What the h*ll should I do?
- Thread starter Ghaffasa
- Start date
cyberakuma
New member
1st throw out those romantic comedies even the ones socially acceptable for straight men to own (chasing amy, high fidelity, zack and miri make a porno) they are great for taking a girl to in the CINEMA to get laid but owning them will not help your case they are more likely to see you as a hopeless romantic that can\'t move on like all the characters in these films
or that you have shit taste in films and/or are possibly a closeted homosexual this may lead her to start looking for musical (if you don\'t wish to throw out your dvds maybe buy some musicals so she sees you as the gay \"coming out\" friend, be warned this can on very rare occasions make a girl attracted to you but its highly unlikely she is more likely to set you up with a gay friend)
2 get the pair of you liqoured up lets face it there is no reason fore the pair of you not to get liqoured up and her inhibitions will lower and well you never know you may not get a relationship with her this way but it may end up as a one night stand (or if you are good in bed and play your cards right friends with benefits if this happens do not get clingy and kill your emotions or it\'ll crush you when you see her with someone else)
3 invite her friends back to your place this is an interesting technique as it can be seen as you just inviting them to hang out but lets face it girls talk and if she really wants nothing to do with you and her mate suddenly shows an interest in you and starts asking about you since you invited her round then she will be more inclined to big you up (especially if you had the one night stand and were good)
4 get over it seriously easiest option you don\'t have to be an ass you don\'t have to leave or drive her away or even make a big deal about it i know you had feelings for her but she didn\'t for you (i know harsh but had to be said) we\'ve all been there or will be at some point and it hurts like hell but your not helping anyone if you can\'t get over it
do what ever it takes get drunk, smoke weed, eat ice cream and watch bridget jones (then possibly gauge your eyes out in horror) sleep with someone else, take random girls home with you (even if you have to lower your standards....trust me you might enjoy that girl with the glass eye she might just open your eyes to new things or just pop hers out and let you....anyway back to the point) or make sure you two aren\'t alone by inviting friends around yours and/or hers
5 be a pussy and leave or be an ass and drive her out (more prefferable if its a nice flat and/or you have a lot of shit to move if you were to leave
this by far is the most cowardly option it won\'t make you feel better you will still pine for her and it\'ll ruin what was left of your friendship and any chance of sleeping with her friends
6 confess to her that you are actually bill gates secret love child and have several billion stashed away and will give her a million just to have a dirty weekend with her if she says yes (student loans are a bitch and she could be tempted if drunk or stoned enough to believe you) fuck her brains out and then leave the flat before the shit hits the fan and she sobers up and realises you aren\'t rich and won\'t be moving her to financial stability but instead have made her feel like a cheap whore who just got swindled this option may result in her feeling so bad about herself and what she did that it may result in her going to therapy or if she is already relatively unhinged it may result in her attempting suicide so make sure you have the stones to deal with that before pursuing that option
7 pay someone else to do number 6 to her if you haven\'t got the stones to do it yourself or do anything else to get her to leave (especially if you have a nice apartment and/or too much shit to move)
final option if you really can\'t do any of the above then you will need a few things
shovel
quicklime
access to an incinerator
pressure grip pliers
a saw
and a sharp cutting implement
luckily most of these items can be found in any good hobby store and lucky for you you can pass off the purchase of such items as purely hobby related
um if you hadn\'t guessed it the final option is kill her and dispose of the body don\'t forget to remover hands feet and head to go in the incinerator also you need to get rid of any other identifying marks ; teeth, birth marks, tattoos, scars, breast implants (yup you need to be careful of these each set carries a unique serial number )
once all that is taken care off hack the body up into smaller pieces for easier transport and go out and dig a hole and bury her making sure you cover the body parts in quicklime to advance the decomposition process
good luck which ever option you take it will mold you into the man* you will one day become
*prison bitch to a guy named bubba is still technically a man just not a very good one
or that you have shit taste in films and/or are possibly a closeted homosexual this may lead her to start looking for musical (if you don\'t wish to throw out your dvds maybe buy some musicals so she sees you as the gay \"coming out\" friend, be warned this can on very rare occasions make a girl attracted to you but its highly unlikely she is more likely to set you up with a gay friend)
2 get the pair of you liqoured up lets face it there is no reason fore the pair of you not to get liqoured up and her inhibitions will lower and well you never know you may not get a relationship with her this way but it may end up as a one night stand (or if you are good in bed and play your cards right friends with benefits if this happens do not get clingy and kill your emotions or it\'ll crush you when you see her with someone else)
3 invite her friends back to your place this is an interesting technique as it can be seen as you just inviting them to hang out but lets face it girls talk and if she really wants nothing to do with you and her mate suddenly shows an interest in you and starts asking about you since you invited her round then she will be more inclined to big you up (especially if you had the one night stand and were good)
4 get over it seriously easiest option you don\'t have to be an ass you don\'t have to leave or drive her away or even make a big deal about it i know you had feelings for her but she didn\'t for you (i know harsh but had to be said) we\'ve all been there or will be at some point and it hurts like hell but your not helping anyone if you can\'t get over it
do what ever it takes get drunk, smoke weed, eat ice cream and watch bridget jones (then possibly gauge your eyes out in horror) sleep with someone else, take random girls home with you (even if you have to lower your standards....trust me you might enjoy that girl with the glass eye she might just open your eyes to new things or just pop hers out and let you....anyway back to the point) or make sure you two aren\'t alone by inviting friends around yours and/or hers
5 be a pussy and leave or be an ass and drive her out (more prefferable if its a nice flat and/or you have a lot of shit to move if you were to leave
this by far is the most cowardly option it won\'t make you feel better you will still pine for her and it\'ll ruin what was left of your friendship and any chance of sleeping with her friends
6 confess to her that you are actually bill gates secret love child and have several billion stashed away and will give her a million just to have a dirty weekend with her if she says yes (student loans are a bitch and she could be tempted if drunk or stoned enough to believe you) fuck her brains out and then leave the flat before the shit hits the fan and she sobers up and realises you aren\'t rich and won\'t be moving her to financial stability but instead have made her feel like a cheap whore who just got swindled this option may result in her feeling so bad about herself and what she did that it may result in her going to therapy or if she is already relatively unhinged it may result in her attempting suicide so make sure you have the stones to deal with that before pursuing that option
7 pay someone else to do number 6 to her if you haven\'t got the stones to do it yourself or do anything else to get her to leave (especially if you have a nice apartment and/or too much shit to move)
final option if you really can\'t do any of the above then you will need a few things
shovel
quicklime
access to an incinerator
pressure grip pliers
a saw
and a sharp cutting implement
luckily most of these items can be found in any good hobby store and lucky for you you can pass off the purchase of such items as purely hobby related
um if you hadn\'t guessed it the final option is kill her and dispose of the body don\'t forget to remover hands feet and head to go in the incinerator also you need to get rid of any other identifying marks ; teeth, birth marks, tattoos, scars, breast implants (yup you need to be careful of these each set carries a unique serial number )
once all that is taken care off hack the body up into smaller pieces for easier transport and go out and dig a hole and bury her making sure you cover the body parts in quicklime to advance the decomposition process
good luck which ever option you take it will mold you into the man* you will one day become
*prison bitch to a guy named bubba is still technically a man just not a very good one
Wow, that was enough advice to fill a book cyberakuma 
Thanks!
The situation has however changed..
I cleaned the air the other day by talking to her about my intentions to get over her and remain nothing but friends. She was with me on this.
However, instead of returning to the way she used to be, she has become extremely intimate and \"cuddly\". Many times I feel we are way beyond the friend zone.
I am very confused. Logic dictates that she wouldn\'t try to challenge me like this, being aware of my feelings.
Why don\'t women come with a manual? :no:
Thanks!The situation has however changed..
I cleaned the air the other day by talking to her about my intentions to get over her and remain nothing but friends. She was with me on this.
However, instead of returning to the way she used to be, she has become extremely intimate and \"cuddly\". Many times I feel we are way beyond the friend zone.
I am very confused. Logic dictates that she wouldn\'t try to challenge me like this, being aware of my feelings.
Why don\'t women come with a manual? :no:
Wow, so I\'m not the only one who has been shot down and then faced with the whole cuddly/intimate thing! So incredibly confusing...
Anyway in my case, the \"mixed signals\" got to the point of flat-out lies. One day she says she\'s seriously considered dating me on numerous occasions, and the next day it\'s never even crossed her mind. Eventually she said my willingness to accept the complications of the cuddly behavior was evidence of some kind of \"friends with benefits\" play that I was trying to pull and that I was an asshole, or something to that effect. I hope you aren\'t faced with the same B.S. because I ended up losing my best friend over the whole thing.
I kinda regret how the last few months of that friendship played out, but at the same time I don\'t really see how I could do things any differently. I simply couldn\'t take being jerked around like that any more. My advice to you would be to wait a couple of days, and if the funny behavior persists then politely ask her about it. Something along the lines of \"Just wanted to make sure we\'re on the same page, here...\" and not anything big and confrontational because that has a tendency to make things ugly in a hurry.
So yeah try to keep the lanes of communication open, and hopefully things all work out. The longer the awkwardness continues the harder it will be to resolve. And remember, nobody has bad luck with girls like me so you can always feel good knowing I\'m worse off than you are lol
Anyway in my case, the \"mixed signals\" got to the point of flat-out lies. One day she says she\'s seriously considered dating me on numerous occasions, and the next day it\'s never even crossed her mind. Eventually she said my willingness to accept the complications of the cuddly behavior was evidence of some kind of \"friends with benefits\" play that I was trying to pull and that I was an asshole, or something to that effect. I hope you aren\'t faced with the same B.S. because I ended up losing my best friend over the whole thing.
I kinda regret how the last few months of that friendship played out, but at the same time I don\'t really see how I could do things any differently. I simply couldn\'t take being jerked around like that any more. My advice to you would be to wait a couple of days, and if the funny behavior persists then politely ask her about it. Something along the lines of \"Just wanted to make sure we\'re on the same page, here...\" and not anything big and confrontational because that has a tendency to make things ugly in a hurry.
So yeah try to keep the lanes of communication open, and hopefully things all work out. The longer the awkwardness continues the harder it will be to resolve. And remember, nobody has bad luck with girls like me so you can always feel good knowing I\'m worse off than you are lol
evil tendencies
Cake or Death?
I\'d be surprised if she knew, honestly.
The first real date my wife and I went on, I got a lecture about how she didn\'t want a boyfriend. A fifteen minute lecture. I thought I was hosed. Four days later she called me to go swing dancing.
The way she explained it, sometimes it takes them a while to actually put their feelings with their heads and then make it make sense to us guys. But it can work out if you\'re patient.
Patient and honest, that is. You might think honestly isn\'t fun, but you can\'t build a friendship or romance on silence or lies and not get hurt.
The first real date my wife and I went on, I got a lecture about how she didn\'t want a boyfriend. A fifteen minute lecture. I thought I was hosed. Four days later she called me to go swing dancing.
The way she explained it, sometimes it takes them a while to actually put their feelings with their heads and then make it make sense to us guys. But it can work out if you\'re patient.
Patient and honest, that is. You might think honestly isn\'t fun, but you can\'t build a friendship or romance on silence or lies and not get hurt.
lizcam
New member
A girl POV warning......We women like to \"hedge our bets\". This is one of the things I can\'t stand about women in general (I sound like such a guy right now).
Women like to know that they have someone to \"fall back on\". They will keep old boyfriends and ex\'s around as \"friends\" just to feel safe. This might be what\'s going on here. Give it some time but keep an eye out. If things don\'t progress to a higher level she may be stringing you along. Not worth the effort.
Women like to know that they have someone to \"fall back on\". They will keep old boyfriends and ex\'s around as \"friends\" just to feel safe. This might be what\'s going on here. Give it some time but keep an eye out. If things don\'t progress to a higher level she may be stringing you along. Not worth the effort.
War Griffon
New member
Because its immpossible to write one on a woman.
As soon as you get to the stage where you think you know what they want or are going to do they change their minds again.
Its like arguements, women always have to have the last word anything said after that is the start of another arguement.
Don\'t try to understand them just play nice and go with the flow but watch out for the bunny boilers.
Torn blue sky
New member
G\'day!
I have to agree with liz actuallly. I had an ex that got txts from ex\'s constantly telling her how much they wanted to be with her , etc. I\'m not the jealous type, or maybe i\'m too trusting. Either way, it was a constant, till....surprise, she flipped and went back to an ex.
In this instance i\'d be a bit suspicious. Could be that she really is warming to the fact. Could be she\'s keeping you on a string. Unfortunately, you won\'t know that till the proverbial walls crash around your shoulders. I\'d recommend talking about it and find out (as has been said) if you\'re singing off the right hymn sheet. Girls can be veeeery fickle creatures indeed.
That said; it took some brass to admit to that, i\'d hide it and hope time eroded it.
I have to agree with liz actuallly. I had an ex that got txts from ex\'s constantly telling her how much they wanted to be with her , etc. I\'m not the jealous type, or maybe i\'m too trusting. Either way, it was a constant, till....surprise, she flipped and went back to an ex.
In this instance i\'d be a bit suspicious. Could be that she really is warming to the fact. Could be she\'s keeping you on a string. Unfortunately, you won\'t know that till the proverbial walls crash around your shoulders. I\'d recommend talking about it and find out (as has been said) if you\'re singing off the right hymn sheet. Girls can be veeeery fickle creatures indeed.
That said; it took some brass to admit to that, i\'d hide it and hope time eroded it.
cfwheeler58
Member
OK....my take on all of this...
In the first conversation, you broke down the first wall.
You probably surprised her.
She has been turning this over in her mind and wondering what\'s next, just as you have.
In the second conversation, you broke down the second wall.
She knows you value her....not just want her.
She knows you are thinking of her feelings too. Girls like that. A lot....
She knows you have shown her respect. Real women love that.
You are on the \"inside\" now. Her guard is probably down.
But...and this is the \"fun\" part....now you are probably one of several things to her:
A) A real man who respects her, puts her first and will not hurt her.
She has the luxury, now, of letting her guard down and seeing where all this goes.
She will set the tone and the pace.
B) A decent fallback / second choice.
Many women love having this but would not admit to it.
C) Someone who can be utilized to make her real interest jealous or attentive.
Sad, but definitely possible.
D) This one sucks, I am sorry to say, but...you may now be her new best girlfriend.
Best of luck, if that\'s your deal....
My advice is to stay the high road you\'ve been on and assume you are A) or even B).
You\'ll know soon enough if you aren\'t.
If nothing else, someone of value will notice your good qualities.
In love, virtue is not just it\'s own reward; it usually attracts someone of value.
Patience and consistency are both needed,
unless you are smokin\' hot, incredibly smooth or just plain wealthy.
Good choices on your part so far.
Hang strong.
In the first conversation, you broke down the first wall.
You probably surprised her.
She has been turning this over in her mind and wondering what\'s next, just as you have.
In the second conversation, you broke down the second wall.
She knows you value her....not just want her.
She knows you are thinking of her feelings too. Girls like that. A lot....
She knows you have shown her respect. Real women love that.
You are on the \"inside\" now. Her guard is probably down.
But...and this is the \"fun\" part....now you are probably one of several things to her:
A) A real man who respects her, puts her first and will not hurt her.
She has the luxury, now, of letting her guard down and seeing where all this goes.
She will set the tone and the pace.
B) A decent fallback / second choice.
Many women love having this but would not admit to it.
C) Someone who can be utilized to make her real interest jealous or attentive.
Sad, but definitely possible.
D) This one sucks, I am sorry to say, but...you may now be her new best girlfriend.
Best of luck, if that\'s your deal....
My advice is to stay the high road you\'ve been on and assume you are A) or even B).
You\'ll know soon enough if you aren\'t.
If nothing else, someone of value will notice your good qualities.
In love, virtue is not just it\'s own reward; it usually attracts someone of value.
Patience and consistency are both needed,
unless you are smokin\' hot, incredibly smooth or just plain wealthy.
Good choices on your part so far.
Hang strong.
cfwheeler58
Member
Oh yeah....there\'s one more possibility....
What if.....
She wants you, but she\'s a \"good\" girl.
She\'s giving you a chance to prove yourself.
The cuddly bit is either subconscious ( not likely ) or direct encouragement.
Remember...
Women are almost always more patient than men when pursuing something they want.
If this is true and you stay on the good friend course,
she will make the first move in her own time and style.
This would be great !
If this is true and you pursue her now,
there could be lots of awesome sex in your near future.
This would be just as great...and sooner!
If this is NOT the case and you pursue her now,
you are worse off than where you started.
You won\'t be able to move out fast enough. This would suck!
So....I would still recommend the high road.
What if.....
She wants you, but she\'s a \"good\" girl.
She\'s giving you a chance to prove yourself.
The cuddly bit is either subconscious ( not likely ) or direct encouragement.
Remember...
Women are almost always more patient than men when pursuing something they want.
If this is true and you stay on the good friend course,
she will make the first move in her own time and style.
This would be great !
If this is true and you pursue her now,
there could be lots of awesome sex in your near future.
This would be just as great...and sooner!
If this is NOT the case and you pursue her now,
you are worse off than where you started.
You won\'t be able to move out fast enough. This would suck!
So....I would still recommend the high road.
EArkham
Necromancer
As others have said, there\'s quite a lot of possibilities going on here.
Luckily, you, too, have several possibly avenues of action.
1) Ask her during one of your cuddlefests what it means. Not in a confrontational way, but with a smile and a \"just making sure\" attitude.
2) Find someone else to casually date, but not secretly. Get your flatmate\'s opinion on the girl before you ask her out. Watch her reaction to decide what to do next.
3) If a mutually imminent kiss moment comes up while cuddling, take it. Don\'t initiate it, but take it if it comes up and she looks like she wants it, too.
Yanno, it occurs to me that I could probably think of another half-dozen things you could do in this situation, but they all have this in common: be open, be honest, be direct, and be cheerful and pleasant about it.
Kep
Luckily, you, too, have several possibly avenues of action.
1) Ask her during one of your cuddlefests what it means. Not in a confrontational way, but with a smile and a \"just making sure\" attitude.
2) Find someone else to casually date, but not secretly. Get your flatmate\'s opinion on the girl before you ask her out. Watch her reaction to decide what to do next.
3) If a mutually imminent kiss moment comes up while cuddling, take it. Don\'t initiate it, but take it if it comes up and she looks like she wants it, too.
Yanno, it occurs to me that I could probably think of another half-dozen things you could do in this situation, but they all have this in common: be open, be honest, be direct, and be cheerful and pleasant about it.
Kep
freakinacage
Well-known member
rock on fella!!!
cassar
BALLSCRATCHER
sorry to rain on your parade man but rather than speedo's i think you should wear a nutt cup cause i predict a severe kick in the unmentionable's shortly. lizcam's is probably right she's using you as a fall back until she finds someone better..oh its valentines day soon too thats a coincidence!!! no woman wants to be left out....my advice brace yourself get the jump on her and start looking for someone else too
Godlikebuthumble
New member
Dude. Way to pee in Ghaf's cheerios. Still, valid point. Cynicism aside... There are far worse outlooks on life than "Fun while it lasts", so go Ghaffasa!
