merely there to give the clever heroes a false sense of security and leave them un-prepared for the next level.
Layer 3 is the epitome of intellectual deviousness. Huge spinning blades of death. Lots of them. Exploding pigs and laser guided halibut flying from the walls. These are the pearls of irrefutable insanity. More fiendish than a fiendish thing in the middle of fiendish season, your level three traps should be clever and random enough to wipe out an army of Oxford graduates.
NB: Don\'t waste your expendable thugs on testing traps. They usually can\'t work out how to use the toilet without peeing on their own shoes, let alone work out elaborate traps…
Chapter 2 - Evil lair - part B
Elaborate execution area
This is the crowning glory for any evil super-villain. Painfully slow moving lasers and tanks full of sharks are a favourite. Be as inventive as possible with your execution area. You will want to savour the moment as you laugh maniacally in front of the world summit after killing their best agent. It is usually a good idea to install a lever or big red button that activates a nasty device such as a falling weight. That way, you can let your henchmen take it in turns to execute people.
Pointless untidy looking barrels
These are not the most obvious of furnishings, but are as important as the badly strung chandelier. You can fill these barrels with all manner of chemical death. Highly flammable chemicals are a favourite, as are oozing nuclear waste. They have two functions.
1 They provide obvious cover for budding spies and soldiers hell-bent on stopping you. They will realise all too late, with the random spray of bullets from your brainless thugs, that barrels are the last place to hide.
2 They look nice at dinner parties when covered with a frilly tablecloth. (You must be cultured as well as having an insatiable lust for power and destruction….)
Hidden escape facility
This speaks for itself. Without a hidden escape facility, you may as well give yourself up to the UN peacekeepers straight away. You could use a jet propelled escape pod, a large trampoline and parachute, or even a particularly fast dolphin if you\'ve chosen an underwater base.
Weapon store
Weapons! Lots of them. Find the biggest baddest weapons you can get and make sure that every henchman has the keys to the store. Flame throwers are a must, but the real cherry on the cake is a chain fed machine gun mounted on the back of a JCB, or alternatively a bear.
Ominous hidden orchestra
This adds real character to your lair. The invaders who try to take your base will not only have to deal with henchmen and traps, but the incessant hum of a cello and the odd sporadic burst of violins in an ear piercing crescendo as a thug turns the corner firing wildly. NB: make sure that your thugs are equipped with earmuffs. This has the added bonus of making any would-be hero laugh instead of fire.
Insignia
An evil emblem is great when it comes to tying all of your efforts together. This is most important to your base of operations. Without the evil insignia, other super-villains could rip-off your ideas. I have found that it\'s often a good idea to patent some of your more fiendish traps. You can leave your emblem at random intervals, so that everyone knows the carnage was instigated by you. It\'s the little touches that count.
Torn blue sky
New member
This is right out of the Manual! I know the chap who wrote it...nice fellow (When he\'s not trying to usurp me!!!) . Throws a good dinner party, but the turkey does have a slightly glowing pallor...
My best man stomped on the Hampster before I could run over it! Good man...
I call him \"Stompy\", he has 3 high level kills thanks to my feindish red lever.
Most people fall for the \"Don\'t push this buton, nu-uh, under no circumstances\" Trap, unfortunately most of them are the aforementioned labotomised henchmen...
NB; Needs refinement, possible Kiddy guard...
My best man stomped on the Hampster before I could run over it! Good man...
I call him \"Stompy\", he has 3 high level kills thanks to my feindish red lever.
Most people fall for the \"Don\'t push this buton, nu-uh, under no circumstances\" Trap, unfortunately most of them are the aforementioned labotomised henchmen...
NB; Needs refinement, possible Kiddy guard...
According to the quiz, I\'m a Sadistic Boogieman:
Torture, terror and chaos, all the tools you love to use. Yours is the most random and confusing type of villainy, and few seem to understand your rhyme and reason. Often a bit of a lone wolf, few are willing to work with you for long, and then they generally try to keep you on a short leash (though it does not often work). Sometimes you end up serving others as a henchman, but that rarely lasts for long and usually ends badly. You kill and terrorize for the mere pleasure of doing so, and generally you do not have a true interest in power or leadership. For you this is all fun and games, not a job (though on occasion it can pay quite nicely). The world will never love or understand you, and you prefer it that way. Of all the villainy out there, yours is generally the darkest and the one that scares people the most, because very rarely does it make sense. Insane rampaging tends to be your specialty. Famous Comic Book Sadistic Boogiemen include The Joker, Venom, Omega Red and Stryke.
12% got this one.
Torture, terror and chaos, all the tools you love to use. Yours is the most random and confusing type of villainy, and few seem to understand your rhyme and reason. Often a bit of a lone wolf, few are willing to work with you for long, and then they generally try to keep you on a short leash (though it does not often work). Sometimes you end up serving others as a henchman, but that rarely lasts for long and usually ends badly. You kill and terrorize for the mere pleasure of doing so, and generally you do not have a true interest in power or leadership. For you this is all fun and games, not a job (though on occasion it can pay quite nicely). The world will never love or understand you, and you prefer it that way. Of all the villainy out there, yours is generally the darkest and the one that scares people the most, because very rarely does it make sense. Insane rampaging tends to be your specialty. Famous Comic Book Sadistic Boogiemen include The Joker, Venom, Omega Red and Stryke.
12% got this one.
Torn blue sky
New member
lol You need therapy...cool.
I\'m scheduled for next week, feel free to sit in
I\'m scheduled for next week, feel free to sit in
No Such Agency
New member
You know you\'re a child of the 80\'s when you think \"Hmm, Hinton is Starscream\"...
First GI Joe and now Transformers?
Must... control... inner... nerd.... ARRRGHHHHHhhh!
The Baroness, revisted
sorry about the size, and one crazy bastitch that actually got a tattoo
and for you evil-doer wannabes, a Dr Evil Soundboard!
Must... control... inner... nerd.... ARRRGHHHHHhhh!
The Baroness, revisted
sorry about the size, and one crazy bastitch that actually got a tattoo
and for you evil-doer wannabes, a Dr Evil Soundboard!
vincegamer
Active member
Final Lesson in Super-Villainy
You thought I was done, didn\'t you....
Doom: Ah ! A Renoir ! I had three of these but ordered one destroyed.
Stark: In heaven\'s name why ?
Doom: (turns around with a disapproving look) It displeased me !
Doom: \"No, madman! Whatever you may see there -- it is not fear! Fear is for lesser men . . . Never for Doom!\"
Chapter 3 - Costumes
This section is important for one reason. You\'ll look cool.
Boiler suits
All self-respecting super villains should kit-out their henchmen with matching boiler suits. This helps to identify them as your lackeys and means that there is less chance of them shooting each other in a firefight. A small evil insignia should be added to each boiler suit.
Lycra jump suit
Nothing will show how truly deranged you are, more than a Lycra jump suit. The all-in-one stretchyness is suitable for all occasions (Apart from maybe dinner parties.). You will feel superior to your underlings and they will envy your costume, as their boiler suits are so itchy. Remember to add a more detailed version of your evil insignia to the chest of your costume.
Pets
Pets are add-ons for a super villain\'s costume. White cats have come and gone. Be imaginative, keep an alligator on your lap, or possibly even a flying piranha.
Ironing
Make sure that all of your henchmen have access to an iron. Just because your employees are as thick as custard, it doesn\'t mean that they can\'t look tidy. If they turn up to work creased, kill them immediately. Press upon them that \"crumples = death\".
Chapter 4 - Your name
Your name should be catchy as well as unforgettable. Most super villains go for names starting with \"doctor\", or \"general\". You need to show that you have a certain level of professional status. If you are merely \"Mr. Johnson\", nobody will take you seriously. However, when you change the above name to \"Lord Marshall Johnson of the doom legion\", it instantly sounds more appealing. Think carefully about your name, as it also needs to fit in with your evil characteristics, such as incessant laughter etc…
Chapter 5 - Memorable catch phrase
Make sure that you have a memorable catch phrase so that you will be remembered by all as a witty and impressive speaker. Lines such as \"See you later guys\" do not cut the mustard. \"Die horribly, you puke-ridden retards!\" is more fitting phrase. It shows just enough madness, but at the same time implies that you still have a loose grip on reality.
Chapter 6 - The plan
Your evil plan is the lynchpin. Without an evil plan, you are nothing. Richard Branson didn\'t build Virgin without a plan after all! Evil plans need to be devious and complicated. To get you started with your first evil plan, follow the steps below.
Step 1 - Build or steal a weapon or device that you can use to threaten people. This could be as simple as a nuclear bomb, or as complex as an inter-dimensional warp gate that releases mutant chickens into the world.
Step 2 - Make sure that you are well known. Cause some trouble now and again, so that your threats of mass destruction are not be sniffed at by the global community. Occasionally release your thugs for a bit of mindless violence, or blow something up with a large orbital satellite. These events will keep you in the limelight and may get your face onto Time magazine!
Step 3 - Threaten the world with your super device. If they don\'t respond to your demands, destroy a city. If they still don\'t bow down to you, destroy the planet. It\'s that simple.
Final thought:
So, there you are. With these simple, but effective techniques, you\'ll have the world in the palm of your sadistic hand before you know it!
You thought I was done, didn\'t you....
Doom: Ah ! A Renoir ! I had three of these but ordered one destroyed.
Stark: In heaven\'s name why ?
Doom: (turns around with a disapproving look) It displeased me !
Doom: \"No, madman! Whatever you may see there -- it is not fear! Fear is for lesser men . . . Never for Doom!\"
Chapter 3 - Costumes
This section is important for one reason. You\'ll look cool.
Boiler suits
All self-respecting super villains should kit-out their henchmen with matching boiler suits. This helps to identify them as your lackeys and means that there is less chance of them shooting each other in a firefight. A small evil insignia should be added to each boiler suit.
Lycra jump suit
Nothing will show how truly deranged you are, more than a Lycra jump suit. The all-in-one stretchyness is suitable for all occasions (Apart from maybe dinner parties.). You will feel superior to your underlings and they will envy your costume, as their boiler suits are so itchy. Remember to add a more detailed version of your evil insignia to the chest of your costume.
Pets
Pets are add-ons for a super villain\'s costume. White cats have come and gone. Be imaginative, keep an alligator on your lap, or possibly even a flying piranha.
Ironing
Make sure that all of your henchmen have access to an iron. Just because your employees are as thick as custard, it doesn\'t mean that they can\'t look tidy. If they turn up to work creased, kill them immediately. Press upon them that \"crumples = death\".
Chapter 4 - Your name
Your name should be catchy as well as unforgettable. Most super villains go for names starting with \"doctor\", or \"general\". You need to show that you have a certain level of professional status. If you are merely \"Mr. Johnson\", nobody will take you seriously. However, when you change the above name to \"Lord Marshall Johnson of the doom legion\", it instantly sounds more appealing. Think carefully about your name, as it also needs to fit in with your evil characteristics, such as incessant laughter etc…
Chapter 5 - Memorable catch phrase
Make sure that you have a memorable catch phrase so that you will be remembered by all as a witty and impressive speaker. Lines such as \"See you later guys\" do not cut the mustard. \"Die horribly, you puke-ridden retards!\" is more fitting phrase. It shows just enough madness, but at the same time implies that you still have a loose grip on reality.
Chapter 6 - The plan
Your evil plan is the lynchpin. Without an evil plan, you are nothing. Richard Branson didn\'t build Virgin without a plan after all! Evil plans need to be devious and complicated. To get you started with your first evil plan, follow the steps below.
Step 1 - Build or steal a weapon or device that you can use to threaten people. This could be as simple as a nuclear bomb, or as complex as an inter-dimensional warp gate that releases mutant chickens into the world.
Step 2 - Make sure that you are well known. Cause some trouble now and again, so that your threats of mass destruction are not be sniffed at by the global community. Occasionally release your thugs for a bit of mindless violence, or blow something up with a large orbital satellite. These events will keep you in the limelight and may get your face onto Time magazine!
Step 3 - Threaten the world with your super device. If they don\'t respond to your demands, destroy a city. If they still don\'t bow down to you, destroy the planet. It\'s that simple.
Final thought:
So, there you are. With these simple, but effective techniques, you\'ll have the world in the palm of your sadistic hand before you know it!
