whats the worst thing you,ve laughed at and really, really shouldnt have
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IdofEntity
New member
I had a vindictive streak a few years ago. A girl I was dating decided to end our relationship to pursue something with an unemployed, uneducated layabout. There wasn't any fighting or yelling, and I just dealt with it.
Two weeks later he dumped her while they were sitting in the back of his pickup truck after she bought him brand new brushes worth $100. He had a history of commitment phobia. One that she was aware of.
Anyways I heard about the whole thing and started giggling like a moron. Not the most mature thing to do, I know. Then she gained thirty pounds. I laughed even more when I saw her after she put on the weight. She left in tears.
I'm an arse, and I'm completely comfortable in that.
Two weeks later he dumped her while they were sitting in the back of his pickup truck after she bought him brand new brushes worth $100. He had a history of commitment phobia. One that she was aware of.
Anyways I heard about the whole thing and started giggling like a moron. Not the most mature thing to do, I know. Then she gained thirty pounds. I laughed even more when I saw her after she put on the weight. She left in tears.
I'm an arse, and I'm completely comfortable in that.
PegaZus
Stealth Freak
Was watching Pet Semetary at the movie theater when it first came out. When the baby shoe flew up in the air and landed on the roadway... I started laughing. HARD.
Actually had to leave the movie for about ten minutes before I finally stopped. Man, was I getting some ugly looks!
Actually had to leave the movie for about ten minutes before I finally stopped. Man, was I getting some ugly looks!
to my shame:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjbOKxNRMWo&feature=related
And I have still laughing at it, when I see it, though the man have hurt himself seriouly.
Greetings, Taggi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjbOKxNRMWo&feature=related
And I have still laughing at it, when I see it, though the man have hurt himself seriouly.
Greetings, Taggi
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ScottRadom
Shogun of Saskatchewan
My Father in law passed away a couple of years ago. He was a bit of a jerk. Wasn't me who did this....
At the funeral the priest was giving the eulogy and he said "Jack was a funny man, always quick to smile and trade a joke." About 4 or 5 of the co workers there started laughing at the joke. Only it wasn't meant to be funny. The composed themelves and left VERY fast once everything was wrapped up.
At the funeral the priest was giving the eulogy and he said "Jack was a funny man, always quick to smile and trade a joke." About 4 or 5 of the co workers there started laughing at the joke. Only it wasn't meant to be funny. The composed themelves and left VERY fast once everything was wrapped up.
Oh my, there's so many to choose from :devil:
One of my favorites happened in a Comparative Literature class which focused on a genre study of hard-boiled fiction and film noir. That day we were studying the photography of Weegee (Arthur Fellig) who made his name photographing crime scenes, car accidents, and all that lovely stuff.
I'd like to take this moment to say that Barb Churchill was teaching this class, and she's easily one of my favorite profs of all time. She has so much enthusiasm for her work, the more disturbing the subject matter the better. She used to say that the best books/movies were the ones that made you want to have a shower after reading/watching them
So back to Weegee. She's having a very spirited conversation with another student, and you can tell she's really starting to get into it. As her enthusiasm builds, Barb mentions a photo of a family that got killed by mobsters, including the baby. And here's where I burst out laughing!
"Don't worry guys, I'm not laughing at the baby... I'm uh totally laughing at something else..."
One of my favorites happened in a Comparative Literature class which focused on a genre study of hard-boiled fiction and film noir. That day we were studying the photography of Weegee (Arthur Fellig) who made his name photographing crime scenes, car accidents, and all that lovely stuff.
I'd like to take this moment to say that Barb Churchill was teaching this class, and she's easily one of my favorite profs of all time. She has so much enthusiasm for her work, the more disturbing the subject matter the better. She used to say that the best books/movies were the ones that made you want to have a shower after reading/watching them
So back to Weegee. She's having a very spirited conversation with another student, and you can tell she's really starting to get into it. As her enthusiasm builds, Barb mentions a photo of a family that got killed by mobsters, including the baby. And here's where I burst out laughing!
"Don't worry guys, I'm not laughing at the baby... I'm uh totally laughing at something else..."
cfwheeler58
Member
True story
In my last corporate job, we had a custodian named Joe. Nice enough guy.
Everybody liked Joe. Not the brightest guy in the world, but again, nice guy.
One day, one of my co-workers does the "OMG, did you hear about Joe ? " thing.
She tells the story: It seems Joe slipped on a wet polished granite floor,
fell and hit his head. People saw it happen from a distance. Before anybody gets
to Joe, he attempts to stand up. He slips again. Hits his head...again. This time
he doesn't get up. He's seriously hurt and he is unconscious. I can see the whole
thing happening in my head and it seems perversely amusing somehow. I don't
say anything when she finishes telling the story and that's that.
Joe misses 3 months of work, but returns to his old job. Same duties. Same old Joe.
I don't see him at all for a while when he comes back, but one day he shows up at
my office with a 7' stepladder. We exchange pleasantries and so on. He tells me
he is here to change fluorescent bulbs and would I mind if he did the ones in my
office now...while I am there.
Let's stop right here.
1) He doesn't fall off the ladder, so don't imagine that's where this is going.
2) I am about to utter a common american expression which will get me in trouble.
So...back to the story.....
Joe asks if I would mind if he climbs the ladder and changes some bulbs in my office
while I am there working.
My response...
" Sure, Joe....knock yourself out "
He looks at me for a second ( the kind that goes on forever ) wondering if I am cute,
clever or just a complete a**hole.
I can't help it. Can't stop it. No chance.
I bust out laughing. Joe looks at me, shakes his head and walks out of my office.
Joe leaves the ladder in my office. I am laughing for 10 minutes. Can't stop.
Not done just yet....because...
He sends his son to get it.
Did I mention that HIS SON IS A CLERK WHO WORKS FOR ME ?????
"Son of Joe" comes in my office 15 minutes later and asks what happened with his father.
I apologize profusely FIRST, then I tell him the story, much as I have just told it here.
I had apologized first because I knew what was going to happen.
I started laughing again. Just as hard. Harder maybe. Definitely.
Thank God. "Son of Joe" started laughing too, Couldn't help it either.
The next day I left a welcome back ( apology ) greeting card for Joe along with
a new set of metric hex socket drives which his son ultimately told me he had wanted.
After that, whenever Joe saw me he would smile and shake his head side to side in
that "you need to grow up" manner that every father perfects over time.
True story.
Knock yourself out.
ROFL even now, 7 years later.
Hope you all enjoyed the story.
CFW
In my last corporate job, we had a custodian named Joe. Nice enough guy.
Everybody liked Joe. Not the brightest guy in the world, but again, nice guy.
One day, one of my co-workers does the "OMG, did you hear about Joe ? " thing.
She tells the story: It seems Joe slipped on a wet polished granite floor,
fell and hit his head. People saw it happen from a distance. Before anybody gets
to Joe, he attempts to stand up. He slips again. Hits his head...again. This time
he doesn't get up. He's seriously hurt and he is unconscious. I can see the whole
thing happening in my head and it seems perversely amusing somehow. I don't
say anything when she finishes telling the story and that's that.
Joe misses 3 months of work, but returns to his old job. Same duties. Same old Joe.
I don't see him at all for a while when he comes back, but one day he shows up at
my office with a 7' stepladder. We exchange pleasantries and so on. He tells me
he is here to change fluorescent bulbs and would I mind if he did the ones in my
office now...while I am there.
Let's stop right here.
1) He doesn't fall off the ladder, so don't imagine that's where this is going.
2) I am about to utter a common american expression which will get me in trouble.
So...back to the story.....
Joe asks if I would mind if he climbs the ladder and changes some bulbs in my office
while I am there working.
My response...
" Sure, Joe....knock yourself out "
He looks at me for a second ( the kind that goes on forever ) wondering if I am cute,
clever or just a complete a**hole.
I can't help it. Can't stop it. No chance.
I bust out laughing. Joe looks at me, shakes his head and walks out of my office.
Joe leaves the ladder in my office. I am laughing for 10 minutes. Can't stop.
Not done just yet....because...
He sends his son to get it.
Did I mention that HIS SON IS A CLERK WHO WORKS FOR ME ?????
"Son of Joe" comes in my office 15 minutes later and asks what happened with his father.
I apologize profusely FIRST, then I tell him the story, much as I have just told it here.
I had apologized first because I knew what was going to happen.
I started laughing again. Just as hard. Harder maybe. Definitely.
Thank God. "Son of Joe" started laughing too, Couldn't help it either.
The next day I left a welcome back ( apology ) greeting card for Joe along with
a new set of metric hex socket drives which his son ultimately told me he had wanted.
After that, whenever Joe saw me he would smile and shake his head side to side in
that "you need to grow up" manner that every father perfects over time.
True story.
Knock yourself out.
ROFL even now, 7 years later.
Hope you all enjoyed the story.
CFW
Avelorn
Sven Jonsson
@CFW, yeah that was good!
I generally laugh at all kinds of things that are unappropriate. Generally the more shocked I get that harder I laugh just as long it's not very mean.
I met a deaf woman once when I had a short internship, she tried to tell me something in that way people who never have heard speak. Lots of wovels.. A Lot of decibels.. First time I heard it and I couldn't tell if she was angry or sad or indifferent or what she even meant. She was short sighted as well and stood, you know, a fair bit too close into the private sphere for me to remain comfortable regardless. I started laughing when she left. Luckily she didn't hear me.
What? :wasntme:
I generally laugh at all kinds of things that are unappropriate. Generally the more shocked I get that harder I laugh just as long it's not very mean.
I met a deaf woman once when I had a short internship, she tried to tell me something in that way people who never have heard speak. Lots of wovels.. A Lot of decibels.. First time I heard it and I couldn't tell if she was angry or sad or indifferent or what she even meant. She was short sighted as well and stood, you know, a fair bit too close into the private sphere for me to remain comfortable regardless. I started laughing when she left. Luckily she didn't hear me.
What? :wasntme:
Wyrmypops
New member
What a punchline.
Mine starts with the caveat "I was drunk". As so many stories do I guess.
Was idling with the then girlfriend in her family home after a night out. She started deriding her ex, so I joined in. Only, I can get a little ranty when I've had a few, and did. Apparently I got loud and sweary about the ex's many shortcomings, with particular attention given to inventive swearing.
Next morning over tea and toast, her parents appeared. Her parents being those people you only see in Richard Curtis films, middle class gentle church-goers. We all say our hellos and they ask how our night out went, we said it was fun to which they commented "Must have been. We heard you. We didn't know you knew words like that." I was gaping like a landed fish. I nearly died when they asked "I've not heard **** before, what is a ****?"
Mine starts with the caveat "I was drunk". As so many stories do I guess.
Was idling with the then girlfriend in her family home after a night out. She started deriding her ex, so I joined in. Only, I can get a little ranty when I've had a few, and did. Apparently I got loud and sweary about the ex's many shortcomings, with particular attention given to inventive swearing.
Next morning over tea and toast, her parents appeared. Her parents being those people you only see in Richard Curtis films, middle class gentle church-goers. We all say our hellos and they ask how our night out went, we said it was fun to which they commented "Must have been. We heard you. We didn't know you knew words like that." I was gaping like a landed fish. I nearly died when they asked "I've not heard **** before, what is a ****?"
freakinacage
Well-known member
we had a fat lesbian student who was on placement with us. she sat in one of the wide armchairs we have in the staff room. it was nearing 9am and most people had got up to leave when she decided to go. her arse was so big it took the chair with her (not sure why, she had sat in that chair many a time before that). that unbalanced her and she fell forward with it still stuck to her. there were only 3 others in there, myself and my on call partner looked at each other and nearly pissed ourselves, while thankfully the other guy rushed over to help her. she wasn't hurt but embarrassed. took me some time to recover too...
evil tendencies
Cake or Death?
Our detectives were doing an orientation for the new cops, and because I was always training as a cadet, I was assigned to the class on my day off. It was going fine until they started showing crime scene photos. One of them was a gang-banger who had just pulled a drive-by with an fully-automatic rifle, and who was still leaning out the window when the driver took a corner too hard and rolled the SUV they were in. His head was...
...well, let's just say that the detectives called him "Pac-Man" based on his new looks. I was laughing so hard in the back row when they said this that I was crying, and the couple of new guys who caught me doing this got rather concerned looks on their faces.
A couple of weeks later, I realized who I was turning into, and got out of the business.
...well, let's just say that the detectives called him "Pac-Man" based on his new looks. I was laughing so hard in the back row when they said this that I was crying, and the couple of new guys who caught me doing this got rather concerned looks on their faces.
A couple of weeks later, I realized who I was turning into, and got out of the business.
This is a story from my youth. I grew up on RAF Akrotiri and while we lived there it was subject to a few terrorist threats. The responce to this was that all car parks near buildings where off limits and to stop people using them a few barrels with rope between them where put across the entance. So its a Sat morning and my Dad and I are cycling to the wargames club, this takes us past the sports fields and the doctors, Dad spots a rugby game starting and wants to watch a bit so pulls in to the doctors car park as a short cut to the field. Before I can shout his front tyre hits the rope and stops the bike dead, Dad with all the grace of a russian acrobat does a full 360 summersalt and lands sitting on the carpark still clutching the rulebook in his hand. I wanted and should have asked if he was ok but was ROFL with tears down my face.
squig hunter
New member
I'm not even gonna start..
squig
squig
Necroghast
New member
One time my friends were talking to each other about how both thier cats had died. When thay both said "awwwwwwww" at the same time I couldn't help laughing... It was funny!
Also, Tourettes Guy on youtube. I don't know if he actually has tourettes or not, but I still know I probably shouldn't be laughing. But it's just so FUNNY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtr_RvR3sY (strong language warning)
Also, Tourettes Guy on youtube. I don't know if he actually has tourettes or not, but I still know I probably shouldn't be laughing. But it's just so FUNNY!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqtr_RvR3sY (strong language warning)
@CFW: Thanks man that really brightened up what has started as a complete SH*T of a day. (How nice to come in to find a Formal Complaint Email first thing....Bummer sh*tty reports and interviews all day).
Anyhow my bad side moment that I'll admit too, (of which there are many I'll add):-
At one of the education sites We support there was a Security Person called "Tess". To say she was large is being an understatement as she had to open both doors on a double door to pass through, was as wide as she was tall and she was almost the same height as me (5'.11").
As to be expected of someone of this size she had other issues with mobility, breathing, eyesight and managing stairs.
One particular morning after the commencement of very large conference full of Primary School Headteachers from all over the Northwest of England, Tess goes to answer a call on the First floor.
Halfway Up the second flight of stairs she misses a step and starts to fall, but reaches out and grabs a passing conference delegate, who to her credit manages to hold Tess in balance for about 5 seconds until Gravity, Inertia and Inevitibility took over.
Tess goes backwards like a collapsing barrage balloon, pulling delegate with her. Tess rolls a complete 360 arc, hits the wall and continues an uncontrollable decent down first flight of stairs. The delegate however is lying in a state of shock on the mid landing,
Tess however has crashed down the steps and landed at the bottom, she's cut her head, bitten through a lip, lost a shoe, burst out of both her uniform Blouse and Skirt.
But to add insult to injury she can't get enough leverage to sit up and is rolling around like a Weeble.
It took three of people to assist her into a sitting position, and stay with her until the ambulance team arrived. Me having witnessed this has to go an hide in a room well away for nearly an hour as I'm nearly peeing myself with laughter.
When I eventually regain control I go down the stairs only to spot Tess's missing shoe trapped in a hanging light fitting.......And off I went again.
Tess left the job the next week.
Anyhow my bad side moment that I'll admit too, (of which there are many I'll add):-
At one of the education sites We support there was a Security Person called "Tess". To say she was large is being an understatement as she had to open both doors on a double door to pass through, was as wide as she was tall and she was almost the same height as me (5'.11").
As to be expected of someone of this size she had other issues with mobility, breathing, eyesight and managing stairs.
One particular morning after the commencement of very large conference full of Primary School Headteachers from all over the Northwest of England, Tess goes to answer a call on the First floor.
Halfway Up the second flight of stairs she misses a step and starts to fall, but reaches out and grabs a passing conference delegate, who to her credit manages to hold Tess in balance for about 5 seconds until Gravity, Inertia and Inevitibility took over.
Tess goes backwards like a collapsing barrage balloon, pulling delegate with her. Tess rolls a complete 360 arc, hits the wall and continues an uncontrollable decent down first flight of stairs. The delegate however is lying in a state of shock on the mid landing,
Tess however has crashed down the steps and landed at the bottom, she's cut her head, bitten through a lip, lost a shoe, burst out of both her uniform Blouse and Skirt.
But to add insult to injury she can't get enough leverage to sit up and is rolling around like a Weeble.
It took three of people to assist her into a sitting position, and stay with her until the ambulance team arrived. Me having witnessed this has to go an hide in a room well away for nearly an hour as I'm nearly peeing myself with laughter.
When I eventually regain control I go down the stairs only to spot Tess's missing shoe trapped in a hanging light fitting.......And off I went again.
Tess left the job the next week.
freakinacage
Well-known member
yeah that one got me too. did feel a tad guilty after though
@mike, i think that shoe would have cracked me too!
Ok this might give you a laugh:
A good few years ago while in the Civil Service I was working with a guy nicknamed "Whelkie". While on a particularly boring afternoon shift I found a small coupling peg, which looked a little like a chess set pawn.
Being the evil and wicked sort of b*st*rd I am I though of nothing better to do than hide it under the (very cheap) seat cover of Whelkie's chair while He nipped to the loo..
So does he come back and sit down, Oh No.
For the next hour he wanders around the mainframe muttering to himself, picking up bits of printout, checking job schedules...all the stuff we've done all day.
Eventually he sits down, on the hidden connector and promptley leaps about 5 feet into the air......
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Well how was I supposed to know the guy had Haemorrhoids?
A good few years ago while in the Civil Service I was working with a guy nicknamed "Whelkie". While on a particularly boring afternoon shift I found a small coupling peg, which looked a little like a chess set pawn.
Being the evil and wicked sort of b*st*rd I am I though of nothing better to do than hide it under the (very cheap) seat cover of Whelkie's chair while He nipped to the loo..
So does he come back and sit down, Oh No.
For the next hour he wanders around the mainframe muttering to himself, picking up bits of printout, checking job schedules...all the stuff we've done all day.
Eventually he sits down, on the hidden connector and promptley leaps about 5 feet into the air......
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Well how was I supposed to know the guy had Haemorrhoids?
mickc22
Granddad!
@mike: both of those brought tears to my eyes
OK, might as well join in, this goes back to my high school days, when we lived in Geelong, (Australia). Across the road from where we live are a vast area of salt pans, Cheetham Saltworks, needless to say that the area is out of bounds to the public.
But being teenagers, who takes notice of "no trespassing" signs. So it's me, my brother, who's a year younger, and a mate of mine from school, who to say the least, was never one of the lucky ones. Here we are, we've been wandering around the place, avoiding the few staff we saw, for hours. It's beginning to get dark and we must be about a good hour and half from where we'd entered the place, and to top it off it starts to rain, so rather than head back the way we'd come, we decided to head straight back to a land mark we knew was close to our house, and it's raining harder. The area we've been walking along is about two to three feet wide, made from a clay like mud, with a steep slope down either side which is filled with water, and by now me and my brother are running as fast as possible and shouting at this other guy to keep up. And now it's raining even heavier, the kind of heavy where you have to squint to see where you are going. My brother is leading the way when,
...........and I'll finish when I get back from the doctors
OK, might as well join in, this goes back to my high school days, when we lived in Geelong, (Australia). Across the road from where we live are a vast area of salt pans, Cheetham Saltworks, needless to say that the area is out of bounds to the public.
But being teenagers, who takes notice of "no trespassing" signs. So it's me, my brother, who's a year younger, and a mate of mine from school, who to say the least, was never one of the lucky ones. Here we are, we've been wandering around the place, avoiding the few staff we saw, for hours. It's beginning to get dark and we must be about a good hour and half from where we'd entered the place, and to top it off it starts to rain, so rather than head back the way we'd come, we decided to head straight back to a land mark we knew was close to our house, and it's raining harder. The area we've been walking along is about two to three feet wide, made from a clay like mud, with a steep slope down either side which is filled with water, and by now me and my brother are running as fast as possible and shouting at this other guy to keep up. And now it's raining even heavier, the kind of heavy where you have to squint to see where you are going. My brother is leading the way when,
...........and I'll finish when I get back from the doctors
