Does Santa have elves or gnomes?

[Madharia]

Umm... Actually they ARE gnomes, but the english folk didn\'t like to say christmas gnome, so they thought elf rhymes better with christmas . As I live in Finland, we believe Santa lives in Lappland, which lies in the north of Finland. Actually, we call \'Santa\' Joulupukki, which means the same as Christmas goat. lol

 

[Gypsy]

\"And what about us elves
We\'ve had enough as well
Working in that freezing cold
It\'s cold as fucking hell
We work until we drop
With our bollocks freezing off
Stick yer Christmas up yer arse
Ho ho fucking ho


Ho ho fucking ho
What a crock of shit
We all work for Santa Claus
We\'ve had enough, we quit
Cause we do all the fucking work
While he stars in the show
Stick your Christmas up your arse
Ho ho fucking Ho\"


Now bow to the mighty Monty Python.

 

[Braveheart712]

I beg to disagree...

Originally posted by Madharia
Umm... Actually they ARE gnomes../quote]

No they are Elves because Gnomes are plastic lawn ornaments that are commonly spotted gracing the summer lawns of North American trailer parks. They tend to keep plastic pink flamingos as pets, and hide from the mid summer sun in the shade of the wooden bent over ladies that look kinda like mushrooms.

\"Of course that is just my opinion, I could be wrong...\" -Dennis Miller

 

[praetorian0_1]

ouch what is that in my sock

Originally posted by praetorian0_1
...you know what happens when a fable is translated accross languages... I guess maybe that whatever language didn\'t have a proper name for gnomes- so the closest thing they had was elf. Besides: Like any elf would let himself go like that santa pig- they\'re all like totally bulemic dontchaknowlol

a lump of coal??? in June:wow: ummm apparently I was very mistaken about Santa- he is a very handsome, handsome man- tres swave. I\'d like to read this statement now: I was very wrong to say the rude comments about this great man.
Elves wish to be called Elves- they appear to us how they want us to see them. I shall never again besmirch the good name of Christmas again and plan to be a good boy all year, every year. Once again I appologise
ps glad to see my guess about the language thing was about right and thanks for the confirmation to the Northern folks.

 

[Sand Rat]

Neither actually, cause the MAIN MAN fragged em ALL!!!

 

[dauber22]

Originally posted by Fizl
Tooshy - I lurve xmas, but if I start getting excited about it now, I will be completely unbearable by August let alone decemeber

Shaz

No need to fret, Shaz. Nor any need to wait for December, for that matter. It\'s nearly Leon!!!! June 25th!!!! Woooo-Hooooo!

:innocent::bouncy::flip::innocent:

 

[supervike]

are you forgetting....

Originally posted by Braveheart712

Originally posted by Madharia
Umm... Actually they ARE gnomes../quote]

No they are Elves because Gnomes are plastic lawn ornaments that are commonly spotted gracing the summer lawns of North American trailer parks. They tend to keep plastic pink flamingos as pets, and hide from the mid summer sun in the shade of the wooden bent over ladies that look kinda like mushrooms.

\"Of course that is just my opinion, I could be wrong...\" -Dennis Miller

There are a few other \"lawn ornaments\" you have failed to mention....The nefarious Gazing Ball and the dog that looks like he is half buried, digging for something. No trailer park is complete without all of those...

 

[finn17]

Originally posted by supervike
There are a few other \"lawn ornaments\" you have failed to mention....The nefarious Gazing Ball and the dog that looks like he is half buried, digging for something. No trailer park is complete without all of those...

Half buried dog I am familar with..very popular over here as well amongst \'certain quarters\'. But wtf is the Gazing Ball?

 

[tooshy]

Erm......

Isn\'t a gazing ball just one of those dumb spheres you put in the garden ??? I have a chinese dragon (in 3 pieces) so he looks like he\'s going in and out of the lawn BTW \"lawn\" in my case = large area, currently looking like hell, with no chance of getting a lawn mower around it

 

[supervike]

gazing ball....

Maybe they are not as popular in the rest of the country (or world for that matter)

They are little reflective balls of glass, that you can look into and see your whole garden. Here are some:

http://www.abirdsworld.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=ABW&Category_Code=718

In my job, I have to go into a lot of back yards, and they are just about everywhere. The goofiest looking one I saw was actually just a bowling ball set onto a pedestal. You\'d think they\'d be smart enough to at least place it finger hole side down....

 

[finn17]

Nope, never seen dem before...

As Tooshy said, folks in Britain put spheres in their garden, but these are dead plain compared to those. Certainly not reflective....

Shouldn\'t that site be \'absurd world\', not \'a birds world\'?

Could be a typo???

 

[vincegamer]

Originally posted by TAB Studio
I am told the Elves would not go for Santa\'s work ethic nor do they tinker quite as well. It just would not be they are too aloof.

Well, if you read Tolkein, and take him as authoritative, elves tinker a great deal, or at least they used to. It was elves who made all them pretty rings after all.

 

[vincegamer]

Originally posted by Day
I\'d call them gnomes, not elves, since they sometimes have beards and all that.

Well, to reference Tolkein as authority again (just cause I like to and since GW D&D etc. seem to), elves HAVE beards.

 

[vincegamer]

glass orbs

Strange but true, these garden ornaments are of Japanese origin. They were originally used as floats to suspend fishing nets before styrofoam was invented. With the invention of styrofoam, Japanese fishermen found they had a lot of these old balls lying around and they were unreliable because they could break and they were expensive to make so they started using them to ornament gardens.
Truth is, in the Pacific Ocean, sailors occasionally will find these balls still floating free (came loose from nets) some of which are hundreds of years old.

 

[dauber22]

I just thank (insert diety here) that the mexican w/burro and little black jockey w/lantern have fallen out of favor. I do have a soft spot for flamingoes though.

 

[supervike]

maybe I need to pray harder!

Originally posted by dauber22
I just thank (insert diety here) that the mexican w/burro and little black jockey w/lantern have fallen out of favor.

Would you please phone my neighbor and tell her this? She has both (PLUS several gazing balls (none of them japanese) a windmill, lawn tractor, and a mulch pile that looks strangely like Jabba the Hutt).

 

[dauber22]

Originally posted by supervike
... a mulch pile that looks strangely like Jabba the Hutt).

[spits coffee: wipes monitor]

lol lol lol lol lol lol

I gotta get me one of those!

As for the others, sensibilities must be different in Iowa. Either the mexican or the jockey would likely get your house firebombed around here :]

 

[supervike]

hmm...

How does one go about making this \"firebomb\"

(i am just interested on a purely academic reason)

:flame::flame:

 

[dauber22]

Dangerous question to ask! You forget, my formative years were in the 60\'s & 70\'s. I aquired a great deal of \"knowledge\" of all sorts... purely for academic reasons, of course :innocent:

 

[Mosch]

Orginal gepostet von steelcult
Neither actually, cause the MAIN MAN fragged em ALL!!!

A, the paramilitary X-Mas special. Exactly the same thing I thought of while reading this thread


Talking about lawn ornaments, don\'t you just HATE those that make sounds? My beloved parents bought a hellish plastic duck that runs on a single battery and emits a fearsome high-pitched noise that not only makes your ears bleed but also makes every single bird around your garden explode if you get anywhere near it, for example if you walk on the same continent.
Ask my girlfriend sakura if I like that wonderful thing, I have to go to anger management class. OR take my medication. Or do anything to get my blood pressure down.