Things that I have learned (hobby maxims and other dubious "wisdom")

ozymandias

New member
OK so this is basically an excuse for me to procrastinate from work for a few minutes. I figured it would be interesting to set out some of the things I have learned in my years in the hobby and to see what words of wisdom the CMON members can add.

1. Children are the curse painters - I learned this one the hard way when working at GW back in the 1990s. Having done a instruction session with a 12 year old, he knocked over the pot of open paint. I handed him a tissue to wipe the pot and... well he turned the open pot upside down to wipe its bottom spilling paint over everything he had done and everything else out on the table that I was working on.

2. Rule 1 applies to animals too - I should have figured this one out, but my newly acquired cats have a love of my miniatures... so its back to the drawing board on the plague bearer squad.

3. You can't paint with an "orrible bit of yaks tail" - quoted from an old White Dwarf, but its true. Love yer brushes and they'll love you.

4. Thin your paints - 'nuff said. There's load on the forum on this topic.

5. Practice makes perfect - for those of us that aren't Davinci, the only way to improve is to paint. It is easier to have some where set up that you can return to, but if leaving minis out means that rule 1 or 2 is going to be an issue have an option that allows you to pick up and carry on easily.

6. Buy minis that inspire you and paint them how you want - Historical miniatures aside, its a fantasy hobby. If I read another post asking what miniatures to buy or what colour to paint them, I'll scream. To my mind the joy of the hobby is creativity - whether that is painting something that scores 9.8 on the site or whole armies for gaming - therefore paint what you enjoy and enjoy what you paint.

7. If in doubt ask... I think I have learned more about the hobby from the folks on the forums than I would have ever figured out myself. I'm sure that the painting instruction DVDs are brilliant (I can't believe people make money from getting other folk to watch paint dry :)) but the personal approach can be invaluable.

9. Branded hobby tools, brushes etc are overpriced - chances are you can find everything that one of the big wargaming companies produces for less if you shop around. I don't beat myself up for buying from GW or Privateer Press or any of the other big companies if it is convenient but I find half the fun is finding stuff for the hobby.

10. You don't need tons of paint or equipment - I'm guilty as hell on this one. As Mrs Oz says, my hobby is collecting paint. However, that being said, I recently took a small selection (8 paints, two brushes, a hobby knife, glue and a file) on holiday recently and realised that I was far, far more productive.

11. Set yourself goals and stick with it - Yep, I'm terrible on this one as well. I must have about a dozen projects on the go at any one time. And it is no coincidence that I really finish many of them before my enthusiasm wains and I am distracted by the next shiny thing. Honestly, if I'd known that first time I saw a minature (a GW beaky marine in case you are interested) I was getting into an addiction that is worse than crack, I might have taken up fly fishing instead. I'm like a magpie and surfing the net looking for the next mini that grabs my attention. So no more. I'm resolving to stick to a project and finish it! (So time to rescue the reminents of the plague bearers from that cats and get started).

12. Living in a desert has its challenges - ok so this one may not be generally applicable. I'm based in Dubai which means: (a) the drying time of paint is a New York nano-second (technically the short period of time measurable being the period between a stop light changing and the taxi driver behind you hitting his horn); and (b) getting hold of anything hobby related is difficult (there's only one hobby store and its stock is limited).

13. The price of miniatures is only going to go one way - when I started in the hobby GW used to sell 5 human size miniatures for 2.50 pounds. Everyone whinges about it, but that the problem with the addiction that is the hobby. Stricter application to rule 11 helps in terms of costs. But I'm not so optimistic about my ability to resist...

14. Buy it when you see it... Ok so this runs completely counter to rule 13, but on the rare ocassions that have seen me resist temptation it ends up costing me a fortune on ebay later. For example, I didn't buy the chicken dragon when it was in the stores, I didn't buy the vorag miniatures from Ilyad before they went bust, I didn't buy Zombicide season 1 on kickstarter, I didn't... oh what the hell I'm just sounding bitter now.

15. Rackham was great - *sigh* how the hell they screwed up that company is beyond me. Hopefully legacy reprints of the miniatures will stratch that itch. But if not, rule 14 may be the end of me as I buy up stuff on ebay.

16. Never ever, ever raise an issue relating to GW on the forums unless you want it to kick off....

Well that has served the primary purpose of passing the afternoon. Any one else got any pearls of wisdom (or indeed thinks that most of what is write is lunacy), please chip in.
 

Dragonsreach

Super Moderator
Staff member
17. Never let your Missus, girlfriend or mother tidy up your painting area/room. You'll never find anything ever again!

18. Under no account let your mother-in-law anywhere near Painted miniatures, unless you are Armed, carrying an electric cattle prod or prepared to spend the next 30 years behind bars.

19. Superglue soaks through denims in picoseconds and dries faster to the hair on your leg, than to any model known to mankind.

20. X-Acto hobby knife blades, when newly fitted to their handle, will seek out the tiniest fraction of unprotected skin to pierce.

21. The act of shaking paint bottles to mix the paint will ultimatley result in the covering of A) the walls, B) you, C) your partner, D) the Carpet, E) some random stranger passing by or F) the dog. (Or all 6 at once)


Ozymandias; If you are finding things difficult to get out to Dubai, I'm always willing to help another painter.
 

ozymandias

New member
Ozymandias; If you are finding things difficult to get out to Dubai, I'm always willing to help another painter.

Thanks Mike. I'm over in Blighty next month on a trip that conveniently overlaps with Salute in London so I should be able to get my "fix" for a while.

And on with the maxims:

22. My painting room has its own localised version of the Bermuda triangle - pieces of miniatures that are dropped inexplicably disappear without trace only to turn up months or even years later.

23. My eyes are bigger than my belly - whilst this would apply to food (*best homer simpson voice* "mmm food"), but also happens in the hobby. My grand visions of a diorama with hundreds of miniatures very, very rarely are completed. I have two on my desk at the moment - a seige scene and an orc and goblin warband entering battle - that have been there for at least 3 years in various stages of assembly / painting. Recognising my lack discipline (and ability to stop painting for anything that resembles beer or a burger, but that's another story) I have now started painting single minis that can attach to the grand diorama with magnets / pins. Who knows, it is just possible that I'll finish one of them.

24. Kickstarter may be the death of me - rule 11 is the only solution, But damn, if they keep adding optional survivors on Zombicide I am going to keep buying them. In fact Kickstarter has taken this hobby from being akin to a crack addiction to a whole new level. Honestly, it like being Tiger Woods let loose in the playboy mansion...

25. Comfort is the key - irrespective of where you paint, you need to be comfortable to do it. A good chair is a painter's friend. And in my case snacks and drinks within arms length can only help.
 

Einion

New member
Well there's far too much actual wisdom in this thread for my liking! The title had me expecting much more in the way of bollocks, but instead there's all this stuff that's actually good and insightful *sigh*

So to balance the scales somewhat, here are some choice bits of doobius modelling wisdom:

A) you can get a brush to anything you can see;
B) always assemble a miniature completely before painting, relates to A;
C) the new jars are better than the old jars ...please don't notice that they're also smaller even though the price went up;
D) nothing beats a metal casting;
E) you need a complete set of paints to help you paint difficult colours like black, white and fleshtones, but also red and yellow... and maybe green and blue while we're at it;
F) for sets such as E it's a great idea to design them so that none of the colours can be bought individually (F stands for...);
G) washes and glazes are far too complicated and difficult to be left to modellers to make for themselves so must be offered in unending numbers to satisfy the pressing need.

Einion
 

Dragonsreach

Super Moderator
Staff member
D) nothing beats a metal casting;
Really?
faifg4-350x350.jpg

:hammer::pirate:;)
 

RuneBrush

New member
26. If (as in my case) your girlfriend/partner/other half paints, most of your supplies will end up wherever they work so hide/nail down the bits you don't want somebody else to use.
27. If a miniature looks precarious and you have a vision of it falling onto the floor and shattering into a million pieces or knocking over and bits snapping off - move it. You are being given a moment of preconception so put it to full use.
 

Bloodhowl

Active member
27. If a miniature looks precarious and you have a vision of it falling onto the floor and shattering into a million pieces or knocking over and bits snapping off - move it. You are being given a moment of preconception so put it to full use.

It is usually at the point that I decide to move it, that I manage to knock it off of where it is resting and it shatters into a million pieces. So I guess:

28. Know when to leave well enough alone?
 

ChemicalFencer

Lost in the desert
29. Enjoy yourself!!!

12. Living in a desert has its challenges - ok so this one may not be generally applicable. I'm based in Dubai which means: (a) the drying time of paint is a New York nano-second (technically the short period of time measurable being the period between a stop light changing and the taxi driver behind you hitting his horn); and (b) getting hold of anything hobby related is difficult (there's only one hobby store and its stock is limited).

I'm across in Qatar and there is no gaming shop here. I went to Stop & Shop (or whatever its called) and you are right, the stock is limited. Might I suggest an Aramex account to bring things in from the UK and the US.
 

airhead

Coffin Dodger / Keymaster
30. Never put your drink down next to your brush rinse water. At best, you'll rinse your brush in Pepsi....

31. Make sure that is clear matt (not matt primer) you are about to spray on your award winning model that you have spent a month painting.
 

RuneBrush

New member
It is usually at the point that I decide to move it, that I manage to knock it off of where it is resting and it shatters into a million pieces. So I guess:

28. Know when to leave well enough alone?

Lol, yup that's very true too!

30. The water pot and the coffee mug are easily confused.
 

Flow

New member
This is a little bizarre as I created a thematically identical thread on the Reaper forums on the same day as this thread's creation; I hereby swear on the little metal souls of the Grenadier and Ral Partha miniatures that I love so very much that this was a strange cultural hive-mind coincidence.

In any case, I'll repeat the one I initially created over there (which has already been said - it's apparently a popular mistake):

"Don't put your cup of coffee right next to the cup of water you use to clean your paint brush; you're bound to eventually make one of two possible mistakes, and both are unpleasant."
 

Sand Rat

New member
Having spent time in the desert, I agree with #12.

#31. (Relates to 12) - No matter how well you cover the minis or what you cover them with, they will collect dust heavily during the time you are away from them. And no matter how well you wash them, you will only find the last bit of dust with your brush as you paint.
 

ozymandias

New member
Well there's far too much actual wisdom in this thread for my liking! The title had me expecting much more in the way of bollocks, but instead there's all this stuff that's actually good and insightful *sigh*

Sorry Einon, to balance it out i might add:

32. A windowsill in a sunny spot is an ideal place to display GW's finecast miniatures - actually my experiment todate is producing something like a 3d salvadore dali painting. If only GW did clocks...

33. A career in law is to be highly recommended for the serious hobbiest - yep, that dizzy combination of cash and free time is ideal. Oh wait a minute, there's no free time? Oh hell

34. Its a great hobby for those with limited space - i mean minatures are small, right? That theory worked for about 5 years. Over the next 20 ive got to the stage where Mrs oz is suggestinging that we might have to get a separate apartment for the miniatures. .
 

ozymandias

New member
As long as its not a separate apartment for you.

LOL - if she catches me sneaking minis into the apartment any more i mightbe agt risk. Which reminds me:

35. Miniatures are ideal for marital harmony. They keep you out from under foot and really dont costall THATmuch.honest guv. Just remember to get a plain bag
 

me_in_japan

New member
35. Miniatures are worth what you paid for them, not what somebody else will.

36. Never brushlick when using oil paints. (I'm currently treating my new found love of oil washes as a form of aversion therapy to kick myself out of this bad habit.)


37. If you ever have cause to pack your paints in a suitcase for air travel, tape the lids down before you do.


38. Never leave your wet palette out of the fridge overnight in anything approaching warm temperatures. If you do, on day 2 there will be a funny smell, day 3 a slight fuzz, and if you leave it that long, by day 7 there will be a fully developed ecosystem with tiny little bugses hunting the bigger bugses with flint spears and suchlike.

oh, and re: coffee cup/ paint pot proximity issues - yeah, plus one to that for me. Blech...
 
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